Why don't you ask him/her to dance?


Active Member
scorpionguy said:
Youngsta, is this just in Colorado? If so I'll be making a trip over there real soon. :)
Nope. Even when I'm in LA it's that way. If I need a break I have to get WAAYYYYYYYY far from the dance floor!! :lol:
Hmm...now are these Salseras mainly on the prowl for a good lead? I imagine that you are quite a good dancer, as opposed to myself who is just starting out.

Would these same ladies seek out a beginner just the same? Or a complete stranger?

Sagitta - sounds like we need to visit some different dance venues. There are no ladies on the prowl where I dance...I see many thinking about asking me, but they never do!
Oh no worries, I ask some of them. The real flirty ones I avoid though...I don't have time for that stuff. :)

Of course, you have to be really quick to get a lady where I go dancing...there are a lot of leads to compete with.

I filled my ask to dance quota tonight by asking two strangers to dance, so all is well for a Sunday evening. :)
SG, I don't know if we are more assertive than women in the startes but without asking anyone, I know of at least four Aussie women (one is Salsachinita) who ask guys to dance, so I imagine there's plenty more. Salsachinita's right, why waste valuable salsa-time!!!

If you come to Australia (and what better time than the Congress????) let me know and we'll dance with you. :) I'm sure Salsachinita will too!!

Its a strange thing in Salsa, there are many more men in it than women it seems. In our classes men often outnumber women, which is not as good a thing as it sounds.

As far as knowing how a stranger leads before you ask, well, you take pot luck really, unless you've seen them dancing.
scorpionguy said:
Hmm, I wonder if Salseras from down under may be more outgoing than women from the states? At least where I go dancing, its very rare to see a lady ask a man to dance. Especially if its someone they don't know, its almost never happens!
Hi SG,

I´ve had girls ask me to dance that were complete strangers. On the top of my head there were at least three who I had never seen before in my life. They were all less experienced than me. Anyway, I always accept and usually ask them later on during the night. I think it takes a lot of guts to do something like that. I admire woman that do that.

About three weeks ago, a girl who I didn´t know also asked me to dance with her - twice on the same night. A week later, I saw her again and she asked me to dance with her 5 times! :shock: Amazing. We danced 6 times (I asked her to dance once). She told me that she didn´t mind asking guys to dance. Great and rare attitude!

Regarding your question, I believe most girls when they ask a complete stranger prefer asking a guy more advanced than themselves. Why? Because most of the good leads would not normally ask them for a dance.
MapleLeaf Salsero said:
most girls when they ask a complete stranger prefer asking a guy more advanced than themselves. Why? Because most of the good leads would not normally ask them for a dance.
Yep, that's how we can improve......! (At least it's the only way I know how to maximize my range of partners for the night :wink: )

By dancing "up", ie dancing with better leads, we as followers are picking up different things, new challenges included. All of which are beneficial to make us better dancers :wink: !
You NEVER turn a lady down who asks you to dance! Any lady who asks me to dance ALWAYS gets a YES! And I've met some great ladies and followers this way. I agree with the previous post, it takes guts to ask someone you don't know to dance, but this is also something you should get over--it's only a dance! I live in the SF Bay area, and one of the best followers here is a lady named Rita. When my friend and I first started going out to the clubs, she would come right up to us and say,"You both better ask me for a dance tonite--don't make me hunt you down!" So we would and she is GREAT! I think this goes a long way to building up beginning leader confidence. I know when I was starting I got a lot of "mercy" dances by ladies who were much better than I. I think that's what so great about the Salsa scene--people are social and generous in their encouragement. You just eventually get over the shyness and get out there and dance! If I go to a club and see a lady sitting in the corner, I go up and ask her because I remember what it was like when I was starting out.

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