Reasons to quit tango

#21
How can it make us worse emotionally? If you didn't dance would you be more willing to commit to someone, or commit closer to someone or would you just spend more unproductive time on your own? Would it be possible to relate to a wider number of congenial people in some other way? Does dancing stop you relating more deeply to a small number of people? Would there be another activity - bellringing, for example, or trout-fishing - that would help you to relate closely, cooperatively and sensitively to a range of other people?

I guess involvement in the dance world means an constant supply of potential replacement partners if you're of a mind to be restless - and clearly many people are. But I don't think it would be right to blame this restlessness on the dance itself, it comes from within. It's obviously possible to be in committed relationship and still enjoy tango anyway.

I think I am more developed emotionally as a result of involvement in dancing, though not specifically tango. Whether I would have got to the same place by absorption in another hobby, or just by 10 more years in the school of life, I don't know. Perhaps the issue is where I could have got to by absorption in people, rather than in a hobby?
Well you're right to look at the "opportunity cost". What else would we have done with our time? Probably watched TV and examined our navel fluff. Or gone trout fishing :rolleyes:

On the other hand , tango does allow you to get to know people in a very strange fashion. One moment you are strangers, the next you're pressed against their chests and are searching for a physical "connection". It allows you to bypass all of that awkward stuff in getting to know someone like - you know - "conversation" :p. For those who are "conversationally challenged", it's a godsend.

Even if you do "do" small talk, it's still attractive. There's a school of thinking in dance circles that you dont actually want to get to know your dance partners really well. Getting to know them may mean judging them. Deciding in fact whether you want to be friends with them. By not going that far, you can see the best side of them - see their essential spirit/goodness.

So if you are someone who is OK at small talk, but struggles with longer conversations, you're still safe. ;)

For the singles amongst us, contrast this acceptance with the pain and hassle of internet dating. Or any other sort of dating :rolleyes:.

And if you are within a couple, and are struggling, tango is a refuge you can return to. Rather than deal with the actual relationship issues.

Let me make it clear here that I am not judging. Or condemning people for being "weak". Tango is what it is. But like all powerful substances ("drugs") it has the potential to harm. Knowing that and guarding against it is half the battle.
 

Steve Pastor

Moderator
Staff member
#23
For the singles amongst us, contrast this acceptance with the pain and hassle of internet dating. Or any other sort of dating
Except that any kind of partner dancing IS like dating.
As someone pointed out to me (the obvious! or maybe not), "it's all about relationships".
 

newbie

Well-Known Member
#28
The following ones are true for me but they won't make me quit.

2.) Nobody to Dance with on a Regular Basis.
12.) Someone keeps wanting to dance with me that I don’t like and its a small town and I don’t want to hurt their feelings so I should just stop.
14.) I’m not good enough.
16.) I don’t hear the music.


2.) But it can change.
12.) She's not after me, she's after just any leader.
14.) But I'm better than most.
16.) But given the number of instruments in an orchestra, even when walking randomly I am necessarily following one.
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#29
After reading the original post...

Oh, well [expeletive deleted]! That pretty much sums up why I haven't gone to a milonga in several months.
 

Steve Pastor

Moderator
Staff member
#33
I'd call this a Hijack, but I didn't bring it up...

The "Blues Scale" presented here http://www.jazclass.aust.com/scales/scablu.htm
is by no means indicative of the full range of what is used by people who write and/or play blues, based on W.C. Handy's "St Louis Blues", and "Rock Me Baby" written by Joe Josea and B.B. King (if you want to look those up) or if you want to read a whole lot about blues......
And "Blues Dancing"...
Typical exchange. "So what blues dances do you do?" "Close embrace and open embrace."
Meanwhile, since I've strayed off topic....

Can anyone tell me if they have been taught to split their corridas or traspies unevenly, with a "slow quickquick" feel as is taught at some levels of swing dance?

And quiting AT?
How about being on sabatical?
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#34
Can anyone tell me if they have been taught to split their corridas or traspies unevenly, with a "slow quickquick" feel as is taught at some levels of swing dance?

And quiting AT?
How about being on sabatical?
I was taught milonga with traspie from the very beginning, and I was taught them unevenly just as I was taught them even. (I started off learning milonga by being taught to listen for the 1, ah, 2, and 3, ah 4...much like a samba rhythm.) I never realized that there was a name for it until later, or that the dotted-rhythm of it was unusual. *shrug* It was in the music, and it was just something else to dance to.

