A Place to Vent

Ok, here's a place where you can vent all your dance frustrations. I'll start.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a dance that was rather crowded. People who weren't dancing were standing off to the side as usual. At one point I was one of those people. I was chatting with someone and was watching them do some really neat poppin and lockin. So I guess we were a little on the floor because he was dancing. Anyhow, this guy comes over and shouts at us to get off the floor. I was so stunned by it that it took me a minute or two to register what he said. So I didn't move right away. He comes back over with his partner and literally knocks into me to push me off the floor.

Tonight I was at a dance and the same guy was there. He asks me to dance like it never happened. I accepted because I was one of the only followers at the dance (wind chill -45 degrees keeps the people away I guess). In the middle of the dance he stops me and is like, "I'm going to show you how to do this move, blah blah blah" he proceeded to talk to me like I had no idea what I was doing, when I could have followed him in my sleep. (FYI it was a slow WCS and he was not leading anything difficult). ARG!

Ok I should have said no to the dance tonight and asserted myself. But man, I was so angry. I felt like I could have choked him. That is so unlike me. Honest. I'm not a violent person. But oh it made me so mad!!!! :evil: :headwall:

ok...I think I feel a bit better now. Now it's your turn. Let it rip!

Oooo! Talk about arrogance! I'm sorry that had to happen to you.

My venting has less to do with others, more to do with clubs. Now, hear this- I maybe 19, but I'm willing to pay cover and steer clear of the bar if only salsa clubs would let me in!! This is really more of a problem for me in Austin than in Dallas (I live in both areas)... How do the rest of you under 21's deal with this?

I just be thankful that 18 is the drinking age here :lol:

Giselle said:

My venting has less to do with others, more to do with clubs. Now, hear this- I maybe 19, but I'm willing to pay cover and steer clear of the bar if only salsa clubs would let me in!! This is really more of a problem for me in Austin than in Dallas (I live in both areas)... How do the rest of you under 21's deal with this?

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That is a problem. I'm not sure how you deal with it. I wish they could give over or under 21 people a stamp or bracelets so that it would be easily recognizable to bartenders who was not 21. But I guess the idea is that someone else could buy you drinks and stuff. It stinks. I'm sorry for you.

I feel for you SwinginBoo!! I have absolutely no tolerance for people without manners. If there is one thing that gets my blood flowing and overflows my tolerance cup it is incidents as you describe. I have shown people steps on the dance floor, (beginners usually, and others who ask)but if at any point they express a lack of interest/frustration I move on as after all I like to dance. And if you weren't causing any problems at the edge of the dance floor what that cad did is inexcusable.

As for the 21 age limit that is something else that irritates me to no end!! Can't stand it! At the place that I go salsa dancing there are options for those who are under 21!! First, come in early while lessons are going on and then you don't have to worry baout being carded! Second if you come after the dancing has started and their is a guy at a door you have to show valid underage id, get stamped....something like that...as I know of one person who got in once going through this rigamarole! lastly aren't there events which are not held in clubs that you can attend? I know that there are here in Ithaca.

There is another dance teacher locally who doesn't like me. He has apparently been saying negative things about me. Since I feel that behaviour reflects more negatively on him than it does on me, it doesn't really bother me.

What bothers me is that this month a student who has been in my classes for several months paid by check and wrote the wrong name. It was my first name, and the other guys last name.

This student and I have emailed back and forth several times and my name is on the return address of all of my messages, so it really frustrates me that he doesn't even know who I am!

(I'm finding the story kind of funny now that I'm writing it, though.)

Kevin

(I'm finding the story kind of funny now that I'm writing it, though.)

Kevin

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That's the thing about it. Once you write it down it's like you put it on a cloud and blow it away. Ok so that was corny , but it's like it doesn't matter anymore. You can see it at face value and let it go.

SwinginBoo, regarding the cad, if he is such a newbie that he can't even tell that you know how to dance, maybe a good response would be to do a really great dance with someone who knows what they are doing right in front of him? I'm sorry that the guy was an idiot, but it's obvious from your description that he isn't very experienced.

Giselle, regarding the under-21 issue, it might very much depend on the local laws. It is possible that different counties have different liquor control laws that preclude allowing anyone under the legal drinking age inside their establishement. You might want to contact the clubs where you are interested in dancing beforehand to see what you can do about dancing there. Maybe there is a system that would allow you inside.

