This is partly for fun, partly based on various responses I've overheard or gotten myself.
- Canaro - Canaro was a sellout, and you're a sellout for liking him. I bet you love Starbucks and watching reruns of Friends.
- D'arienzo - If you need the beat screamed at you and hate layers, sure. You must be a beginner.
- Di Sarli - This is what orchestra people say when they don't know what to say. Boring and predictable.
- Troilo - A hipster's answer. You're trying to appear knowledgeable and as an advanced dancer. You pretend to "get" Troilo and talk about his "nuanced layers." Your ruse isn't fooling anyone.
- Pugliese - Of course you like Pugliese. Everyone likes Pugliese. I bet you also loooove gaunchos and volcadas, and the beat is a mystery to you.
- Biagi - You like to memorize strange beat patterns then make your partner feel bad when they "can't follow/lead them."
- Donato - Do you even understand what tango is about? It's about soul-crushing sadness, not all this silly happy, upbeat mess.
- Fresedo - Worse than Donato. I don't want to get diabetes while I dance.
- Tanturi/Calo/Demare - This answer is actually acceptable.
- Laurenz - What, did you listen to Alma de Bohemio once?
- De Angelis - I hope you're joking. How can you stand those violins? It's like sucking on a lemon.
- OTV/De Caro/Firpo/Lomuto - Aw, grandpa over here loves to tango, if by "tango" you mean shuffling around the floor for 12 minutes.
- D'Agostino - All of his music sounds the same. Your typical breakfast is unbuttered toast with plain oatmeal, and you like to tell stories no one cares about.
- Rodriguez - You know he's almost never played in Buenos Aires right?
- Piazzolla - Get out.