Whining Thread #2

FancyFeet

Well-Known Member
I've thought about that. My bank offers them, but there's a lot of associated surcharges.
I don't mean the preloaded, cash guaranteed visa cards. Visa makes actual gift cards...not sure about where you are, but here you can buy them at grocery stores, gas stations, drugstores, etc. Acknowledged though that I may live in a different world ;)
 

cornutt

Well-Known Member
Well, it's not the head gasket after all. The cylinder wall has failed (Porsche owners know of the "D-chunking" problem). The engine is a goner. Looking around for a remanufactured engine, or a pull from a wreck, to put in. A short block from Porsche is $17K so that's not even close to an option.
 

Purr

Well-Known Member
I don't mean the preloaded, cash guaranteed visa cards. Visa makes actual gift cards...not sure about where you are, but here you can buy them at grocery stores, gas stations, drugstores, etc. Acknowledged though that I may live in a different world ;)
I've seen them. I've given this whole thing a lot of thought over the weekend. If I want to buy someone online, like with Amazon, I'll buy a gift card at Kroger or Giant Eagle and use that towards the purchase. That way I'll get the points for gas purchases. I'll use my credit card sparingly to keep it active, with retailers that have chip readers. Otherwise, I'm paying cash, or with groceries, writing a check. My holiday gift shopping is done for the most part, so I don't anticipate any big purchases. My esthetician appointment and hair appointment in December I can plan for. I need to schedule service for my car in December, but it's a newer model so I hopefully won't have any surprises. I'm just done. It's not like I really need anything anyway. I think for 2018, I need to scale back anyway, and use up what I have. I have a linen closet full of personal care products, and a cabinet full of household cleaners. I don't need clothes, unless something is a timeless statement piece that is a "must have"; those are few and far between. The only exception is I need one new pair of jeans, maybe in a smaller size, to replace a pair that has unfashionable holes from too much wear.

Oh, Santa is getting me gift cards for Christmas. I am hoping for AMC theaters (always a winner!) and either Target (practical) or Talbot's (not practical, but good for after Christmas sales for that pair of jeans). A friend is getting me jewelry making supplies from Michael's for Christmas, so I'm set there, and I'm determined to use up beads I already have and not buy more. We're having a Secret Santa gift exchange at work, and there's a sheet posted in the break room where you can gift your Secret Santa suggestions. I need to come up with some ideas, otherwise there's a high likelihood I'll get Bath & Body Works, which I don't need.
 

Purr

Well-Known Member
Oh, an additional whine. I managed to reinjure my hurt toe yesterday. It was bad, and I was limping around. Toe is taped up today, and I am wearing boots; walking is much improved. I figure I'm going to be taping my toe indefinitely until it heals up completely.
 

IndyLady

Well-Known Member
I'm going to put this in the whining thread for now, if the saga continues I may need my own venting thread so as not to clog up this one.

My grandmother just moved to a nursing home/senior living facility a couple months ago, and my father is an emotional mess and has decided he just can't do this anymore, so he wants me to take on management of her finances (so co-trustee and finance POA). They are out of state, which makes this more challenging. He has had a lot of frustration trying to navigate the system (nursing home, banking, etc), as financial things and dealing with people are not his wheelhouse and he's not very resilient.

I've been barraged with texts/emails/calls over the last week, everything is sooooo urgent, and I finally had to set some boundaries today. We've had a lot of conflict in the past, though it's mostly settled the last several years (once he realized I was willing to just walk away or disengage), so I'm surprised it didn't set off WWIII.

Today I'm just completely irritated with the combined helplessness and insistence that I work with the lawyer and the bank to hurry up and fix all this. The attorney e-mailed us 3 forms late yesterday - one for my grandmother to resign as trustee, and one each for my father and I to accept as successor trustees. They require two witnesses and a notary. I've had no fewer than three communications from him basically asking me to get it filled out. One of the blanks on the form is the date that my grandmother is resigning (e.g. the date she signs the form), so I told him I would need to know that date. The response: "Contact [attorney]. I don't know. Let me know what you find out". Seriously? So I replied that Grandma had a form she needed to fill out, and who was taking that to her to sign (knowing full well the answer had to be my father or his wife). It is not clear to me if he didn't realize Gma had a form as well, or has not connected the dots between needing all those dates to line up (it makes no sense for me to accept on Dec 19 if Gma doesn't resign until Dec 22, for example). Oh, and did I mention that he's decided he hates this attorney, is done with him once this paperwork is all settled, and has already made at least one angry phone call to him? Yeah thanks, I'll just clean up that mess too.

