"Emperor" for the day

If you were Emperor/Emperess for the day, what would you do and why? :lol:

The inspiration for this was drawn from a news article today about the President of Turkmenistan, Saparmurat Niyazov who has banned a number of things in Turkmenistan such as ballet and opera on the grounds that they are "unnecessary" :shock: .

In addition:

Two months ago he used another television appearance to ban beards and long hair for men. Opera and ballet are not allowed, because Mr Niyazov decided they were unnecessary. He has changed street names in Ashgabat to numbers, and forced his ministers to take part in a 36km "health walk".

Surreally, he has followed in the footsteps of the fictional dictator in Woody Allen's movie Bananas, to redefine the ages of his citizens. Adolescence now lasts until 25, youth doesn't end until 37, and old age starts at 85.

Last year Mr Niyazov instituted a holiday in honour of the muskmelon, a relative of the watermelon, complete with lavish festivities, and ordered that everybody take part. "This godsend has a glorious history," national television announced. "Our great leader, who has a great love of his nation, has brought the name of the tasty melons to the level of a national holiday."

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The article

I would dissolve the Senate and hunt down and exterminate all remaining Jedi Knights. Then I'd issue an edict extending my Imperial rule for life and throw a big Dark Side salsa party, with no muppets allowed, and free tequila shots. I'd encourage Dark Side dancers to invent new swing moves for a weightless environment, and throw anti-grav balls where the LOD goes right up the walls and onto the ceiling, so people can dance there, just like the song says.

:roll: :lol:

Genesius Redux said:

I would dissolve the Senate and hunt down and exterminate all remaining Jedi Knights. Then I'd issue an edict extending my Imperial rule for life and throw a big Dark Side salsa party, with no muppets allowed, and free tequila shots. I'd encourage Dark Side dancers to invent new swing moves for a weightless environment, and throw anti-grav balls where the LOD goes right up the walls and onto the ceiling, so people can dance there, just like the song says.

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Wonderful imagination. Wish I could be that colorful. :wink: :lol:

peachexploration said:

Genesius Redux said:

I would dissolve the Senate and hunt down and exterminate all remaining Jedi Knights. Then I'd issue an edict extending my Imperial rule for life and throw a big Dark Side salsa party, with no muppets allowed, and free tequila shots. I'd encourage Dark Side dancers to invent new swing moves for a weightless environment, and throw anti-grav balls where the LOD goes right up the walls and onto the ceiling, so people can dance there, just like the song says.

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Wonderful imagination. Wish I could be that colorful. :wink: :lol:

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Give in to the Dark Side, Young Peach, heh heh heh....

Hmmmm.. interesting, My first thout was to build the biggest dance hall ever and make everyone dance :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

But with further thought.....it wouldnt be such a bad idea!

1) Every large civic or institutional building and hotel shall feature a ballroom

2) The carpeting and subdivision of ballrooms is banned

3) Playing songs or blended medleys over 3 minutes is banned

4) National Holidays for all major competitions

5) The playing of a group of several songs in the same dance style and only then switching to another shall receive the royal frown, unless they are WTVwFQ, or the event bears a prominent warning that it is primarily about Merengue, Salsa, and other nonsense.

6) On second thought, silly 'partner' dances like merengue are simply banned

7) On futher thought, non-partnered dancing is banned except for those forms with redeaming artistic merit, and specially licensed historical re-enactments conducted soley for educational purposes.

8) Anyone who wears flimsy heels, a skirt of less than 1/2 circle, or other unsuitable attire to a dance venue shall be condemned to wear a scarlet heel cover around her (or conceivably his) neck for the period of one week.

9) Anyone who plays a foxtrot over 30 mpm shall be forced to dance jive for 1/2 hour.

10) As the emperor has failed to master samba, his most loyal subjects shall respectfully refrain from playing this barbaric dance in his presence.

11) The emperor does, however, enjoy watching a good paso doble once or twice a night.

(See - governments usually start out doing lots of good, then they do something wierd, and after that it's just purely random hit or miss with no discernable reason to it)

This is hilarious! Excellent laws!

I completely agree with 1, 2, 3, and 4. Especially agree with five.

Chris Stratton said:

6) On second thought, silly 'partner' dances like merengue are simply banned

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I don't regret the loss of merengue. But I'd like to add one more point here, insert it between 5 and 6. Call it 5.5:

5.5) Hustle can't be played more frequently than any of the ballroom dances (except Paso Doble)

Chris Stratton said:

8) Anyone who wears flimsy heels, a skirt of less than 1/2 circle, or other unsuitable attire to a dance venue shall be condemned to wear a scarlet heel cover around her (or conceivably his) neck for the period of one week.

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What about short tight skirts (that stretch enough not to inhibit from taking large steps). You really want to ban that? :shock:

9) Anyone who plays a foxtrot over 30 mpm shall be forced to dance jive for 1/2 hour.

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I couldn't stop laughing!

10) As the emperor has failed to master samba, his most loyal subjects shall respectfully refrain from playing this barbaric dance in his presence.

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Would you not enjoy though all those girls in tight clothes shaking their butt. Also, as very few guys have mastered samba, the girls will dance with each other (is that not hot?) So there are more benefits of samba than just samba.

Also want to add this:
12) competition partners are prohibited from monopolizing each other. They should dance with other people too!

Kitty said:

Chris Stratton said:

6) On second thought, silly 'partner' dances like merengue are simply banned

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I don't regret the loss of merengue. But I'd like to add one more point here, insert it between 5 and 6. Call it 5.5:

5.5) Hustle can't be played more frequently than any of the ballroom dances (except Paso Doble)

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I don't know--I think merengue should be retained especially for those gentlemen who go out dancing looking for a quick hook-up....

Genesius Redux said:

I don't know--I think merengue should be retained especially for those gentlemen who go out dancing looking for a quick hook-up....

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True... if the girls then write this little code on the bathroom wall, everyone will be happy and confusion will be a thing of the past!