Wow! I'm really sorry to hear you had a bad experience, lindy jihad. :?
Actually, I've been pondering this a bit, as well. In the past, I used to work and live with my S.O. It got a bit claustrophobic after a while. I'm wondering if it might not be better to have a significant other who has an absorbing hobby, whether it's dance or not.
I'm rediscovering Dance forums after a couple weeks vacation!
I started dating my boyfriend right before I went to college. I've been here fo a year and a half now, and discovered dancing in the process. He lives three hours away, and if he learns to dance, he wants to learn with me. But until then, he is completely suppotive of my dancing, and even helps me pay for a few of the things I need for the ballrom dance team. The only really hard part is going out west coasting and wishing could do that sexy dance with him, wanting to share it with him. But hopefully when I get outta college he'll learn with me.
I can't believe I didn't get into this thread before!!! THIS HAS BEEN BUGGING ME FOR AGES!
I've been told my many "experienced" salseras that I should never NEVER date a dancer because it rarely works out. BUT i don't think I could ever date a non-dancer because that would be a huge part of my life that he can't connect to.
For example, if I were a non-dancer, i would probably be jealous seeing my dancer boyfriend being close and touchy with all those women...
I don't understand it. I adore my boyfriend, but I can garantee that when he dances with other women (he isn't a "dancer" but he goes out to hip hop clubs with my friends when I'm not around) I couldn't care less. He loves me. , I love him, and he knows that. So, what's to worry about? If there is an honest open relationship where he tells me opennly what he does when I ask, I have nothing to be afraid of. It's when he stops telling me things that I'll be worried. For that matter, 'cause I live so far away from him, driving ourselves crazy with worry about the others fidelity isn't worth the time and the pain. He knows i dance, he knows that I may be close to other men and women bodies, but that in the end, my heart never touches them.
BBW's advice is great! I find what breaks relationships is not whether or not you special someone is a dancer or non-dancer. It's a matter of trust - that's what all relationships are!! I know quite a few couples who are non-dancer/dancer, both ways, meaning sometimes the non-dancer is a guy and sometimes it's the gal. I'm talking about the entire gamut from boyfriend/girlfriend to 20/30 year married couples. Now I've not had a non-dancer other person since started dancing, so cannot attest to this personally.
However, dancer couples can work out great as well, speaking from personal experience.
Personally I'm more in line with Jenibelle, but nor because of jealousy issues (which are, as BBW says, silly). To me the issue is that dancing is suuch a *huge* part of my life that I want to be able to share it -- in at least some form -- with the person I am involved with. Now it might be possible to work something out if they are involved in another type of dancing or a related activity (pairs figure skating comes to mind) whereby simmilar passions and issues are involved but, by and large, I can't help but think another dancer is the way to go...
You have a great point there Jonathan. And like I said, my only problem is I can't share the dancing with Andrew. But dancer/dancer or dancer/non-dancer or whatever/whatever, it's all an issue of comfort and trust. Just as long as you try not to let anything blindside you to other possibilities, hey, who cares?
I agree with you there, eventhough I've been burnt before I still believe that, since living salsa as a lifestyle is such a HUGE part of my life, the other person has to be able to share at least some of it.
So does that mean musicians, DJs, as well as dance instructors are all datable...... :? :wink: ?
What do you guys think? Anyone got experiences to share?
I know of dj/girfriend couples, as well as musician/girlfriend couples that have worked well salsachinita!! However, the musicians and djs are also dancers as well...
[A little off the topic, but my parents would have a fit over this!!! The "marriage" topic has come up, with statements such as "where do you see yourself in ten years?" Yikes!!! Luckily they are not great at accessing the internet etc.]
I agree that a dancer is a big plus!! And as time passes I have a strange feeling it might become essential But right now what is essential to me is sharing similar faith and cultural/ethical/moral values.
I guess you are all right about the jealousy issue, but I still can't imagine dating someone who could not relate with such a huge part of my life. I guess I would just have to learn to feel comfortable knowing that WE are together, regardless of who he dances with...it's just that salsa is a very sensual and passionate dance and it would be hard!...Perhaps I'll get over it.
Sagitta: REALLY have you personally encountered a relationship that worked in dance??! That would be so inspiring! It's just that my being one of the youngest in the "dance circle" in my town seems to bring on endless streams of advice from all the "experienced" ones and the one thing I hear all the time is "Do NOT date a dancer." :?
Those who have had bad experiences will say don't date a dancer jenibelle. You just got to find the people who have had good experiences. It's the bad experiences that people tend to remember and the good ones that quickly fade away!!
Salsa is a sensual dance, but it is only for a few minutes... If you are romantically involved with the person you're dancing with it is completely a different then someone whom you aren't!! I do know couples who are serious and dance with others in swing, salsa, ballroom... When I started dancing I used to wonder about these things, and actually started getting nosey!! [Asked questions!!] That's why I can say what I say with some degree of confidence. I personally have only recently picked up dancing, so don't have such experiences to share. Then to find a dancer who also shares the same religious/moral/ethical values and whom I connect with on an intellectual level!!?! Yikes!!
just want to pop in and say hi, I just came back from a dance comptition in manchester, my partner (very very beautiful :shock: ) and me advanced to second round in waltz and quickstep. it was fun! and I am on a mission to steal my partner's heart :twisted:
I've noticed that too!!! Not fair! :evil: Followers get to learn from thh basics to the advanced on the dance floor, but if you start out late in adulthood a leader is not going to get more then the basics: front and back, side-to-side, simple left/right turn, crossbody breaks.
My list, to add to what Swingkitten said:
1. Watch others and try and repeat on the dance floor, or if the guy does not have the confidence at home. Add one move at a time, or part of a move at a good breaking point.
2. Videos / video clips on the web.
3. Private lessons...
4. Take a salsa rueda class as that is done with a group and is salsa. This accomplishes three purposes. Your guys gets used to having different people to dance with as you are constantly switching. Also a lot of the moves can be translated from salsa rudea to salsa. Lastly, it is salsa and at the same time not salsa so it provides a little variety.
5. Practice and listen to salsa. Breathy and live salsa!!!! I was having a hard time and so decided to forget learning moves. I started listening to salsa everywhere that I could. At work when in my office, in the car, on my walkman, on the computer at home....Then wherever possible I practiced the basic step to a variety of different tempii, focusing on different aspects, such as the nature of the breaks and how it affects the music, working on latin motion, size of the steps... getting comfortable with that so that it is instinctive is making a world of difference in learning moves and progressing from the jerky nature of a beginner to the smooth move after move of more advanced dancers.
I am trying to get him in a group class........since he likes the Cuban rueda de casino moves (I made him watch me dance with a variety of ppl)that is the class I am putting him in...! It's x'mas soon though, a lot of classes are finishing .
(too bad he was too much of a beginner to learn from watching......last weekend would have been a perfect opportunity when I host the interstate instructor :roll: )