Whining Thread #2

bordertangoman

Well-Known Member
#22
WHY is it that if you ask a friend if they're free tonight they go on at length at about what it is that they are doing that means that they arn't and leave you feeling envious when a simple 'no' would do.

c**p
 
#23
Ouch. Did they do this intentionally, or was it a serious lack of grace?
I would definitely say both. I have never in my life had to deal with this type of person before. To keep it general I'll just say that I was teaching a gentleman, and his s.o. was watching from the sitting area, long story don't ask... well 2 minutes into the lesson she started YELLING at me and was demanding her s.o. to dance with me b/c he's paying for the lesson (!!). This man was doing his part separately and I was talking him through it. He knew it perfectly well and I complimented him on it. She on the other hand screams at me that he doesn't know it! Then she interrupts again and said she needs to talk to her s.o. in the corner for 30 seconds. I asked what she needed to talk about and she looks to him and said she needs to talk to him now. I had to leave the room and get the studio owner to get her out of my lesson. He came in, saw what was going wrong, she starts yelling at everyone and said her s.o. can't lead her through anything and starts taking her shoes off to show us. The owner asked her to do her part alone... she didn't know it, stomped out of the studio to have a smoke. Wow.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#28
WHY is it that if you ask a friend if they're free tonight they go on at length at about what it is that they are doing that means that they arn't and leave you feeling envious when a simple 'no' would do.

c**p
cuz they don't want you to think they are blowin you off dude...means they care
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#29
I would definitely say both. I have never in my life had to deal with this type of person before. To keep it general I'll just say that I was teaching a gentleman, and his s.o. was watching from the sitting area, long story don't ask... well 2 minutes into the lesson she started YELLING at me and was demanding her s.o. to dance with me b/c he's paying for the lesson (!!). This man was doing his part separately and I was talking him through it. He knew it perfectly well and I complimented him on it. She on the other hand screams at me that he doesn't know it! Then she interrupts again and said she needs to talk to her s.o. in the corner for 30 seconds. I asked what she needed to talk about and she looks to him and said she needs to talk to him now. I had to leave the room and get the studio owner to get her out of my lesson. He came in, saw what was going wrong, she starts yelling at everyone and said her s.o. can't lead her through anything and starts taking her shoes off to show us. The owner asked her to do her part alone... she didn't know it, stomped out of the studio to have a smoke. Wow.
I would refuse to allow her to be there without an apology and an assurance...
 
#31
I would refuse to allow her to be there without an apology and an assurance...
Agreed. This hasn't been the first incident either. I don't think we'll be encouraging them to come back anytime soon, it's just too stressful to deal with, especially in group classes when everyone gets held up b/c of all the interruptions and outbursts. It's just too bad b/c the gentleman is actually a nice guy and dancer, just so completely passive compared to her so I doubt he'll get the "opportunity" to come in by himself.
 

etp777

Active Member
#32
Definitely run her over in parking lot. But follow her to grocery store or somethign to do it, don't want it associated with your studio, might hurt attendance. :)

Oh, and chip in with owner to buy her gift certificate to some other studio and send it to her anonymously. Just enough for a couple lessons, but hopefully that'll get her to decide to stay at that studio and not come back. :)
 

Twilight_Elena

Well-Known Member
#34
This cold is EVIL. Very evil. I'm making a really nourishing soup my mom used to make me whenever I was sick (and also when we were babies). Beef, carrots, potatoes, a LOT of thyme and some couscous. It needs more time. Hoping for the best.
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
#35
What doesn't kill you will make you stronger...
Or, as expressed by another sig line I saw years ago:
Whatever doesn't kill us has just made its first mistake.
(apparently the motto of a ship's crew in a role-playing game the poster was involved in)
 
#36
Good luck TE! Colds are such a pain.

Mine always seem to hang on forever. Ugh.

(Fingers crossed that one doesn't come along anytime soon!)

Sending healthy vibes to everybody!
 
#37
I see you've met my ex-wife. Sorry.

Actually, if that were my ex, then her anger would have all been directed towards him. Plus, she would not have given him any clue at all why she was so angry.

Otherwise, if it's the same pattern, then she's always right and he cannot do anything right. Nobody can tell her what to do, ever -- my ex could never learn to follow (and I'm talking Lindy/ECS which doesn't require as much technique as ballroom or WCS), but would constantly either fight against the lead or ignore it. And she has him so worried about making her angry that he goes out of his way to avoid provoking her. As a student, my understanding is that the leader has to be both confident and assertive; with a "follower" (to use the term lightly) like her, neither quality is possible. No wonder he cannot lead her; he doesn't dare try!

It would not be considered your place, but somebody needs to advise him to save himself while he can by immediately getting as far away from her as possible. If she has not already succeeded in destroying him, he might one day be able to want to enter into another relationship. Because after she has finished chewing him up, she will spit him out.
Oh yes, this was definitely like last night. I understand leading is so important, but if the lady cannot do her own part first, then it'll only be more difficult for the man to lead her through stuff, especially with them being beginners. She can't expect for the guy to man handle her around, that's not dance. It also doesn't help when the follower tries to take over as the leader then blames the real leader for everything that goes wrong.

I don't know what this couple's situation is, they're both older, not married... It's not my place to meddle, but he definitely doesn't wear the pants in this situation unfortunately.
 
#38
Definitely run her over in parking lot. But follow her to grocery store or somethign to do it, don't want it associated with your studio, might hurt attendance. :)

Oh, and chip in with owner to buy her gift certificate to some other studio and send it to her anonymously. Just enough for a couple lessons, but hopefully that'll get her to decide to stay at that studio and not come back. :)
Careful now I have Italian roots... I could cause all sorts of trouble. :lol:
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#39
Then whatever it was didn't hurt enough.
trust me...the death of my mother and other various deepest pains of my life hurt enough...and they left me weaker....maybe wiser and more compassionate...but weaker...much much weaker...I think absoulute statements like that trivialize and overgeneralize people's unique journeys...just my opinion
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#40
Agreed. This hasn't been the first incident either. I don't think we'll be encouraging them to come back anytime soon, it's just too stressful to deal with, especially in group classes when everyone gets held up b/c of all the interruptions and outbursts. It's just too bad b/c the gentleman is actually a nice guy and dancer, just so completely passive compared to her so I doubt he'll get the "opportunity" to come in by himself.
good luck ...my heart goes out to you...some times bright young women get really abused by other women...it really puzzles me...hopeful your studio owner will support you
 

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