why it may NOT be good to date a fellow dancer

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
very interesting side bar - I think it may depend a lot on how old you are. When in your 20s and 30s differences can be very attractive and help you open up to new things. However, when you are in your 40s and later then I think you are looking more for a companion wiht similar interests so that you can share what you both love.

To bring this back to dance, maybe its the same there - even though thats exactly the opposite of what I posted earlier (on the wrong thread, can't even find it). At my age I would love to have the prospect of retiring with someone that loved to dance and compete - the thought of traipsing round in a (fancy) camper and parking at the comp du jour! It could be worse...
Just tipping 30 and find older ladies interesting...late 30s.....just noticed I have more friends of that age than any other...hmmm...all dancing friends....
 
... as to pros/cons of dating another person in the dance world, funny thing was, BEFORE I met my ex (dancer guy), I'd always told myself that I did not want to date another dancer, because I feared that dance would become the bulk of our relationship and define it too much. See thing is, I have a wide range of interests, even IF dance is a big part of it. Personally, I like having a life/interests/friends/down-time separate from my partner in life. And I feared that by dating another dancer, that would intensify the time I spent dancing, thereby cutting down on my other interests (which I would NOT want to happen). Much as I love dancing, I think it's extremely important to have a well-rounded social life, I guess because I realize that SOMEDAY, the dancing will have to lessen in my life, if only due to eventually decreasing energy levels, arthritis, etc. :--)

Course, once I DID meet my ex, I began to think about how nice it was to have a built-in social companion for going out dancing, a built-in practice partner, and someone to potentially travel to congresses with.

But now that that relationship is over, I am once again reverting to my original belief that I'd prefer to be in a relationship with someone outside of the dance world (not ONLY for my aforementioned reasons, but now ALSO because when such a relationship ends, it can leave a bigger hole in your life.) So yeah, I think all around for me, dating a non-dancer is best. It would never affect my ability to go out and dance, as I would only date someone that has their own life, and who is confident enough to allow me to have my own life (dance that is). That said, we'd have a wonderful life together too, but with our own other outlets.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
o samina - didn't mean to make you a topic of convo. sorry :)
no sweat. it's interesting to hear what other's think of you... lol.

am not inclined toward pissiness, but have been known to lop off a head when it's deserved... :rolleyes:
my kids are well-acquainted with this, no doubt.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
:sigh:

trying to remain close friends with former BF did not work out... had to make clean break yesterday. nearly a year, now, since we met at salsa class... :sigh:

lots of sighing this weekend.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
... as to pros/cons of dating another person in the dance world, funny thing was, BEFORE I met my ex (dancer guy), I'd always told myself that I did not want to date another dancer, because I feared that dance would become the bulk of our relationship and define it too much. ....

But now that that relationship is over, I am once again reverting to my original belief that I'd prefer to be in a relationship with someone outside of the dance world
i would date another dancer. before getting involved with my ex, had a very strict policy of keeping my dating & dancing lives separate. but honestly... outside my dancing, i have my family & my work, and there ain't much room for anything else. so it makes sense to be with someone who can share that world with me. and it was a positive experience.

the ex & i won't avoid each other at dance venues... it will be a bittersweet delight to dance together, and i know neither of us would want to miss the enjoyment of it. as for any resulting sense of loss or sadness... i've got an open heart, for both the joy & the sadness. wouldn't want to close off against one or i'd miss out on the other...
 
:sigh:

trying to remain close friends with former BF did not work out... had to make clean break yesterday. nearly a year, now, since we met at salsa class... :sigh:

lots of sighing this weekend.
Hugs... I'm not sure about staying friends - at least immediately after a break. It makes it harder to move on so think of this as both a way to find a new (and far better one), and also as a way to heal your relationship with BF-past so that it can develop in time to a realy friendship.
More HGs.
:kitty:
 
Oh Samina... I can feel your pain. I can totally imagine that feeling of dancing with someone with whom you enjoyed so much together, but knowing that at the same time, that you can't go back... that things will never be the same... Bittersweet indeed!
 

etp777

Active Member
It was convincing me to go out to club and pick up some random person to date, only question being to mak esure that they DON'T dance. :)
 

samina

Well-Known Member
wha...? noooooo... no one's allowed to get jaded, here... life's too short & fab for that. even if things can be sad now & then... :)
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
It was convincing me to go out to club and pick up some random person to date, only question being to mak esure that they DON'T dance. :)
Doesn't going to a club increase the chances of meeting someone who doesn't know how to dance?


Just relying on my experiences with a singles dance. A friend had roped me into accompanying her a few times, because she wanted to know that there would be at least one guy there who knew how to dance. For my part, I found that hardly any of the women there knew how to dance; all they could do was some kind of free-style.
 

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