Went on a date with someone from dance, I need some advice

hey he's a 21 year old i'm impressed the last one lasted so long!
I sort of guessed that - since I am a bit older :cool: I've forgotten what its like to be that age and am genuinely interested in reconnecting. Relatinships seem to last longer and longer the older you get and now its hard to imagine locking onto someone and then immediately thereafter locking onto someone else but I'm sure I did it too...
Just out of curiousity, how many girls do you get attracted to per month? Also, whats the longest time you have been in a relationship - if you don't mind me ansking that is. :)
Actually I could name at least 5 or 6 girls off the top of my head I would go on dates with. (Some have boyfriends already though) I know a girl that would go on a date on Friday, see a different guy Saturday, and another Sunday. No she wasn't sleeping with them just keeping her options open.

Being in college (Well when Fall comes around) I see different girls I am attracted to everyday. With that being said, there is currently three girls I have my eye on. The girl in the bookstore, this girl that gave me her number from the gym (Haven't gone out with her yet suppose to be weekend after this one... but she just got out of a 3 year relationship so unsure of how things will go), and the girl I am posting about.

The girl from dance (Ashley) I do/did like the most (Simply because I know about her and her personality then the other two) but if she doesn't like me I am not going to become depressed and not go out with other people. It is sort of that saying if you fall off the horse get right back on it.

The reason I am still posting about her is because I am unsure of what to do still. I would like things to work out or at least stay friends. Honestly what bugs me is I have no idea what happend.

The funny things are:

1) We've known each other at least a year so there wasn't really any personality conflicts.

2) I remember when I first made a myspace she was like the first one to add me (And I never told her I made one or was making one...), this was back in May

3) She was kind of the one to suggest we go out. I had text her that particular day and was talking to her and she told me she was tired and then asked what I was doing tomorrow. I told her I had no plans and she was asking if I wanted to go to a movie...

With that being said, I wasn't really the aggressor in this case and that makes me wonder just what happend that could make a person act so different. I could recap the entire date in detail but then we'd just have more speculation. (Unless someone REALLY wants to know which I will share I don't care)

I do kind of want to talk to her, in case something perhaps became misinterpreted, and there is a part of me that doesn't for (Like I said earlier) appearing weak or something of that nature.

So yeah still confused :)
Young girls change their minds for all sorts of daft reasons. I wouldn't over analyse what you said and did, it'll not help.
here is a list of reasons my pals and i have 'gone off' guys after a date or two:
-he is keen (well duh.. he asked you out you freak girl.)
-his trousers were too short
-his trousers were too tight
- he wore a waistcoat
-his shoes were horrible
-he was pigeon toed
-don't like his laugh
-don't like his new hair cut
-realised there's nothing in common and that can override initial attraction.
-he started talking about his best friend- the big J
-he likes computers
etc etc etc

these are all stupid reasons but ones that have been cited by people I know... it's not you, it's her, girls can get hung up on the most stupid things.


Well-Known Member
some mums don't deliver important advice like that. alas. :)

most of the men i've been involved with have presented themselves very well, tho. i'm more inclined to not pursue something because the chemistry isn't right... or the emotional availability...

bad kissing is an instant killer...:cool:
I don't remember, but Meryl Streep played the mum whose dingo was eaten by a baby. ;)
Are you thinking of 'Out of Africa'. But wasn't it the othe rway round (I don't remember that bit - more thoughts of a snake that ate her son... Humans are good eatin' in africa apparently.
With that being said, I wasn't really the aggressor in this case and that makes me wonder just what happend that could make a person act so different. I could recap the entire date in detail but then we'd just have more speculation. (Unless someone REALLY wants to know which I will share I don't care)
I think the answer is quite simple. Many women are only attracted to the difficult to attain (sometimes to the totally impossible). it may be a defense mechanism to protect from too many pre-bonding relationships. When she expressed interest in you, you 'should' have been dispassionalte. I said 'should' because that was the way to keep her interested. However, what you did was to reciprocate the interest - removing the 'unattainable' aspect and causing her to look elsewhere. IN fact, what you achieved was to signal to her very quickly what kind of person you are - feigning a dispassionate attitude may have secured the girl but it would have been dishonest and would almost certainly have led to the same result in a longer time.

A while ago I suggested that you just call her up and tell her you like her. she would have run a mile and you could have gone on with your life looking for other interesting women. Eventually, you will meet a woman who, when she expresses interest and you reciprocate will lead to a mutual increase in affection - and then you will be on track for a, sorry to say it, 'real' relationship. By the way, although it may sound hackneyed, a real relationship where you are honest and where you trust and are trusted is one of hte most amazing experiences that human beings are capable of. You are a decent person and I am quite sure that this will happen in time - when YOU (not the women) are ready for it.

Sorry for the long lecture! But maybe you should look a bit deeper into the woman than you are at the moment?


Well-Known Member
*grin - sigh* you guys are too much - exactly how does a nun whose dingo was eaten by a baby help Backstreet?

Backstreet, regarding the girl in dance class - just go on as you are. My only advice to you would be - be yourself - friendly, but don't impose upon her. If she'd like to have further contact she will sooner or later come to you.

And as far as what happened? At this age (sorry but 21 seems an age ago for me) it could be anything - rational OR irrational. I don't think I started thinking straight until my late 20's - sorry.
AKA the toilet-bidet combo. The damn thing always goes off before you stand up and if you are too slow....

AKA stale bread.

Mankind is truly amazing.
You just need a sharp knife and it doesn't matter how stale it is. Applies to relationships as well. Well, maybe not.:) But the point is that it could apply...

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