Where are the men to tango with at my beautiful 64 years of age? :)

Steve Pastor

Moderator
Staff member
#41
Usually, one rejection is enough to know that she is not interested in you.
Agree. It's on them if they want to dance with me sometime in the future.
A hot woman is a completely different case.
Not.

You need to learn better how to feel their movement.
Perhaps, but what I don't want in AT is someone out there doing the steps I lead but leaving me with a feeling that they are constantly retreating from me.
 

dchester

Moderator
Staff member
#42
Then how many rejections can you tolerate? 2, 3, 4?

Do you approach again and again 10 times an unpopular lady who sits through a milonga and rejects almost everybody when you can approach 10 other ladies?

Usually, one rejection is enough to know that she is not interested in you.
A hot woman is a completely different case.
Are you talking about 10 times in a single milonga, or 10 times over a few years?

Why is a hot woman a different case for you? It's not for me.

 

Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
#43
There is no contradiction.

The best followers are the tiniest.
Again.. disagree. Small and/or thin women can have abyssmal technique and larger /taller women can have impeccable technique.

I've also found, at least in my part of the world, that the average female tango dancer is more fit than the national average for women. But within the subset of "people who regularly dance tango and put effort into being as good as they can", there is no correlation between body weight and skill.

Plus, the amount of resistance given to the leader is usually more an effect of instruction rather than experience. Some teachers encourage light-as-a-feather connections. Others teachers instruct to give substantial resistance.

The best followers, whom I've met, were ballerinas, like the topic's author. They felt all my slightest intentions.
If they feel your slightest intentions and are responsive in moving to them, then they aren't resisting. If you have to give more obvious intent, then doesn't that mean more resistance (or they would have moved already). But you like resistance. So your posts sound contradictory.

If your 80-year-old lady is a ballerina and she has been using ballet exercises through all her life, she should be very good.
Nope... never took ballet.

I just wanted to mention that some women should spend more time on learning how to follow instead of memorizing steps. Also they should exercise and develop muscles.
Well, yes. Of course, the reverse is also true... leaders need to spend more time learning how to lead and improvise instead of just learning step patterns and then wondering why the follower who wasn't in the class where the pattern was taught didn't figure out what the lead was.

Also they should exercise and develop muscles.
You don't need exercise and muscles to dance social tango, especially a traditional form that is intimate and small. A minimum amount of strength is plenty. If our 80+ year old who could break every bone in her body just stepping the wrong way can do it, anyone can.

It's about technique, not physique.
 

Mladenac

Well-Known Member
#44
The teacher said:
"They are where you put them.. it's not your job to move them there.. it's their job to move themselves. You need to learn better how to feel their movement"
It's opinion of that teacher from the message I couldn't realize if the teacher is a leader or follower.

If leader is too light for the follower then the leading is unclear.
If the follower is too light for the leader then the following is unclear.

Dancers need to learn what is most comfortable to their partners and adjust themselves accordingly.
 
#45
Wow, so if a woman is "hot", it is OK to keep pestering her again and again after she said "no"? I am speechless.
She usually doesn't say, "No!"
She says, "I want to cool down", "Maybe, next tanda", "I don't like this song", "I'm going home soon".

I'm not going to run to another girl when a hot girl says, "I want to rest a little bit". I'll be nearby for sure.
 
#47
She usually doesn't say, "No!"
She says, "I want to cool down", "Maybe, next tanda", "I don't like this song", "I'm going home soon".

I'm not going to run to another girl when a hot girl says, "I want to rest a little bit". I'll be nearby for sure.
Well maybe you should. ;)
In our neck of the woods that kind of hanging around is called "babysitting", and it is a big no-no.
 

Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
#48
She usually doesn't say, "No!"
She says, "I want to cool down", "Maybe, next tanda", "I don't like this song", "I'm going home soon".

I'm not going to run to another girl when a hot girl says, "I want to rest a little bit". I'll be nearby for sure.
These are all things that may be true... or they may be a way for the follower to avoid dancing with someone despite being uncomfortable outright rejecting people.

Many followers don't know how to say "No", even when they want to say "No."

