Where are the men to tango with at my beautiful 64 years of age? :)

dchester

Moderator
Staff member
#61
You have to try her yourself before giving your opinion about her skills.
I'm guessing English isn't your primary language, as your reply doesn't really have much to do with my question, (which was about what you mean by, "nice girls"). Thus, I suspect you don't realize how some of your posts are coming across, but it's not very good. Hopefully, that's not your intent.
 
#62
I wish to say, it is absolutely OK to find younger/prettier/slimmer women more attractive, and predominantly seek them as prospective dance partners. Everyone who does that is in his own right to do so.
What raises objections here is not that.
It is not OK to suggest that people who one considers unattractive (based on age or weight, whatever mean one uses to measure it) do not deserve the same respect as everyone else, don't have the right to decline a dance without social repercussions, are unable follow/dance, etc.
These things are not true.
If you happen to believe it is true, you are entitled to your opinion... but saying such things out loud in front of an educated society is completely inappropriate.
 
#63
And yet you are the one who hounds reluctant younger women for dances and have older women flat out refusing. You may be an excellent leader, but from your own words, it's unfortunately easy to assume that you are oblivious to nuance and that you don't adapt at all to your partner, factors which would preclude you from being an excellent leader. I don't get any sense that you feel any obligation to a partner's enjoyment rather than just a sense of entitlement of your own.
I can tell you what "being an excellent leader" means.

There are different modes of leading:
* sport - You lead fancy steps and combinations and the follower responds to all of them.
* practice - You lead steps that you've just learned or seen on YouTube, you may not lead them correctly.
* you want the follower to like you - You lead only the steps that she can follow and which you know perfectly well. You lead the steps that she enjoys.
* survival mode - the follower is fat, she can't follow, etc - You lead the simplest steps possible. For example, you lead every step of a molinete, turning the girl strongly.
 
#64
It's seems the more problematic is that they are 200lbs and you didn't say about their skin colour.
200lbs and Asian is oxymoron?
I weigh 157lb. How am I supposed to handle 200lb girls? Why should I care about their skin?
How can I do something like the volcada with her?

There are disproportionately many good Asian dancers at the local milongas. They are slim, they study tango, they are not snobby.
 
#65
You are not supposed to "handle" her. A woman can perfectly sustain her own weight. In a volcada there is a leverage, so you are not supporting all of her weight either. If you do, you don't do it right.... only a very tiny fraction of it, and how much exactly does not depend on how much she weights, more of your respective heights. Besides, it is totally possible to dance without volcadas.
 
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#66
It is not OK to suggest that people who one considers unattractive (based on age or weight, whatever mean one uses to measure it) do not deserve the same respect as everyone else, don't have the right to decline a dance without social repercussions, are unable follow/dance, etc.
These things are not true.
Who said that?

You said that some ladies reject invitations because they have no strength to dance.

If a lady is not your first choice, and you observe her rejecting invitations, why would you bother inviting her?

If she is your first choice, why wouldn't you try to invite her?
 
#67
I can tell you what "being an excellent leader" means.

There are different modes of leading:
* sport - You lead fancy steps and combinations and the follower responds to all of them.
* practice - You lead steps that you've just learned or seen on YouTube, you may not lead them correctly.
* you want the follower to like you - You lead only the steps that she can follow and which you know perfectly well. You lead the steps that she enjoys.
* survival mode - the follower is fat, she can't follow, etc - You lead the simplest steps possible. For example, you lead every step of a molinete, turning the girl strongly.
All mentioned has very little, if anything, to do with the actual process of leading.
 
#68
You said that. I might have misunderstood, but several other members of the board understood your propos the same way.

You said that some ladies reject invitations because they have no strength to dance.
I said they may not have enough strength to dance with a subpar leader, which you suggested they ought to absolutely accept. By strength I mean not physical strength but a strength as a dancer.
 

Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
#70
I weigh 157lb. How am I supposed to handle 200lb girls? Why should I care about their skin?
How can I do something like the volcada with her?

There are disproportionately many good Asian dancers at the local milongas. They are slim, they study tango, they are not snobby.
I lead and I weigh far less than you. 95% of the people I lead weigh more than I do and many are also taller (especially if they are male, but some of the women as well)

I take your point about volcadas, but there are SO many other potential moves to do. Is it so important to do the off-axis ones? Besides, you can do a volcada with barely any lean. I have seen short or light men lead taller or heavier partners in volcadas. Once you are solid on the mechanics, I'll bet it wouldn't matter judging from what I've seen. Colgadas are a different story. Even a smaller follower can create a bad situation in a colgada.

Skin color/Race: YOU brought it up.

When did Snobby enter the conversation? Why are you conflating fat with snobby? Who do you consider snobby? Anyone who won't dance with you?
 

Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
#71
I can tell you what "being an excellent leader" means.

There are different modes of leading:

* practice - You lead steps that you're working on, you may not lead them correctly, but you still keep your partner and everyone else around you safe while trying them and you don't blame your partner when the move doesn't work

* At The Milonga- You lead only the steps that she can follow and which you know perfectly well. You lead the steps that she enjoys and that are safe for everyone on the floor. If something doesn't work as you planned, you deal with it and move on. You adapt to your partner, not only in skill level, but to some extent in style
fixed it for you.

the other 2 have nothing to do with being an excellent leader
 
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DerekWeb

Well-Known Member
#74
I have danced with some very heavy ladies who know how to control their own balance, and some thin ladies that are like pushing weights. You cannot generalize on weight!
 
#75
I thought these videos might be appropriate for the current topic.
Now, compare them to videos of Jorge Torres and his current partner Maria Blanco.

You'll notice that he danced the simplest steps in the survival mode in your video.
He can certainly repeat it with any overweight girl who wants to pay $100/hour.


 

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