Then he sends me an e-mail outlining all the documents he is mailing to me... including an unpaid bill. Again, seriously? I'm not authorized at this time to do anything with her bank accounts (the bank is requiring us to meet in person to fill out all this trustee change paperwork - "I have no other way to verify that it is your signature" - and I don't know yet when I'm going to be taking time to drive up there, esp since it's winter and we're in the Midwest. And I haven't signed/returned the trust or POA paperwork yet, I just got it all last night). I told him to just write the check when he goes to see Gma to fill out the above-mentioned forms, we'll see if that happens. He has it in his head that I'm just going to do everything from now on, even though I told him this morning to hang on to bank stuff, since even going forward as co-trustee, he can also do stuff with the bank accounts (write checks, etc).

Anyways, this is getting too long and rambly so I'll stop here. Grrrrr.
 

IndyLady

Well-Known Member
And.... just like that it's over. (So apologies for the previous long rant).

Heated phone call this morning - he was pouring on the flattery and buttering up while I was agreeing to help, but once I started setting conditions on things I needed in order to proceed* and called out the "dump in my lap and run" dynamic that was happening, it turned into all sorts of excuses and guilt-tripping and gas-lighting ("I'm disappointed in you, you said you would help", blah blah). Nope, not tolerating that.

And you're right Purr... I should have said "no" from the start. But this was instructive. For someone who was complaining about how worn out he was, and his health, and just can't do this, he found a healthy drive and energy to light into me when I wasn't agreeing to do exactly what he wanted.


*Example - his wife set up id/pw/security qstns for bank account. She refused to provide the answers to the security questions (and apparently it was too burdensome for them to go re-set the answers) on the grounds that they contained personal information. So I would have no way to access online banking until I was planning to drive up there to meet in person at the bank.
 

Loki

Well-Known Member
Yeah, if you’re going to do it, it’s sometimes necessary to play the tyrant and tell everybody to p*ss off or you’ll walk. And be prepared to really walk.

Tends to calm ‘em right down IME.
 

Purr

Well-Known Member
Yes, I figure their policy is to automatically dispute fraudulent charge claims. I was appalled that someone could make a reservation for a room in their name, using their mobile number and e-mail address, but because they had my name, address, credit card number and security code on the back for billing, the charge was approved. if it's that easy, then there are probably lots of fraudulent charges out there. I will check back with the security division next week to ensure they received my letter and signed form.

I made a cash withdraw yesterday at my bank for holiday shopping this weekend. I'm not fond of the idea of carrying so much cash around, but I don't know what else to do. I'm not using the card, and I don't want to write checks either. So cash it is. Bring on Kohl's, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond and Barnes & Noble.

No, this doesn't mean mug Purr if you see me on the street. I'm not advertising for that.
Update:

Last week I received a letter from my credit card company notifying me that the disputed charge was removed. I'm not sure who absorbs the charge, which was for a hotel room - either the hotel chain, Priceline, or the credit card company - but since it's not me I don't really care. I'm just glad it's resolved. If this happens again with the new card I know how to handle it. Reduce the complaint about the disputed charge to writing, and quickly file with the credit card company. Follow up via telephone, e-mail or mail as needed. If this hadn't been resolved, I was going to call my state's attorney general's office.

I filed a fraud alert regarding my credit report with one of the three major credit agencies, who alerted the other two major credit agencies. According to the letter from my credit card company, they did something similar.

I have used my new credit card twice for small purchases at a retailer with a chip reader to keep the card active. I'm sticking to cash for the most part. Over the holidays I received gift cards for AMC, Target and Starbucks. I haven't made any online purchases, but I'm resolving I can just do without, and it's not like I need anything anyway.
 

Purr

Well-Known Member
I read that Australia was seeing about a 10% effective rate for the vaccine they used this year. And it looks like a nasty stomach virus is making it's way around here now (as Loki gloves up...)
It is? I've had an upset stomach for no reason for the last three days, low energy, and otherwise don't feel great. I hope that's not what it is.
 

RiseNFall

Well-Known Member
Update:

... my credit report...
When I checked my credit report a few months ago, my score had decreased. Turns out the reason was that I hadn't been making mortgage payments. They missed that fact that I hadn't been making mortgage payments because I had paid off my mortgage completely. :hilarious: I haven't bothered to correct their misinterpretation because it didn't drop enough for me to worry about.
 
I hardly ever whine.... but now the medication I have to take to keep the cancer away is causing my bone density to drop and I have osteoporosis....:punch::beye::punch::wacky:
Luckily dancing is an exercise that is helpful to that condition
 

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