The voices told me the same thing... and convinced me to skip practice (just solo, no one was left hanging!) last night to hang out on my couch, drink large amounts of orange juice and tea, and go to bed ridiculously early.
They were also right. This morning, things are much improved.
I am so fortunate to be able to do this wonderful dancesport as a hobby, to have such a great teacher, a support group of ballroom dancers and dance forum friends... many who I know and consider friends as well. The voices in my head are how wonderful all of this is!
I could of redecorate my kitchen, have the best Metropolitan Opera sits , go skiing every weekend and buy the newest skis and boots , and spend 2 months on luxury trip to Europe – but , again, today is my dance lesson…and then there is a showcase… and all those other things can wait
lol...I just look at my poor sad kitchen and my poor sad carpeting, and my deck that is sure to rot out from underneath me soon, and then there is the matter of how many starving people I could feed....I haven't even gotten to considering the luxuries, but I do that those moments where I contemplate this stuff...that being said, I also know how restless and sad I am after two weeks without a lesson...still, there may come a day when the extent to which I am doing this probably needs to be re-visited...but probably only when my pro retires or I break something
right...I sort of weigh what I need to do based upon how lingering the lack of motivation happens to be.....I am almost always ready for a month off in December....there are also times when I might have two or three weeks when I am not feeling it...I have sort of made myself a promise that if I ever go two months where I am not at all interested, I need to do something about it...I think most of the time it is simply a matter of having exhausted all of my internal resources....usually a consequence of being the only person who truly cares whether I do this or not...so if I need to get tough, I have to find that inside, if I need to be consoled, I have to do that for myself, if I am tired and sore, no one is playing the small violin for me....shrug...currently have allergies or a cold and have rolled my ankle...so practice will have to wait til tomorrow...sometimes the hardest thing to do is to trust the rhythm of life
I think about finances too... but working in the healthfield, when I see others facing serious illnesses, I ask myself, what is important to me, what brings greater joy to my life... a new carpet or to dance.... and the answer is always... to dance! I think if the answer ever becomes... well, I really would prefer a new carpet, or car, or that trip to Greece... then I will have to reconsider. No matter what kind of day I am having, or week, dance becomes my safe haven, my time to shut the rest of the world out. So for now, it is worth it, though I share in the same thoughts at times about the outrageous expenses.
exactly...having worked for hospice for 10 years is exactly what led me to ballroom...in fact, my boss was a ballroom dancer and my first exposure to ballroom was when Andre Tiabut (former partner to Anna Mikhed) passed away and my boss asked me to call their home studio to simply offer some grief info....then, when it came time to get dh a b-day gift...because he had always wanted to learn to dance to big bands, my mind went right back to that studio...the rest is history...and while no one will ever be impressed by my home, or possibly even by my dancing, I do not regret the choice...but I am open to wherever life leads me...for now, it leads me to indianapolis
Oh, exactly. I don't for a moment regret the cost of dance. Sometimes I just question my ability to ever dance well. It's funny; I look out my window at Pikes Peak and chide my neighbors for never challenging themselves to hike that mountain (and a challenge it is. Ain't no oxygen at 14000 feet.) "How can you look at it every day and not feel drawn to hike to the top?" I guess dance is like that for me, too. The mental preparation is so far removed from my daily life; I'm a general, for goodness sake. We are an extremely reserved bunch. we don't put our emotions on the line for all to see. We lead your sons and daughters into harm's way. That's the Pikes Peak challenge for me. Drawing on my inner female to display the emotion of the music through my body. How can I listen to music and not feel drawn to dance??? Do I look stupid? Sometimes. But do I regret the time, money, blood, sweat, and tears? Never.
And now back to my inner voices and sometimes inner demons...today they told me, "Hey, parts of that didn't stink!"