Question to competitors w/kids

If you compete and have kids in school, what do you do regarding competitions during school year - don't go, let your kids miss school for a day or two, have someone take care of your kid while you're gone? The reason I ask is that my teacher is suggesting that I should try to do some bigger comps next year (like OSB), but they all fall during school year and none of them coinsides with school breaks or long school weekends we have. And I would love, love, love to do some bigger comps, but I have a son in middle school and I hate to let him miss it about as much as I love to compete. I make an exception for St. Louis Starball, because he only needs to miss 1/2 a day for us to dance there, but bigger comps start earlier in the week, so it would be 2-3 school days.

Remind me: is your husband your partner? I guess one of the upsides to pro/am is that my husband is able to be home with the kids when I travel to a comp. I could not possibly take them with me to a comp - they would be far too much of a distraction. I actually had my kids come to a local one a couple of years ago, and they were running around the place with a bunch of other kids. Luckily it was a poorly-attended competition and people didn't seem to really notice. Or if they did, they were nice and didn't say anything.

Do you have any close friends that could take your child overnight on occasion - maybe if you reciprocated?

mamboqueen said:

Remind me: is your husband your partner? I guess one of the upsides to pro/am is that my husband is able to be home with the kids when I travel to a comp. I could not possibly take them with me to a comp - they would be far too much of a distraction. I actually had my kids come to a local one a couple of years ago, and they were running around the place with a bunch of other kids. Luckily it was a poorly-attended competition and people didn't seem to really notice. Or if they did, they were nice and didn't say anything.

Do you have any close friends that could take your child overnight on occasion - maybe if you reciprocated?

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I don't think my husband will want to stay. First of all, he will probably want us to try to compete there as an am/am couple as well (we're trying it again and I don't think we're good enough as am/am couple for a major comp, but...) Second, his schedule is also tied to school year (although he is a bit more flexible), so if he cannot go he will complain that I attempt to have fun without him. I just realized that he has not stayed with our son even once overnight by himself (the only time I had a business trip about 8 years ago, we had a live-in nanny).

So far our son usually has gone to the comp us (my nxt comp will be my 7th) and he keeps himself busy with gameboy or whatever. Now he is old enough to go to the hotel room and watch TV when he gets bored at the ballroom. The issue for me is having him miss school. I don't have close friends whom I could ask to not only keep him for a few days, but also drive him to school and pick him up (no school bus for us - private school), and my family is not close enogh geographically. Of course, in another 6 years or so, this won't be an issue at all, because he will be old enough to stay at home for a couple of days.

It's tough when kids are not quite at the age when you can leave them home by themselves. In your case, I would suggest leaving him with friends for the days you're away. You'll be able to relax knowing he's in good hands and he won't be set out of his normal daily rhythm all that much. He'll probably even consider it a bit of an adventure. Don't know if you have family in the same part of town, but that's also a great option. Some of the parents I know leave their children with friends and it seems to work quite well.

If leaving him with friends is not an option, can you call his teacher and ask her opinion on how he would handle being out for a couple of days? Some kids can just do the work on their own and be fine, while others really need the structure of sitting in class. You can also ask whether there is anything big planned for that week, like an exam, that he would miss by travelling with you.

What does the school system have for rules regarding absences? I'd hate him to miss 1-2 days for a comp, then get really sick later in the semester, miss 9-10 days and end up failing because they have a 10 day rule.

I have a 3.5-year-old who attends Montessori, and I will say that schedule is a major factor in our selection of comps. Luckily, most amateur events are on the weekends.

We do wind up vetoing comps, however, if our events are scheduled too early on Friday or end too late on Sunday (the grandparents live three hours from our house). And we stayed at the Independence Day Dance Camp (which was fabulous, btw) for only 3 days because we wanted to spend July 4th with our daughter. There are a lot of compromises, and our work schedules are also a major complicating factor, but we do manage to do 3-6 comps a year. (So far this year, we spectated at MAC and competed at NE Regionals, Philly Festival, and Yankee Classic.)

ChaChaMama

Grandparents? Over here they're a major help. If they're old enough, slumber parties at their friends can be convenient, too.

T_E

I would say bring the kids! I think its a great experiance for them and though I and my son are both pretty young (lol he is only 1 year and 3 months) and I might not know about him being in school yet I hope to be able to take him when is older too. Plus I dont think half a day is too big of deal. I sure wish my parents would've taken me out of school to go to a comp. Ask th teacher if there are any important things being covered that day and maybe he can take the work with him. But like I said I think it would be good for the whole family. I personally love taking my son and boyfriend with me to the comps; they always have a blast. Well good luck with you decision and happy dancing!

chocolatchica said:

I would say bring the kids! I think its a great experiance for them and though I and my son are both pretty young (lol he is only 1 year and 3 months) and I might not know about him being in school yet I hope to be able to take him when is older too. Plus I dont think half a day is too big of deal. I sure wish my parents would've taken me out of school to go to a comp. Ask th teacher if there are any important things being covered that day and maybe he can take the work with him. But like I said I think it would be good for the whole family. I personally love taking my son and boyfriend with me to the comps; they always have a blast. Well good luck with you decision and happy dancing!

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I can live with half a day, it's a longer absense I am worried about. If I went to, say, OSB, and took him along, he'd be missing 2-3 days probably.

Well I think the best thing is, if you really would like to go and take the family, just ask the teacher if there are any big tests on those days and have them bring the work with them. That way thery're not really missing out on too much. And if they're younger the teacher might just have them write a report about their day at the comp for credit. Just some ideas. Hope they help

Another possible option is to switch from dancing American style to international style, if you are currently an Am style competitor. The American style tends to get sort of hosed in the scheduling department.

Looking at OSB, it looks like it is predominantly Wed-rhythm, Thurs-smooth, Fri-standard, Sat-latin, with amateur international syllabus among the Sunday events.

Looking at USDSC, which is right at the beginning of the school year, it is predominantly Tues-rhythm, Wed-smooth, Thurs-latin, Fri-standard, with most amateur events either at night or on the weekend.

There are also tons of am-am comps that are weekend only, particularly in certain parts of the country, like the Northeast. The MAC has become one of my favorite comps, and it is usually the weekend leading into MLK Day, which works well for parents (compete Saturday, travel home Sunday, have a whole other day before kids are due back in school. No problem!)

If people didn't bring their children to comps, who would pick up all the loose rhinestones?

I am smooth/standard competitor. I also live in Midwest, which does not have that many local comps. Now I have another reason to miss Northeast, although, if we still lived there I probably would not be competing.

waltzgirl said:

If people didn't bring their children to comps, who would pick up all the loose rhinestones?

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And let's not forget the feathers!