would you date or marry someone who is not a dancer?

peachexploration said:
Well, my answer would be no on this one. Why? Non-dancers have no passion. I'm only joking. That's not true at all and it was purely coincidental. Okay, I think it's time I sit on the Psycho Analyst couch and see why I attract these types. :wink: :D Joking aside, I must say I prefer someone who dances along with a list of other requirements. :D
Hmm. Haven't looked at this one since 2003. Even though my dancing has slowed down quite a bit. My passion for dance is still there. Sorry, Mr. Mango (whomever that may be :wink: ) still MUST dance. :)
 
I've yet to try dating a non-dancer, so I couldn't tell you. I think if I ever did, and he were as supportive as I want him to be of my interests, including dancing, I'd still miss not being able to share it with him. I'd have to leave the ballroom whenever a sappy song got played! :shock:

And no, I didn't read the whole 18 pages. I did get to page 7, though. :lol:
 
My first serious boyfriend was a skinny goth boy and he liked to dance. He was half-Portuguese -- olive skin, black hair, wiry. And he could move in his own way. He did this jerky energetic thing in time to the music, although he only really liked dancing to goth, industrial and electro.

Dancing had nothing to do with why I broke up with him. That was to do with him not taking care of me. I have to say, a man who wants to take care of you is always going to be better to dance with, even if he has two left feet and no sense of rhythm, because just spending time with him is a pleasure and a comfort.
 

tsb

Well-Known Member
Ms_Sunlight said:
My first serious boyfriend was a skinny goth boy and he liked to dance. He was half-Portuguese -- olive skin, black hair, wiry. And he could move in his own way. He did this jerky energetic thing in time to the music, although he only really liked dancing to goth, industrial and electro.

Dancing had nothing to do with why I broke up with him. That was to do with him not taking care of me. I have to say, a man who wants to take care of you is always going to be better to dance with, even if he has two left feet and no sense of rhythm, because just spending time with him is a pleasure and a comfort.
it's been my experience that my favorite partners are people i like being around OFF the floor - at least for me, personality & temperment are as significant as technique.
 
tsb said:
Ms_Sunlight said:
My first serious boyfriend was a skinny goth boy and he liked to dance. He was half-Portuguese -- olive skin, black hair, wiry. And he could move in his own way. He did this jerky energetic thing in time to the music, although he only really liked dancing to goth, industrial and electro.

Dancing had nothing to do with why I broke up with him. That was to do with him not taking care of me. I have to say, a man who wants to take care of you is always going to be better to dance with, even if he has two left feet and no sense of rhythm, because just spending time with him is a pleasure and a comfort.
it's been my experience that my favorite partners are people i like being around OFF the floor - at least for me, personality & temperment are as significant as technique.
Same here.
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
One of my guests during our Lindy exchange took quite the opposite position, that you do not want to date anyone who is a dancer. Some of the reasons he gave were:
  1. All you have in common with each other is dancing (none of his dancing girlfriends cared anything about the life he had outside of dancing).
  2. There's no privacy; everybody knows the both of you and your business.
  3. If you're not actually in a relationship with her, all the other girls in the dance community assume that you are and so they view you as "off limits".
  4. After you split up, her friends may tend to try to "get even" with you (this happened to him as an ex-girlfriend's friend actively spread rumors to the new girls of him being a sexual predator)

Now, obviously there are some definitions to be quibbled over here. For the most part in this thread it appears that "non-dancer" has meant someone who doesn't or can't dance at all and hence "dancer" has meant someone who knows how regardless of whether they are active in the dance community or not. It seems to me that what my guest meant by "dancer" was someone who is an active member of the local dance community and, indeed, someone whose mainly activity is dancing.

As for myself, it still seems that I am still very much more likely to end up dating dancers because most of the women whom I will meet will be through dancing.
 
salsachinita said:
Just out of interest: did those of you who have recently joined this discussion actually go through 17 pages :shock: of previous discussions.....?

I'm :notworth: if you did.....!

(btw there were some really interesting stories/experiences there anyway, so it's definitely worth your while if this topic interests you 8) )
Nope, I haven't read all 17 pages.

Then again, I have yet to actually join the discussion as well :mrgreen:
 

Twilight_Elena

Well-Known Member
I went through 17 pages in super speed to see if I've already replied to this thread (would be hilarious if I have, since I'll contradict myself 100% :p :roll: )
-Dating someone who has no interest in dancing and really doesn't think it's anything serious/worth his time is just out of my list. Sorry, my friend, but you're not going to be in a serious relationship with me.
-Dating a fellow dancer who's really into it might sound like heaven (dancing together, talking about dancing and dance music, sharing the PASSION!) but I wouldn't really go after it. Something tells me that while things would go perfectly well for a little while, then it would all go downhill when one tries to interfere in the other's dancing, tries to show/teach him/her moves, when the fights over dance issues start... It sounds ugly to me. I wouldn't like mixing my personals with dancing either. They're very seperate things for me.
-Dating a non dancer who is very supportive of my dancing and even dances himself from time to time is the ideal thing for me.
-Oh well. That and a dancer with which I have the absolute soul connection. Will let you know if that happens.
That good enough or does anyone need specifics? I'd be happy to reply. :D

Twilight Elena
 
Wow, I'm with you guys! I wrote my response some 10 pages ago, but have forgotten what I originally wrote! The sentiment's the same, though. I am not and have never been attracted to dancers. I like them, respect them and have them as my very good friends but would never think of them as a romantic interest. Guess I prefer quiet, reserved types.
 
