I only go to studio parties at the moment, and they have a rule that if you are asked, you can't say no (convenient eh?). But if I could I would say no to one really intense guy who seems to get the wrong impression every time I see him. After a social function once he quite gentlemanly walked me back to my car and I returned the favour by giving him a lift to his. He seem to have misunderstood this and now wants to ask 20 questions every time I see him. Gives me the creeps. A good old conversation is most welcome, but this just feels like prying.
If I see him heading my way now I grab my water cup and head over to the fountain on the pretense that I need a drink!
I usually try to ask just about anybody to dance. The only times I won't ask are when they are clearly out of my league, or they ignore me. There was one guy I wanted to dance with last weekend, and both times when I approached him he looked beyond me and walked away and his attitude was like, "Ho hum, I think I'll go to this side of the room now." I figured I wouldn't bother trying to ask him again.
I do love it when a lead asks me to dance twice in a row! ':bouncy:' It makes me feel that maybe I do know what I'm doing, and I'm not as uncoordinated as I feel! I will almost always say yes when asked for a second dance.
I have always been to scared to ask people to dance due to fear of rejection.
But it seems everyone else feels the same. People want to dance with each other, but guys are scared to ask girls and girls are scared to ask guys, which ends up that people aren't dancing with all the people they want to and we're wasting valuable salsa time!!
Because of this nonsense, my friend and I have made a pact to ask one guy per week, that we don't know, to dance. We've been doing this for two weeks now and I have asked three guys 8)
Until last night it was a great experience (I picked the roughest lead in the club last night :x ). But forget that and lets get back to the good ones...
The first guy I asked was a Beginner/Int, BUT he was a firm and exact lead. He is going to be a great dancer very soon, and hopefully I will be on his dance list :wink:
The second guy was from overseas. He was sitting in the club alone for so long. Eventually I plucked up the courage to asked him and it turned out that again he was a great lead and a great guy. He'd been in the country for a few weeks and was having trouble 'breaking into' the scene here. He was busting to dance!!! He thanked me for asking him. I think I made his night and I certainly made mine.
Although last nights experience was less than perfect, I will still keep asking guys to dance.
PS it was great meeting you when you were here Salsachinita. Hopefully I will be done your way one day soon!!
Hmm, I wonder if Salseras from down under may be more outgoing than women from the states? At least where I go dancing, its very rare to see a lady ask a man to dance. Especially if its someone they don't know, its almost never happens!
RHM - I think its so great that you are asking guys to dance...please encourage more Salseras to do so! I try and ask at least one lady I've never seen before each time I go out...but the only women that have asked me to dance are ones that have met me before, I've yet to have a woman who is a complete stranger ask me for a dance.
I've pretty much gotten over my fear of asking women to dance...but sometimes (like last night in a new club) I lock up and then just don't want to dance at all. Its tough as a new lead...hmm...I can't do much beyond the basic stuff so I tend to avoid the really advanced Salseras...but I need to start asking them too.
I also need to start saving up for a trip to Austraila.
Good on ya, RHM! I was always asking guys to dance (remember?) when I was in Sydney. No point wasting precious salsa time :wink: !
Ok, you get the occassional rough leads, but how do you think I was able to meet all these FANTASTIC salseros from overseas/interstate.....? EXACTLY what you did!
To answer your question, SG, we girls from down under may turn out to be more assertive 'askers' due to the shortage of good leads here. Ask, or miss out.
(Eventhough there seemed to be more leads in Sydney, as stated by my friend who visited Melbourne last Friday.)
OK, anyone here in DF working in the travel industry...? Any DF special group deals to get all you guys from the States down here for the Sydney Congress......?