Women refusing to dance....*(&!*&!!

GalaticDancer43M said:
I could only imagine the discipline her girlfriend got later on for inviting me back to her table!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :wink:
my imagination is running wild already ! were those girls hot ? were they a couple of blondes from South America ? ;)
 
gte692h said:
GalaticDancer43M said:
I could only imagine the discipline her girlfriend got later on for inviting me back to her table!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :wink:
my imagination is running wild already ! were those girls hot ? were they a couple of blondes from South America ? ;)
Not that this should matter, but both of these girls were Smokin' and I don't mean cigarettes brother :wink:

Heading off to my Tango lesson, catch you guys later!
 
gte692h said:
GalaticDancer43M said:
I could only imagine the discipline her girlfriend got later on for inviting me back to her table!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :wink:
my imagination is running wild already ! were those girls hot ? were they a couple of blondes from South America ? ;)

Forgot to answer your 2nd question. The one that invited me back had long straight dark brown hair, the enforcer had shoulder length dirty blonde hair. No they're locals from Michigan.
 
GalaticDancer43M said:
Not that this should matter, but both of these girls were Smokin' and I don't mean cigarettes brother :wink:

The one that invited me back had long straight dark brown hair, the enforcer had shoulder length dirty blonde hair. No they're locals from Michigan.
yay! i like how this thread is turning out !
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
Salsaonone said:
Last night I saw a guy go up to a woman to ask to dance and she said no...then I saw another guy ask her to dance (she is right next to the dance floor) and she says no, So knowing that she will say no, I go up to her and ask her to dance a merengue...and everyone knows that if you have two feet that work, anyone can dance merengue...she replied she didnt know how to dance...and I said in as neutral tone as possible something to the effect of "so what this is merengue, the easiest dance in the world"...she replied "I just want to watch"...so I said "I dont care if you say no to me, but the only way you are going to get better is to go out and dance, have fun, and not be afriad to make mistakes"....and then I left her...later on, the same guys (must have known this girl) asked her to dance and she refused...for some reason this pissed me off...so the guys are walking towards me and I tell them that they should go back to her and make her dance or tell her she should leave...hehe....and then the girl comes by and I told her you should dance with these guys, why the hell (edited for screen size) are you here? Im sure she just loves me now, and my frustration for these guys overweighed the fact that this particular woman was quite attractive (and didnt know how to dance, btw). I guess it just hit me the wrong way...these guys werent even strangers to this woman....ahhhhh!!!!!!! I guess she was too good for anyone to dance with....pisses me off!!! dance or leave!!!!!!!!!! I can understand a no thanks I just danced for 10 minutes.but not to everyone including the people she knows...to just to sit there next to the dance floor so men could come up to her and ask her the whole night and not even accept one dance invitation....did I mention that pisses me off?? How do I really feel about it??? Good question!! :evil: :evil:

Ahem...Salsa rules....women who say no to everyone (not just a particualr person they dont like to dance with) stinks to high heaven..
I haven't read the rest of this thread, but being irritated at her seems like a waste. Maybe this was her first time watching Salsa? Maybe she wanted to build confidence before ahe accepted a dance? Maybe just by offering to show her a single basic pattern she might have accepted?

I'd say it could be her loss, not your's. :roll:
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
b.b. said:
BrookeErin said:
Why can't people come just to watch or enjoy time with their friends? Dancing is a beautiful thing that we all appreciate. Some people don't feel comfortable dancing or maybe she's working up the nerve or maybe she has some unnoticeable problem that would making dancing difficult. I'm surprised at your anger over what was her personal decision. It doesn't sound like she was rude. Was it more frustrating because she is attractive? Should security have escorted her out for sitting out too many songs? Would you care if she was at the bar and not by the floor? But could she see from the bar? Ok, I'm talking too much, but the question remains: Why can't people come just to watch?
I agree on this. I know plenty of people who come to the clubs just to watch. Some of them get sucked into the dance world, others keep watching. Nothing wrong with that. It's a club - relax, enjoy and let everybody else do the same!
Ayuh.
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
youngsta said:
Haven't we had this convo numerous times already?! Guys need to stop taking this so personally, most times they aren't rejecting YOU it's just bad timing. And if they are rejecting you personally #1 Maybe there's a reason or #2 Maybe they ARE just rude. Either way just move on.
Ayuh.
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
wuthering said:
What surprises me though, is how some women refuse an invitation: they have a severe look on their face and just say "no", without trying to offer an explanation, a kind word or anything.
Politeness is certainly best. If I refuse a woman for a dance, I try to be polite in some manner.
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
Lucretia said:
Sagitta said:
wuthering said:
I had a similar experience a few weeks ago. A guy from my salsaclass refused every girl who invited him for a dance. My guess was that he hadn't confidence enough to accept.