Sorry, I know I shouldn't do that, but I can't help my self :

Swing Kitten said:
-- willing to try new things
-- knows what it's like to not be good at something right away (humility)
-- shows a willingness to work toward self improvement and knows the satisfaction of "finally getting it!" (patience)
-- knows it's important to make time for himself
-- demonstrates the ability to be considerate of another and to pay active attention to that individual
-- :D one word: stamina! :shock:
-- Creativity!! which, for me is a must!
:shock:

Thoughts?
Yes, just one : Does not look like a PG13 list... rather an R list... Should you really be posting this on such a forum :oops:
 
DWise1 said:
One of my guests during our Lindy exchange took quite the opposite position, that you do not want to date anyone who is a dancer. Some of the reasons he gave were:
  1. All you have in common with each other is dancing (none of his dancing girlfriends cared anything about the life he had outside of dancing).
  2. There's no privacy; everybody knows the both of you and your business.
  3. If you're not actually in a relationship with her, all the other girls in the dance community assume that you are and so they view you as "off limits".
  4. After you split up, her friends may tend to try to "get even" with you (this happened to him as an ex-girlfriend's friend actively spread rumors to the new girls of him being a sexual predator)

  1. I don't agree. As a lindy hopper living with a lindy hopping girlfriend, I can say:
  2. We have other stuff in common too. Having dance in common does not rule out having other things in common.
  3. Both of us have friends outside the dancing community.
  4. No way. I dance and flirt with a lot of girls. I'm only off limits for sex and as a potential boyfriend. But since I'm dancing for the fun of dancing, and not for picking up girls, that's not an issue.
  5. I have no experience with this, but I can't imagine there will be more trouble inside a dance community compared to other communities.
Having a dancing partner is great because:
  • She understand that me dancing close to another girl, is me dancing, and not me trying to pick her up
  • We can dance together in other situations outside the dancing community.
  • We can dance together and practice at home. (Theoritically. We're a bit limited on floor resources at the moment)
  • I can go out and dance alot, without feeling guilty for leaving her home alone.
  • I can go to a dance event alone, or with a female friend, without her getting jealous of me spending time with other women
 

tsb

Well-Known Member
cocodrilo said:
Wow, I'm with you guys! I wrote my response some 10 pages ago, but have forgotten what I originally wrote! The sentiment's the same, though. I am not and have never been attracted to dancers. I like them, respect them and have them as my very good friends but would never think of them as a romantic interest. Guess I prefer quiet, reserved types.
the qualities are not mutually exclusive
 

tsb

Well-Known Member
Flat Shoes said:
I didn't get that one either. I know lots of quiet reserved guys who are dancing. Including myself most of the time.
maybe it's a cultural thing in the japanese salsa world.
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
Flat Shoes said:
DWise1 said:
One of my guests during our Lindy exchange took quite the opposite position, that you do not want to date anyone who is a dancer. Some of the reasons he gave were:
  1. All you have in common with each other is dancing (none of his dancing girlfriends cared anything about the life he had outside of dancing).
  2. There's no privacy; everybody knows the both of you and your business.
  3. If you're not actually in a relationship with her, all the other girls in the dance community assume that you are and so they view you as "off limits".
  4. After you split up, her friends may tend to try to "get even" with you (this happened to him as an ex-girlfriend's friend actively spread rumors to the new girls of him being a sexual predator)

  1. I don't agree. As a lindy hopper living with a lindy hopping girlfriend, I can say:
  2. We have other stuff in common too. Having dance in common does not rule out having other things in common.
  3. Both of us have friends outside the dancing community.
  4. No way. I dance and flirt with a lot of girls. I'm only off limits for sex and as a potential boyfriend. But since I'm dancing for the fun of dancing, and not for picking up girls, that's not an issue.
  5. I have no experience with this, but I can't imagine there will be more trouble inside a dance community compared to other communities.
Having a dancing partner is great because:
  • She understand that me dancing close to another girl, is me dancing, and not me trying to pick her up
  • We can dance together in other situations outside the dancing community.
  • We can dance together and practice at home. (Theoritically. We're a bit limited on floor resources at the moment)
  • I can go out and dance alot, without feeling guilty for leaving her home alone.
  • I can go to a dance event alone, or with a female friend, without her getting jealous of me spending time with other women
I didn't really agree with him either, but I could see some of his points and he did present a different perspective.

On:
  1. From what he was saying, this guy would tend to get romantically involved with a girl very quickly, before there would be time to get to know each other, hence all they had in common was dancing (or at least it turned out that way). Obviously, if you take more time to get to know each other first, then you have a better chance of finding whether or not you have common interests. And I think that these girls he was talking about might have been "dance addicts", in which case other interests would be a moot point.
  2. Your response doesn't follow. But what he described is true of any small tight-knit community, be it a dance community or not. And, besides, if she's a "dance addict", then she probably wouldn't have many friends, if any, outside the dance community -- I seem to recall some threads here on having non-dancing friends.
  3. You could be perceived as having a relationship even when you are not. For example, I've become a "dance buddy" for this one woman who's new to the area and new to Lindy and to West Coast Swing. We arrive together, hang out a lot together, and dance together more often than with any other individuals. We are not "in a relationship", but we could easily be seen as being in one and be treated according to that perception.
    And by "off limits", he and I did mean for purposes of trying to start a romantic relationship, not for purposes of dancing (in which case, as the song says, "Grab anybody's daughter!"*).
  4. I also have not encountered this, but then I also have not yet been in a situation that could lead to it. And, again, this would be no different than in any other small community.


[Footnote *: This Joint is Jumpin']
 
I would date any guy, dancer or no, if I was attracted to him and I could connect with him. If he dances, that is a bonus, if he doesn't then he'd have to understand that this is something that I love and I don't want to give it up. If he truly cared about me, I'd like to think that he could understand that.
 

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