The Art of Giving Out Your Number

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
#81
clave said:
brujo said:
Why can't friends have sex?
You certainly can have sex with a friend, but then you're not just friends anymore. It's complicated by your physiology no matter what the fashionable metrosexual crowd leads you to believe. Do a google search for "oxytocin vasopressin".
Really? hmmm...|
 
#82
clave said:
brujo said:
Why can't friends have sex?
You certainly can have sex with a friend, but then you're not just friends anymore. It's complicated by your physiology no matter what the fashionable metrosexual crowd leads you to believe. Do a google search for "oxytocin vasopressin".
Awesome! Didn't know I can learn something about biology and chemistry on this board! :)
 
#85
itorres said:
...and how about them expecting you to buy them drinks all night? :roll:
Is this a date or are we salsa buddies? These are sort of cultural things that transcend On 1, On 2, NY, LA, PR styles. :)
Neither, a sucker! :lol:
 
#87
It's been most amusing reading this thread.

Like in any form of communication in life there is some degree of risk.

You can blunder around like a beginner with fixed ideas of how things should *be* and that things only mean one thing or you can learn, adapt and play with the lead and follow, exchanging rolls from time to time, flirt with danger and have fun to the music of life yet try to be clear and communicate what you want out of your relationship.

I think that goes for on and off the dance floor.

Just make sure you don't press the heal down when you step on his toes to make your point, that really hurts! :twisted: :lol:
 
#88
blossomingsalsadancer said:
I have given my number out to men who as a whole, I danced with more than once, who I danced well with, who were polite and were not making passes at me and who asked for my number casually instead of aggressively. ... there's an implicit understanding that we're free to dance with everyone else, that I don't expect him to pay for anything for me and that the night isn't a "date." We often discuss how nice it is to have a "safety net" partner when you first arrive at the club so that you can get your dancing legs on or sometimes, just demonstrate to people that you know how to dance (which makes it easier for him to get dances later and easier for me to be asked to dance). ...

... The question is this: how do I ensure that when I give out my number to a seemingly friendly salsero that it is understood that I only want friendship? Are there magic words to say? Are there critera (aside from the ones I cited above) that I should look for to weed out the Don Juans? Does the very act of giving out my number inherently send mixed signals to a salsero?

Is Harry (from When Harry Met Sally) right when he said "men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

I would love to hear the male perspective here and to hear advice from women who have been through a similar dilemma.
Interesting thread (and great title 8) ). Speaking from the Swing (not Salsa) scene, I can recognise the problem.

If you gave me your number, I wouldn't know that you only want friendship (unless you explicitly stated it), but I might be able to guess from my knowledge of you, and the way you talked to me when giving me your number.

I don't agree that men and women can't be ('just') friends. In my dance scene, there are some men and women who hang around together happily as friends. But I think each combination of people is different, just as each dance relationship is different.

8)
 
#89
Hmmm...

Interesting view of what us, over here, might refer to as "the Western mentality"... so different from ours...

We are warm people, we love having fun and making friends... women over here love it when men try to date them (even if they have no particular interest in those men). In my club, you won't see "Salsera no. 1) T-shirts. But you'll see a lot of sexi clothing and almost naked girls dancing around.

I usually go out dressed nicely... and this doesn't include T-shirts and loose jeans. It includes tight jeans and sexi tops and short skirts... :)

I have a boyfriend, but I love it when men make passes at me. It just means I am desirable. If they cross the line, they get slapped (verbally usually, but I would not exclude the "physical correction" when needed).

I am a Salsa dancer and instructor. I love dancing and I give out my phone number to all. Yes, I've had guys call me and ask me out. And I said no. So what? Big deal.

I am not familiar with your scenes... but here, my Salsa buddies are my buddies outside the dance floor as well. We share a mutual interest, our love for Salsa. We go to movies and barbeques together, we go to the seaside and the mountains in trips... :) And we stay at the same table in the club.

Maybe we're weird... :)
 
#90
squirrel said:
We are warm people, we love having fun and making friends... women over here love it when men try to date them (even if they have no particular interest in those men). In my club, you won't see "Salsera no. 1) T-shirts. But you'll see a lot of sexi clothing and almost naked girls dancing around.
:shock:
Is there a Bucharest Salsa Congress? Where do I sign up? :D
I usually go out dressed nicely... and this doesn't include T-shirts and loose jeans. It includes tight jeans and sexi tops and short skirts... :)

I have a boyfriend,
:cry:
but I love it when men make passes at me. It just means I am desirable. If they cross the line, they get slapped (verbally usually, but I would not exclude the "physical correction" when needed).