I have one more thing to add to the under 21 age problem. At least as far as swing goes (I'm not sure if other dances are like this) you need to get the younger kids interested in it to keep it alive and thriving. If young people are kept away because of age then you lose interest in the dance. We need to encourage younger people to get involved and learn. IMHO

Here, there are several clubs that sponsor underage parties (kind of lame if you're nineteen, I know :cry: ). Also, most clubs admit 18 and up, but allow drinking only at 21 and up. You get a wristband when you show ID, and the wristband is required in order to buy drinks.

It might be worth calling a club or two, to suggest that. I can't see them turning away potential patrons.

My frustration is that the good, independent dance teachers don't advertise directly. Mostly business cards and word of mouth. Most of the studios that advertise are the big, big-budget franchise studios that I plan to avoid like the plague. So how do I find a new teacher? Hmm. Gotta give that some thought, but I bet groveling to the local USABDA president will be involved. LOL.

pygmalion said:

My frustration is that the good, independent dance teachers don't advertise directly. Mostly business cards and word of mouth. Most of the studios that advertise are the big, big-budget franchise studios that I plan to avoid like the plague. So how do I find a new teacher? Hmm. Gotta give that some thought, but I bet groveling to the local USABDA president will be involved. LOL.

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Take advantage of the word of mouth form of advertising. Go dancing and ask everyone you see (and like) who their teacher is, and/or who they would suggest you learn from. You are certain to get lots of good feedback.

It wouldn't hurt to ask the USABDA president, but I'm fairly certain that they are supposed to be "neutral", and may not give specific references. Asking everyone else at a USABDA dance might be a good choice, though, 8^).

That's a good suggestion, KevinL. I was thinking something along those lines, too. The independent teachers here do "rent-a-teacher." You pay them $50 a hour, and they take you to a public ballroom dance and dance with you exclusively. So you get dance practice in real-life sitations. I'm going to the USABDA dance, and I'm going to watch the rent-a-teachers. The ones who look good, will get a call from me.

I also got a PM from a fellow DF member who has a great coach. He's pretty far away from me, but he's definitely on my list of possibilities. He looks great!

pygmalion said:

That's a good suggestion, KevinL. I was thinking something along those lines, too. The independent teachers here do "rent-a-teacher." You pay them $50 a hour, and they take you to a public ballroom dance and dance with you exclusively. So you get dance practice in real-life sitations. I'm going to the USABDA dance, and I'm going to watch the rent-a-teachers. The ones who look good, will get a call from me.

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I'm not sure I would be comfortable doing the "rent a teacher" thing. I don't have a problem with charging for my time in a teaching situation, but at a dance I might feel just a little like a male escort. I suppose it would work ok as long as I got in the mindset that my partner was paying specifically for follow skills necessary on a social dancefloor. I'm still not sure though.

Regarding watching the rent-a-teachers, will that really be a reliable test? What if their partner is really bad and makes them look less skilled than they really are?

You may have mentioned this is another post, but what about the differences between a female teacher and a male teacher? As a follower you might need more of the teaching expertise of a female teacher, and if all the female teachers are dancing with limited male partners you won't get a good feel for what they can really teach you.

Hmm. Kevin. You raise some interesting points, and I honestly hadn't considered them all.

The rent-a-teacher concept was totally new and foreign to me when I moved here. To be honest, I don't much like it. It DOES look like the male escort thing. Yuck. A lot of people here will split the cost of the evening, and two or three students will share the teacher. That makes it look a lot less like a date, and more like dance instruction. AND the teachers get some extra cash, and free advertising.

And watching them -- well -- that would be just a starting point. If nothing else, in the past year, I've learned that it's important to have GREAT, not good, not mediocre, but GREAT coaching, from a person you like and trust. And I can't settle for less than that. So I'm embarking on the "great teacher search odyssey" LOL. Seriously, I'll be watching the teacher, not the student, for qualities I want to emulate. And since it's competitive dancing I want to do, I'll be watching feet, posture, poise (in the dance sense), poise (in the composure sense), showmanship, floorcraft. And that's just my requirements for their DANCING. LOL.

Then , the next hurdle is in the first few lessons. Good dancing and good teaching don't necessarily equate. Fortunately, I've had good, bad, and ugly teachers (twelve so far) so I have some idea what good looks like.

LOL. My next teacher is going to have to be pretty darn good to meet my specs. But I'm sure there are some out there.

Oh yeah, and I have a female coach who's helping me with body rhythm and styling. I'm looking for a lead coach, who'll get me to the next level of (what I perceive to be) excellence.