As for corridas... As a set of three steps, which is how I usually encounter it and was taught...no, always even. But that's not to say that five quick steps couldn't have been strung together, or a couple of quick ones interspersed with slower ones...I just don't think I'd call it a corrida in that case.
 
#35
RE: Close Embrace Dancing...

Hi Miles, looking at yoiur Blog it seems that you have now taken the
direction of Close embrace social dancing rather than open as in the past.
Would you comment on when this happened and how and why?
..Also, would you name the cities, in your experience, which have the most
solid Close Embrace style of dancing community? Are you getting support for
your move to CE and which direction do you see the USA going in ? thanks!
Mario,

Thanks for the question. Actually, I am not in favor of one or the other. I consider myself a 'fluid embrace' dancer. My embrace changes as it needs to for what I want to with my partner in time to the music.

I have always been a fluid embrace dancer. You may have witnessed me dancing socially in the past in mostly open embrace. Like all dancers at one point or another we play with what's in front of us...what we're presented with...I was witnessing a lot of both over the last 4 years...and I've integrated both into me.

As to your other questions:

What other US cities have a focus on close embrace dancing....? most of them actually. Portland, Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, Denver, DC, Houston, Baltimore...and yes, believe it or not...San Francisco. Just because Homer is there, doesn't necessarily mean that its all open embrace. Its not.

As for my 'move' to CE:

Obviously. But I expose support for the 'fluid' embrace line of reasoning in my classes and workshops.

As to which direction:

That's anyone's guess Mario. I don't have a crystal ball.

Sincerely,

Miles.
 
#36
Hmm ... interesting .. well I agree with this - up to a point.

I notice you dont mention a couple of other things .. including floorcraft ... lol!... so I will ...

- Setting and location You already like the location. You're fond of the organizers. Ooh look at this nice touch! Before you even have a dance you're happy.

- Floorcraft As a leader you want to feel free on the floor. The guy in front of you isnt moving back into you. He's moving forward at a constant pace. The guy behind you isnt trying to crowd you.
Capt' Jep.

Actually I do mention them. In a different series of posts on the subject!

http://web.archive.org/web/20120320025322/http://barefootango.com/thoughts/floorcraft
http://web.archive.org/web/20120926020002/http://barefootango.com/going-dancing/tango-etiquette
 
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#38
I'd call this a Hijack, but I didn't bring it up...

The "Blues Scale" presented here http://www.jazclass.aust.com/scales/scablu.htm
is by no means indicative of the full range of what is used by people who write and/or play blues, based on W.C. Handy's "St Louis Blues", and "Rock Me Baby" written by Joe Josea and B.B. King (if you want to look those up) or if you want to read a whole lot about blues......
And "Blues Dancing"...
Typical exchange. "So what blues dances do you do?" "Close embrace and open embrace."
Meanwhile, since I've strayed off topic....

Can anyone tell me if they have been taught to split their corridas or traspies unevenly, with a "slow quickquick" feel as is taught at some levels of swing dance?

And quiting AT?
How about being on sabatical?
You can use full scale while playing blues but the there are notes very strongly correlated to our idea of what blues is and sounds like. They're coming off the pentatonic scales where the minor is very very similar to both dorian and aeolian.

Musicians don't restrain themselves to the 5 scale notes but it sure gives you the flavor hitting the 4, 5b, 5 notes :)

Blues dancing is actually a mix of whatever people have learned. I've seen people teach ochos in a blues class... most of the them have come from lindy-hop, swing, etc. it's very abstract in one way.
 
#39
I guess you do but not in this context ..

I think it's worth emphasising : without decent floorcraft around you, it's extremely hard to reach that state of "tango bliss". To me it stands to reason. If you have to worry about the leaders about you then you're not able to give full attention to your partner...
 
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Ampster

Active Member
#40
I guess you do but not in this context ..

I think it's worth emphasising : without decent floorcraft around you, it's extremely hard to reach that state of "tango bliss". To me it stands to reason. If you have to worry about the leaders about you then you're not able to give full attention to your partner...
Not necessarily. Accept that you will cope with bad navigation from others around you as a normal part of the experience. You incorporate that into your repertoire of tango skills. You still pay full attention to your partner... DESPITE of those around you.
 

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