I am a Salsa dancer and instructor. I love dancing and I give out my phone number to all. Yes, I've had guys call me and ask me out. And I said no. So what?
Broken hearts? :cry:
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
#92
The thread does seem to have evolved. I agree. 8) But maybe the original poster wanted to know specifically about the salsa scene, which does seem to have its own etiquette. *shrug* Not the OP's fault if people from all dance backgrounds respond to these threads. :? 8)
 

Vin

New Member
#93
Freindship track:
1) Meet/Dance
2) Spend a few weeks seeing each other in the clubs, dancing occasionally
3) Exchange numbers
4) arrange to be at same club
5) go for after/pre-salsa activity
6) occasionally carpool
7) Start doing non-salsa activities

Non-friendship track
1) Meet/Dance
2) Spend a few weeks seeing each other in the clubs, dancing occasionally
3) Exchange numbers/invite for non-salsa activity
4) Do non-salsa activity

This doesn't help your situation but for the guys, I try and make my intentions clear when I am interested in dating a woman in the scene. I invite her to do something non-salsa related and then as a sidenote I get her number. You see these women 2-3 times a week what's the point of getting her number first. Chances are your going to wonder whether you should call right away or after x amount of days and by the time x-amount of days has gone by you have seen her again.
 

luh

Active Member
#94
pygmalion said:
The thread does seem to have evolved. I agree. 8) But maybe the original poster wanted to know specifically about the salsa scene, which does seem to have its own etiquette. *shrug* Not the OP's fault if people from all dance backgrounds respond to these threads. :? 8)
that's the problem, it's not specified in the active topics.
I get the feeling that often there are threads i'd like to answer, but i always have a little not to take down "but, i'm don't do ballroom/salsa - so it might be different"
luh
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
#95
Yeah. Different dance scenes have a lot of overlap, but some things are unique. Sometimes it's hard to tell which threads to answer and in which ones to just lurk. :?
 

luh

Active Member
#96
pygmalion said:
Yeah. Different dance scenes have a lot of overlap, but some things are unique. Sometimes it's hard to tell which threads to answer and in which ones to just lurk. :?
you seem to answer in each one :D
luh
 
#97
Vin said:
Freindship track:
1) Meet/Dance
2) Spend a few weeks seeing each other in the clubs, dancing occasionally
3) Exchange numbers
4) arrange to be at same club
5) go for after/pre-salsa activity
6) occasionally carpool
7) Start doing non-salsa activities

Non-friendship track
1) Meet/Dance
2) Spend a few weeks seeing each other in the clubs, dancing occasionally
3) Exchange numbers/invite for non-salsa activity
4) Do non-salsa activity

This doesn't help your situation but for the guys, I try and make my intentions clear when I am interested in dating a woman in the scene. I invite her to do something non-salsa related and then as a sidenote I get her number. You see these women 2-3 times a week what's the point of getting her number first. Chances are your going to wonder whether you should call right away or after x amount of days and by the time x-amount of days has gone by you have seen her again.
Both the tracks seem to me to be almost the same; the first has a couple of extra things (arranging to meet at the same club, and carpooling), which could happen in the second track if they're regulars at the same club. If you leave out "doing non-salsa activity" in the non-friendship track, the difference might be more prominent. Once numbers are exchanged and we're doing non-salsa activities, I consider us friends and not just salsa buddies, although salsa is the first thing we've in common. There are others that I dance with quite regularly if we happen to be at the same clubs, but we don't exchange numbers and don't hang out outside salsa clubs.
 
#98
pygmalion said:
The thread does seem to have evolved. I agree. 8) But maybe the original poster wanted to know specifically about the salsa scene, which does seem to have its own etiquette. *shrug* Not the OP's fault if people from all dance backgrounds respond to these threads. :? 8)
You must have the shoulder of a swimmer from all the "shrugging" you do pretty much every post :wink: . I wonder if you shrug a lot outside the virtual world.
 
#99
kdogg said:
pygmalion said:
The thread does seem to have evolved. I agree. 8) But maybe the original poster wanted to know specifically about the salsa scene, which does seem to have its own etiquette. *shrug* Not the OP's fault if people from all dance backgrounds respond to these threads. :? 8)
You must have the shoulder of a swimmer from all the "shrugging" you do pretty much every post :wink: . I wonder if you shrug a lot outside the virtual world.
hahahahahahaha!

thanks kdogg :D
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
africana said:
kdogg said:
pygmalion said:
The thread does seem to have evolved. I agree. 8) But maybe the original poster wanted to know specifically about the salsa scene, which does seem to have its own etiquette. *shrug* Not the OP's fault if people from all dance backgrounds respond to these threads. :? 8)
You must have the shoulder of a swimmer from all the "shrugging" you do pretty much every post :wink: . I wonder if you shrug a lot outside the virtual world.
hahahahahahaha!

thanks kdogg :D
:)
 

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