Late that night he came up to me and said that he had waited all night for a merengue or batchata - he wanted to dance with me. I said - why not try this salsa and he refused. We talked about it and it turned out that he had meet some not so very nice followers who had broken down the little of confidence he had.

Finally I took him by the arm and said - "now we do basic mambosteps the whole song. Its is great for me. I can relax, enjoy the music and I may perhaps try som styling tricks I don't have time or nerves to do dancing with the real good guys." He accepted.

We had a few nice salsadances. He kind of started to flourish...tested more an more steps. I'm sure he will become a great dancer IF he dares to dance and IF the ladies threats him well.
Luc, that was very nice :)
I agree. I try to help out people too. :)
This was polite, understanding, and seemingly helpful! I like it! :D
 
Sheesh

Michelle DiMascio said:
This topic is pushing my buttons and I'm trying to say this in a nice way: I can't help wondering if this woman refused your multiple invitations because she saw you doing something off-putting earlier in the evening or at an earlier time? Your lingering anger over the situation leads me to believe that this isn't a first time occurance. Maybe a little self-eval is in order.

The phrase "No means No" is ringing in my ears. You don't need to add an explanation. Period.

I've pretty much stopped going to "regular dance clubs" because I can't stand all the aggressive guys who can't get past their own fragile egos. You know, if a woman refuses me then there must be something wrong with HER. Conversely, I am sick of the mentality that if I accept a dance from a guy then I must also want to go home with them or, at least, give them my telephone number.

Can't a woman dance, or not dance, if she wants to? Sheesh!

I've refused to dance ever again with a guy at a local weekly ballroom event because one night he, um, reached out for a handful of my breasts while I was dancing with him. Both hands! (both breasts!) He's a bit sleazy and I had always felt a little uncomfortable around him. Well, I guess I was right to! I danced with him because of that old saw that you shouldn't refuse an invitation to dance. Screw that!

He stayed away from me for about a year but started asking me again recently. I just say no. Does he think I really want a repeat performance? Or that I forgot about it? Give me a break!

Sorry if I'm coming on a little strong, but dang it, where are the boundaries!?

Is this to me??? I see that If *I* come on a little strong with an opinion I get attacked from all sides with more force than I ever used and its ok since I "started" it??? You people are making the strangest leaps of judgments about me. Do you think my venting in cyberspace represents who I am as a total individual??? Are you the type of poeple who judge a person's value by the way they dance on the dance floor??


I have NEVER, EVER, EVER "gropped" a woman who wasnt currently making love to me at the same time in a private location... I would never touch a woman in some private place on the dance floor or anywhere else without their approval and I dont do that in public places anway....accidents may occur, but that happens....To think that my frustration over a woman's refusal to dance makes me some sick pervert on the dance floor is quite insulting.

I dance with all level of followers and enjoy each one....I will dance with women who are way better than I will ever be, and I dance with women who are just starting out....And to their approval or dismay I almost NEVER ask them out or for their phone numbers..even the ones I find extremely attractive...perhaps I need to change that..hmm..I walk them off the floor, say thank you (perhaps with a small hug), and walk off....

If you care to find out what kind of person I am, come out and visit me and spend some time with me, then you can decide....sheesh...you guys are amazing...and must admit amusing..... :wink: And if this wasnt towards me, its still all true... :twisted:
 
Ummm, Salsaonone :roll: I suspect you don't know many of us either and are jumping to the conclusion that we (some of us) are jumping on you, figuratively speaking of course :wink: .

