Salsa Dancing and Meeting People

Do you consider Dancing an Active or Passive Place to meet people?

  • Active (Yeah I can approach, chat someone up, date, or whatever. Just have fun its dancing)

    Votes: 6 75.0%
  • Passive (People play tennis or baking as a hobby. Dancing is just that - a past time, not eharmony).

    Votes: 2 25.0%

  • Total voters
Hello Everyone!

I am a new member here and excited to share my advice and ask questions. I am very much a beginner to the dance scene (less than 5 months). I'm 5'6"-6.5", male, a software engineer by day, and have been learning since Oct 2015.

I started salsa lesson in DC and have been loving it. Recently started Bachata. Now my question is for mostly the guys, but the female perspective DOES help here a lot. How do you approach salsa dancing and dating?

--------DISCLAIMER: I LIKE DANCING FOR DANCING. I've gone to the venue for over 40 lessons danced with any women and mainly cared about dancing. I've even danced with the instructor (guy) who makes an amazing follow! Point being I care about dancing and its fun no matter what.--

However obviously doing this as a guy - you will meet people. Some girls you meet may be total beginners to experts. So a couple of QUESTIONS emerge:

1) Does a decent dance signal a connection? or a REALLY GOOD dance? The better dancer I become - should I ignore chemistry more and more?

2) I notice if the girl has been dancing for a while - she does a really good job and sometimes honestly leads me lol. Like on a turn or move - she gets what Im trying to do and goes ahead. Its awesome! Is this normal?

3) If I do meet a nice girl and we "hit it off" in convo - Should I ask her out? or assume shes just being a personable dancer? I mean it gets confusing since with Bachata its super close and experienced Bachata follows make a simple body roll look like sex.

4) Do you make friends with everyone and just have a good time? Or do you date the dance floor? The former strategy seems better if you have a long term interest in the place and wanna avoid drama. But then its no fun :D jk.

5) Lets say you meet a great girl and its HER FIRST TIME to the place or to DANCING. This is super exciting for me because they are much more understanding of my beginner stance and are willing to work with me on moves and trying stuff. I LOVE beginners for this reason. In addition if I have romantic interest in her its much more fun (but as I said earlier dancing is already fun). Main question: Do you let her dance with others or ask if she wants to dance with others?

6) I had a situation where I hit it off with someone, but then I didn't want to "crowd" her. So I got her number and bid adew - she seemed sad/hurt. Another time I wanted to keep dancing with a girl I met, but she politely indicated she wanted to dance with more ppl and (better leads - this is fine since I am new to dancing). How can I read the situation better? Should I just ask "Do you want to dance with others?" That feels odd since we just met and shes free to do so.

7) I feel the line blurs more with Bachata than Salsa. Salsa was chill, almost like a formal conversation. Not sure how to proceed with Bachata. Thoughts?

-----------------------The main reason I ask this is because I want to do this right. When I started learning salsa I was getting over a relationship so I didnt really look at girls romantically - more so as follows and people to learn from. However a few months later after being single Im ready to get out there. But I dont want to lose a hobby or approach is wrong.-----------------------------

Thanks for your time! :)


Well-Known Member
Somewhere in the middle for me... Sometimes you meet someone and it's just a great connection. The fact that he dances only makes it easier for him.
Never try to forbid her or even ask her "Do you want to dance with others" you must let her free. If you want her to dance only with you, DO NOT GO to a social party. Invite her home for dinner and dancing.
Also if you want to see if she likes you. Dance bachata with her, see how close and sensual she will dance with you (skills and experience are not important in this) Then notice how she will dance bachata with other guys and compare!


My advice would be to just be yourself and don't try to make things happen. Things are going to happen naturally if you just keep getting out there and enjoying yourself.

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