If you get these answers a lot (especially from the same woman) chances are that you are being rejected.
 
#49
Again.. disagree. Small and/or thin women can have abyssmal technique and larger /taller women can have impeccable technique.

I've also found, at least in my part of the world, that the average female tango dancer is more fit than the national average for women. But within the subset of "people who regularly dance tango and put effort into being as good as they can", there is no correlation between body weight and skill.
I regularly dance with 120lb Asian girls. Everything works with them.

Then 200lb women ask me. They don't feel lead at all. I have to push them, I can't rotate them. They blame me.
Actually, they just sit the whole night.
 
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#50
Well maybe you should. ;)
In our neck of the woods that kind of hanging around is called "babysitting", and it is a big no-no.
I use such a thing when I'm a stranger at a milonga, especially, in a different city.

You have to be pushy if you want to get some nice girls. They are more likely to dance with their friends.
One time only is Ok.
 
#54
OK, so, according to you, if a woman is pretty and nice, it is OK to disrespect her wishes and her boundaries once in a while?
Who is going to pester her if she says, "No"?
If she says, "Maybe, the next tanda", I should use my chance. I may not come to that milonga in years.

If it's my local milonga, I don't care about female strangers who come from other places; especially, if they are over 50. They can sit and say "No" as much as they wish.
I have plenty of familiar girls who go to classes with me and who always say "Yes". And some are over 50.
 
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Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
#55
If it's my local milonga, I don't care about female strangers who come from other places; especially, if they are over 50. They can sit and say "No" as much as they wish.
I have plenty of familiar girls who go to classes with me and who always say "Yes". And some are over 50.
Your ageist attitude is becoming tiresome. How do you even know the age of these people you are judging? What's so special about 50? What about 48? What the *%&@! does 50 have to do with anything? Does something change suddenly at 50?

Sheesh.

And yes, I'm over 50. Obviously. But even if I weren't, I'd find your constant harping on it offensive.
 
#57
Your ageist attitude is becoming tiresome. How do you even know the age of these people you are judging? What's so special about 50? What about 48? What the *%&@! does 50 have to do with anything? Does something change suddenly at 50?
It's not my attitude.

Have you been to milongas lately?
Have you noticed that young pretty ladies almost never rest getting invitations all the time?

Can you imagine a topic like this?
"I'm a pretty Latina at my beautiful age of 24. I'm a ballerina. I've been studying tango for a year. Where can I find men to dance with me?"

You may not know it. But a man may get erotic sensations dancing with a young beautiful lady.
 

Mladenac

Well-Known Member
#59
I regularly dance with 120lb Asian girls. Everything works with them.

Then 200lb women ask me. They don't feel lead at all. I have to push them, I can't rotate them. They blame me.
Actually, they just sit the whole night.
If they don't feel the lead, it means that they are not good enough to feel your tender leading.
It's seems that you are not willing to adapt to the partner.

It's seems the more problematic is that they are 200lbs and you didn't say about their skin colour.
200lbs and Asian is oxymoron?
 

Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
#60
It's not my attitude.

Have you been to milongas lately?
Have you noticed that young pretty ladies almost never rest getting invitations all the time?

Can you imagine a topic like this?
"I'm a pretty Latina at my beautiful age of 24. I'm a ballerina. I've been studying tango for a year. Where can I find men to dance with me?"

You may not know it. But a man may get erotic sensations dancing with a young beautiful lady.
You didn't answer my question about what's so special about 50 or how you know the age of these women.

It seems you view only extremes...
120lbs vs 200lbs.
24 vs over 50
Followers who "can't dance" vs followers who feel great.

And yet you are the one who hounds reluctant younger women for dances and have older women flat out refusing. You may be an excellent leader, but from your own words, it's unfortunately easy to assume that you are oblivious to nuance and that you don't adapt at all to your partner, factors which would preclude you from being an excellent leader. I don't get any sense that you feel any obligation to a partner's enjoyment rather than just a sense of entitlement of your own.

These things may not reflect your actual behavior or thinking at all, but you should be aware that your posts read that way. If you project this attitude in person as well, you are doing yourself a disservice.
 

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