You see, that is the "problem" with the internet. You have strangers communicating/"chatting with one another" without frames of reference in terms of personality, voice intonations and body languague. Therefore misunderstandings can, and do occur. Unfortunately, your original post did come across even to me, as if you were venting... and I am not american :D

As a moderator, if you haven't already, I would like to invite you to revisit your original post (now that some time has elapsed since you posted it) and see whether it does convey the meaning you intended or the one that many of us received. If in any doubt, please repharse in another posting and let us (the other DF members) see if we perhaps were a bit hasty in how we perceived your thread. :D
 
Re: Sheesh

Salsaonone said:
Is this to me???
You people are making the strangest leaps of judgments about me.
Ok, on my behalf: I do not and did not judge you. But we've all had our share of rude refusals, we've all had to refuse in a rude manner at some point, etc. I think anyone could have started this discussion.

(Although I do think you got a bit "overheated" in your first post.)
 
Re: Sheesh

wuthering said:
Salsaonone said:
Is this to me???
You people are making the strangest leaps of judgments about me.
Ok, on my behalf: I do not and did not judge you. But we've all had our share of rude refusals, we've all had to refuse in a rude manner at some point, etc. I think anyone could have started this discussion.
Well said.
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
Re: Sheesh

Salsaonone said:
Michelle DiMascio said:
This topic is pushing my buttons and I'm trying to say this in a nice way: I can't help wondering if this woman refused your multiple invitations because she saw you doing something off-putting earlier in the evening or at an earlier time? Your lingering anger over the situation leads me to believe that this isn't a first time occurance. Maybe a little self-eval is in order.

The phrase "No means No" is ringing in my ears. You don't need to add an explanation. Period.

I've pretty much stopped going to "regular dance clubs" because I can't stand all the aggressive guys who can't get past their own fragile egos. You know, if a woman refuses me then there must be something wrong with HER. Conversely, I am sick of the mentality that if I accept a dance from a guy then I must also want to go home with them or, at least, give them my telephone number.

Can't a woman dance, or not dance, if she wants to? Sheesh!

I've refused to dance ever again with a guy at a local weekly ballroom event because one night he, um, reached out for a handful of my breasts while I was dancing with him. Both hands! (both breasts!) He's a bit sleazy and I had always felt a little uncomfortable around him. Well, I guess I was right to! I danced with him because of that old saw that you shouldn't refuse an invitation to dance. Screw that!

He stayed away from me for about a year but started asking me again recently. I just say no. Does he think I really want a repeat performance? Or that I forgot about it? Give me a break!

Sorry if I'm coming on a little strong, but dang it, where are the boundaries!?

Is this to me??? I see that If *I* come on a little strong with an opinion I get attacked from all sides with more force than I ever used and its ok since I "started" it??? You people are making the strangest leaps of judgments about me. Do you think my venting in cyberspace represents who I am as a total individual??? Are you the type of poeple who judge a person's value by the way they dance on the dance floor??


I have NEVER, EVER, EVER "gropped" a woman who wasnt currently making love to me at the same time in a private location... I would never touch a woman in some private place on the dance floor or anywhere else without their approval and I dont do that in public places anway....accidents may occur, but that happens....To think that my frustration over a woman's refusal to dance makes me some sick pervert on the dance floor is quite insulting.

I dance with all level of followers and enjoy each one....I will dance with women who are way better than I will ever be, and I dance with women who are just starting out....And to their approval or dismay I almost NEVER ask them out or for their phone numbers..even the ones I find extremely attractive...perhaps I need to change that..hmm..I walk them off the floor, say thank you (perhaps with a small hug), and walk off....

If you care to find out what kind of person I am, come out and visit me and spend some time with me, then you can decide....sheesh...you guys are amazing...and must admit amusing..... :wink: And if this wasnt towards me, its still all true... :twisted:
A personal experience from last night. I somehow asked someone to dance verbally almost just after someone else asked non-verbally from a distance. Person said the next dance to me. 3 dances and no sign of her. She starts the 4th dance!! I simply decide that if she ever wants to dance with me she'll have to ask me as I have no clue what she means by what she says. :wink: :)

From my perspective..bugging a person as you describe is a little on the outrageous side Salsaonone.
 

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