What's "Right and Wrong" at a Milonga?

#1
If you haven't noticed by now, I have opinions about many things. I'm not always right, and sometimes I like to "bounce my thoughts" off of others to see if I'm valid in my feelings, etc...

I realize that everyone has to make a living, and we all pad our pocketbooks in different ways. However, I don't like the idea of someone trying to "chat me up" to sell me something. I'm specifically talking about multi-level marketing programs such as Mary Kay and Nerium.

I come to a milonga to socialize, have a glass of wine, and hopefully dance some beautiful tandas.

However, this has happened to me twice at a milonga - once in El Paso, and once recently at the Albuquerque Tango Festival. You're probably going to say, "Just say no." However, it's not always that easy. I was a teacher, and it's inbred in me to be nice and listen to people. It's obviously a flaw in my personality. I don't want to be rude, so I sit and listen to the sales pitch.

The women who sells Nerium was "working the room" when she wasn't dancing. Wait a minute, maybe she was working it when she WAS dancing. At one afternoon milonga she wore her sparkly Nerium tee shirt and was busy talking to anyone who would listen and handing out business cards.

Am I just being too "crazy" and judgmental? Sorry for the vent...
 

tangomaniac

Active Member
#2
Say "give me your business card and I'll call AFTER the milonga because I'm here to dance." An alternative is report this person to the milonga promoter.
 

tangomaniac

Active Member
#4
Thanks - that's a good politically correct way to not hurt feelings, but still enjoy the milonga. Thanks!
Here's a better one. "I want to see the permit from the promoter authorizing you to sell merchandise during the milonga." That will probably strike some fear into the other person because the woman probably doesn't have one. I can't believe a promoter would authorize somebody to harass patrons at a milonga. Even people who sell shoes at milongas don't harass patrons.
 
#10
I don't think even people should be _chatting_ (except to their partner between songs in a tanda) at a milonga, but around here that's a minority opinion. I think people should be at a milonga to _watch_ the dancing, to _listen_ to the music, and _hopefully dance_ a few good tandas. I personally wouldn't say anything to this person if they approach you - simply carry on with your 'cabeceoing' (or scanning the room for potential partners).

(Or go outside the dance area - outside, the kitchen, the toilets etc.)
 

twnkltoz

Well-Known Member
#11
I would be highly annoyed by this. I also get annoyed when people pm me on facebook or post links on my timeline to sell their stuff. I'm there to be social, not receive sales pitches.
 
#12
I don't think even people should be _chatting_ (except to their partner between songs in a tanda) at a milonga, but around here that's a minority opinion. I personally wouldn't say anything to this person if they approach you - simply carry on with your 'cabeceoing' (or scanning the room for potential partners).
Cabeceoing? The milongas I've gone to are dark so cabeceo is just about impossible. Promoters think darkness brings ambience, not the music nor partner. Very few people know about cabeceo. Some women think I have a twitch in my neck.
 

Lui

Active Member
#13
Brute force selling is not the best way to establish a sustainable customer base. I think there is a good chance that the “market” will take care of that lady.

Never the less, it’s like the hydra’s head. If one is gone two new will show up

When dealing with customers, vendors and all kind of people Marshall Rosenberg’s “Non violent Communications” has helped me a lot. Considering instantly, how I want the situation to resolve - instead of being angry - is still tough, though.
 

jantango

Active Member
#14
Sales pitches at a milonga are completely inappropriate. She is an aggressive salesperson who wasn't getting enough business outside, so she moved inside.

Two young foreign women attended a milonga in BsAs. One came to my table and asked to interview me for a course she's taking at a local university. I told her I was here to dance. I gave her my phone number and told her when to call the next day. She did. An interview during the milonga is not appropriate. Conversations at the table disrupt the atmosphere of the milonga for everyone. It's a social environment for dancing, not catching up with friends at the table. Many forget that and think nothing about talking loudly even while standing on the edge of the dance floor.
 

Lui

Active Member
#15
Jan, I think you handled the situation very though- and respectful. Talking loudly at the edge of anything is probably always a bad idea. I respect the people, who visit a milonga to submerge in tango only.

Nevertheless, even in Buenos Aires, many native people come to meet other people. Therefor a quite chat among friends is never out of place, in my opinion. This “mysterious lone stranger”-approach will not only make the hardliners miss a lot of fun, it is outride ridiculous, if all the “strangers” know each other for more than 10 years.
 
#16
Cabeceoing? The milongas I've gone to are dark so cabeceo is just about impossible. Promoters think darkness brings ambience, not the music nor partner. Very few people know about cabeceo. Some women think I have a twitch in my neck.
Hah! What you need is an LED torch and some kind of code.
 

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