Financial issues + Dance - Advice?

Well...my parents are trying to take my Latin and Ballroom dancing away from me. I've gone fro, taking 4 classes a week to jsut one, to help save money, but it's still too expensive. My studio uses a 10 hole punch card. The punch card is valid for 10 private lessons, and is $430!!!! Holy cow, pricey, I know. So I do 1 lesson a week, which gets me through a month and a half (about.)

Now I ask for ballroom shoes...and my parents have totally FLIPPED. At my dance studio, my teacher sells brand new shoes for only $65-$75, wide selection and name brand. When I told my parents, they nearly choked.

So they jsut got finished telling me I need to quit this dancing because it's too expensive and they told me I'll never be good enough to compete and win money, which really upset me :/ They also think the latin dancing is too "sexy."

I don't know what to do. I LOVE the latin dancing - it's so much fun and I've gotten far with it. I really don't want to give it up. Any suggestions? :/

Thanks.

-emily13

It's unfortunate that your parents feel this way. Do you do anything else besides dancing? Perhaps you could give something else up in exchange for continuing to dance.

Perhaps you could also start working. I know there are some places in Australia that allow you to work for them at the age of 13.

If you aren't above emotional blackmail, perhaps you could try, "Why don't you want me to be happy?" Of course, I only do it if it's absolutely necessary.

Maybe you could look at changing studios. I'm not really sure of the prices in America and what's fair and what's not but maybe you'll be able to find a more affordable studio.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Nobody likes to be told that they can't do something they love. I will keep thinking about it but this is all I can come up with for now. I hope you parents are able to see reason soon.

Ouch...

As far as shoes go, you can usually find good cheap shoes on Ebay. My DP/GF found a pair of Supadance practice shoes in excellent shape for $20 WITH shipping.


Does your studio offer group classes? I know our studio has groups for $25 per person per month, one lesson a week. Might compromise with the folks that way.

Might have your instructor talk to your folks to answer any problems/questions/worries they may have.

Hang in there. Hopefully it'll all work out for you.

First off, those are extremely good prices, assuming the quality of the lessons is there. Do some comparison shopping and you'll see. Second, if you feel the lessons are of good value then you should be willing to pay for them yourself. I see from your profile that you're only thirteen and so while you can't get a job yet, you should offer to pay as much of the money as you can to your parents. Can you babysit? Do yard work? Rent your services as such out to your family and neighbors. You should be able to easily make a hundred dollars a month this way and offering to go halves with your parents will make your case much more convincing.

I worked out the price of your private lessons in AUD. They cost about $50 each. I'm assuming these go for an hour. My private lessons cost $75. Perhaps you parents would feel better about it if they knew how expensive it could be.

Mine go for about an hour and a half. My dance teacher is top recomended in my area, and is REALLLLLY good. She's gone to worldwide competitions and has come home with several firsts.

Group classes are about 5 bucks each, but tend to run late at night :/ And since I'm about an hour and a half away from the studio and gas is expensive, it makes it that much harder.

$43 per private lesson? Assuming the teaching's quality, that's REALLY good. That's less than I pay even for skating lessons from a mid-tier coach (assuming that's per 45 minutes or per hour--for skating I pay $60/hour, and for a top coach would be more like $80-90.) Also the price for the shoes, if they're mid-range quality, also sounds like a steal.

Though, yeah, dance is expensive in general. I work three jobs, and my parents still very generously help me out a lot. (They'd do that without the dancing, but that's just because they're nice that way.) I would agree with MissBallroomBear's suggestion--is there something else you can give up instead? I dialed my skating way back to pay for ballroom. In fact, now I teach recreational skating to help PAY for ballroom.

As for the whole "Latin is too sexy" thing....well, I can't help you much there except to say dress conservatively for practice (the pros I know who have juniors don't put them in anything revealing even to compete because it's not considered apropriate.) And demonstrate this is about *dancing*. It's like acting.

For those prices, I'd consider moving countries!

I cant agree more with the offering to help pay for part or all of your lessons. Sometimes you have to do that when you really want something!

When I was about your age I got a paper route to pay for my theatre lessons. The studio let me pay have price, because they knew I had to pay for it myself. You could consider talking to your teacher about why you are taking lessons, see if you could work for the studio in exchange for lessons or something? Some studios have scholarships like that...

Thanks for the help all
I'll forward it to meh Mom ^_^

May the DF force be with you.

Maybe you should read the thread through carefully before you forward - it might be better to cut out all the useful advice to make it easier to read.

I agree with the comments above. Your parents have been very generous up to now supporting your interest and you should be very grateful for that since obviously it has involved sacrifices for them. As suggested above, probably the best strategy is to raise the money yourself as far as possible - at least to the point where the costs are what they might expect to pay for another, more common, interest such as soccer or painting. You could also research how much it would cost to do ballet - a more usual dance hobby for a young woman - and try to make up the difference.

By the way, before taking up ballroom I would probably have reacted to latin dancing as your parents have without any experience in it although I would not now. Maybe you can get them more involved in the studio - or even get them to take up dancing themselves!

I agree that your studio's price for private lessons is an exceptionally good deal. But an exceptionally good deal means nothing to a family who can't really afford it. And for many families (perhaps even the majority of U.S. families), $43/week for a child's hobby is just out of reach.

Therefore, unless you are intimately familiar with your family's budget (not the case for most U.S. 13-year-olds), I hope you won't try the emotional blackmail thing.

I also agree that if your family can't afford the expense, your only options are to 1.) try to raise the money yourself and 2.) cut back.

I believe I read that you're also taking ballet lessons, so you might have to decide which you enjoy most and give up the other.

With regard to the sexiness of Latin dances, I understand your parents' concern. My LW and I were surprised at some of the moves pre-teen competitors did at a competition we recently watched. It was even a little disturbing. But then we reminded ourselves that while movement might look sexual to us adults, to the preadolescent kids, it's probably just movement, with no sexual context. If your lessons continue, it would be a good idea for your parents and your instructor to talk, so they can understand the moves you are doing and perhaps reach an agreement regarding any movement they'd prefer you not use.

Hope this helps.

-IJ

hang in there emily..the good news is that you can practice as much as you want, that many colleges have teams, and barring that, you are never too old to ballroom dance even if they do stop supporting it....it is hard under circumstances like this, to have to try to understand their perspective...and certainly no one should ever be told they aren't good enough...your potential isn't even theirs to predict....good luck to you...practice hard...make it hard on their conscience to take it away...

I forgot to add that the statement that you'll never be good enough to win money at competitions is irrelevant.

Dancers don't win cash until after they turn pro, anyway. Amateurs can win scholarships (to pay for future competition entries, for example), but a pretty small percentage of competitors ever win one.

The comment you relayed sounds like something someone might say in frustration, but if your parents truly believe that winning competitions is the only reason to take ballroom dance lessons, they apparently fail to understand the many other benefits. Some education for your parents on that point might be helpful, unless they just flat out can't afford the lessons, in which case I guess it doesn't really matter how well they understand the benefits.