Don't worry, Macmoto... When I started this thread, I had had one of those dancing days when nothing really worked out!
Usually I am ok dancing with the 2-3 guys who invite me or get invited by me... there is not much Salsa played in our club, so I don't sit too much... only on Merengue...
You know I sometimes get wrapped up in dance after dance and forget. If I enjoy dancing with a person, really enjoy dancing with them, they get an open invitation. I ask them if they are free to come and grab me. I love dancing with them and I'll dance with them anytime. My question is what do you need? The dance or to be asked? Which is more important? I know follows with this issue too and I've converted thm to asking so that they can get their dance fix. What can I say to help you get there?
Yes, I think the situation is similar anywhere where there are more females than males in the scene. In Squirrel's case, there is an extra complication in that she is not only a woman in a follower-heavy scene but also a salsa instructor, which means that guys see her differently from other women, and that she does need to make an extra effort to make them feel like asking her to dance...
I have been with you to the salsa scene in Bucharest and know a little bit about it from your perspective. Could it be that it has become too competitive and the good male dancers are more concerned about the competition issue than about having fun with another good dancer? Could it be that they all see you as competitor rather than good follower? You know also that many guys have that ego problem, especially when they are instructors, too, and fear that you might notice their flaws when dancing with them. That might be the reason why they do not ask you.
And, as others suggested, do not give them advice on the dancefloor when they do not ask you for it. They do not appreciate it and do certainly not consider it fun.
The competition issue is not typical for your scene, though, it is everywhere now.
I have enjoyed reading this thread and all the good advice from all of you others to Raluca.
I have been with you to the salsa scene in Bucharest and know a little bit about it from your perspective. Could it be that it has become too competitive and the good male dancers are more concerned about the competition issue than about having fun with another good dancer? Could it be that they all see you as competitor rather than good follower?
Oh. I understand now. That's sad.
It's such a shame how ego and rivalry can spoil something that can be beautiful and fun... I wish there was a good solution for the problem -- all we individuals can do is to make sure we don't get sucked into it, I suppose.
That's where our Ten Commandments come in. Spread the words, DF salser@s!