We've only been dancing for a couple of years but we've been married for 20, and dancing has certainly provided some interesting changes in our relationship, most of them positive.
We both have some dancing in our background, but my wife used to be a champion in other dance forms. She's a bit of a perfectionist and tends to see any suggestion to do something differently as a potential criticism so I have to be really careful how I suggest changes to a routine. Also, because she's such a natural dancer she's usually the one giving me pointers and I've learned (mostly) to put my male ego thing behind me and listen. That whole process has humbled me and has certainly helped our relationship.
Since recreational companionship is such a significant need for men (second most important according to studies), dancing with a spouse does help a marriage because it meets the man's need and the woman's need for companionship.
Where I found the challenges lie are in three areas:
First, dancing with other partners is kind of awkward. We do it at dance parties but there never fails to be a sense of not guilt but questioning when we do. If she gets asked to dance I'm fine with it, but she'll feel a little uncomfortable that I may just sit there by myself. Likewise, I may want to dance with another woman but I'm certainly not going to leave her sitting alone while do. Yet dancing with other people is a vital part of growing as a dancer, so this is an interesting phenomenon.
Second, since we are competitive, there are fascinating tensions surrounding both our training and our competition. I think competing is far more difficult for a married couple than it is for unrelated partners. My wife is unusually gracious, and there's no sense of blame when we screw up in a competitive event, but I think the sense of responsibility or feeling that you've let down the other party is much greater in a married relationship when a mistake is made.
Third, because of our competition training, we've seen tensions surrounding our training schedule. I'm very competitive and train hard, at least 10 hours per week. But my wife is much more relaxed about her schedule so I'm often training alone. This sometimes makes me feel as if she's not serious about winning. While we don't fight or argue, it has created some interesting frustrations. I'm going to start another thread on partnering for married couples, because I'd like to know how others handle this.
