I've seen this topic mentioned before in posts but would like input geared specifically to this issue. I have been a student for a few years at a small studio. There is mutual interest on both my part and the owner of the studio to train me to become an instructor at the studio. Over the past few years, I have developed 1 or 2 close friendships with other students. A condition of becoming an instructor is to sever those friendships. I can understand that the studio wouldn't want other students to feel that my friends would be getting preferential treatment, etc. The owner says it's the "nature of the business" and I would know proprietary information. However, if a professional standard can be maintained at the studio while maintaining a discreet friendship outside the studio, how would that adversely affect anyone? How can an employer dictate personal relationships outside of the studio? My friends would never ask me to reveal studio secrets nor would I ever break the trust of the owner. I think it is possible to maintain separate professional and personal lives. What are your experiences? Is this a common rule among studios?
Severing friendships upon becoming an instructor
- Thread starter klyns01
- Start date
jerseydancer
Active Member
This sounds like way too much politics for a small studio. There are always certain students that do get better treatment because they have developed close friendships with the studio owner, or studio teachers, what is the big deal? And is the studio doing something illegal that you cannot talk about to your friends? Very strange situation? Is this common for other dance studios?
samina
Well-Known Member
klyns, maybe you can find a different studio who would also be willing to train you... and you wouldn't have to give up your friendships.
definitely a matter of you deciding which you value more. if these are significant relationships in your life, my guess is that the opportunity becomes a no-brainer, one you wouldn't want to consider taking. if they are just mild acquaintances, it may be a different picture. or not.
what do you value most in your life? that's the most important thing. not so much what the studio values...
definitely a matter of you deciding which you value more. if these are significant relationships in your life, my guess is that the opportunity becomes a no-brainer, one you wouldn't want to consider taking. if they are just mild acquaintances, it may be a different picture. or not.
what do you value most in your life? that's the most important thing. not so much what the studio values...
danceronice
Forum Master
While there's definitely a concern about getting TOO involved with a student and favoritism, at the studio I dance wtih in Boston, that would NOT be an expectation, the assumption being we're all grown-ups. I can safely say they would not expect you to cease 'being friends' (what, you can't sit at the same lunch table?) All of us who worked there, teachers or office, knew "proprietary information" about things like pricing and who's had how many lessons and probably most important personal-contact information. We just didn't tell it to people. Heck, at the job I have now, there are things we as professional employees (college staff) cannot tell our work-study employees--I have keys and alarm codes they don't, even though two of them have been here much much longer than I have! That doesn't mean we never socialize with them.
I would wonder what exactly he's worried about you 'spilling.'
I would wonder what exactly he's worried about you 'spilling.'
Studios do have policies about "fraternising", but what you've written here sounds pretty extreme to me.
If it were me, I would try to seek out people who used to work for the studio and talk with them about their experiences before signing any contracts. No major gossiping, just a few simple professional questions. It could just be scary language for something not strictly enforced, or it could be just scratching the surface of some serious drama that you don't want to get involved with.
If it were me, I would try to seek out people who used to work for the studio and talk with them about their experiences before signing any contracts. No major gossiping, just a few simple professional questions. It could just be scary language for something not strictly enforced, or it could be just scratching the surface of some serious drama that you don't want to get involved with.
Peaches
Well-Known Member
My $0.02 is to do a bit of online research to see if that's even legal. It sounds very suspicious to me. Not divulging business information is one thing; fraternizing while at work is one thing...it's a whole other ball of wax when they start trying to tell you who you can and cannot socialize with outside of work.
Likewise, be very Very VERY careful about any noncompete agreement, if they ask you to sign one. It's not uncommon to have companies ask you to sign a noncompete that would never hold up in court, but the threat and expense of it can be enough to let it go unchallenged. All that means is that the employee has shot themselves in the foot.
I'd speak with a lawyer if you really want to pursue this.
(Again, like I said, just my $0.02. And I'm not a lawyer, so I doubt it's even worth that much. I'm speaking purely from secondhand personal experience with a former employer of DH's.)
Likewise, be very Very VERY careful about any noncompete agreement, if they ask you to sign one. It's not uncommon to have companies ask you to sign a noncompete that would never hold up in court, but the threat and expense of it can be enough to let it go unchallenged. All that means is that the employee has shot themselves in the foot.
I'd speak with a lawyer if you really want to pursue this.
(Again, like I said, just my $0.02. And I'm not a lawyer, so I doubt it's even worth that much. I'm speaking purely from secondhand personal experience with a former employer of DH's.)
Warren J. Dew
Forum Master
This is a common rule among certain types of studios. Many people think they can handle conflicts of interest and when push comes to shove, but they don't actually handle them as well as they think they will. You may be an exception, but there are valid reasons why some studios have this rule, and they can't very well make exceptions for just one instructor.
If you're not comfortable with that rule, you probably shouldn't be teaching at that studio.
I realize I need to speak more with the owner regarding this issue and I plan to do that soon. The main concern that I have with this is that the owner, who admitted that he first thought about me as a potential instructor one year ago, encouraged my friendship with one particular student by having us work together on projects - to the benefit of the studio. So if he was considering me to be an instructor which would require me to sever my friendships, then why would he have encouraged them in the first place? That is where my confusion comes in and leaves me wondering if he would allow us to maintain a discreet friendship given the circumstances.
fascination
Site Moderator
I think you need to discuss this with him...particularly b/c maryland isn't a huge place and your username isn't terribly mysterious...and it is probably best dealt with privately...
fascination
Site Moderator
I think that is a sad and jaded perspective on how it should go
tanya_the_dancer
Well-Known Member
This is a bit more than just a no-frat clause, he is asked to drop his existing relationships in order to work there.
Piggles
Member
I agree with Larinda's posts; I used to be a student for 4 years at a studio that was very extreme in its non-frat policies. I've since danced at other studios and have never seen its equal in terms of how the owner regimented social interaction. One time her manager went so far as to try and control the social interaction of students (as in student-student interaction) *outside* of the studio too!
Just like any other job you'd apply to, take the time to consider whether the business policies are ones that you (preferably) agree with, or at the very least, are willing to adhere to.
Just like any other job you'd apply to, take the time to consider whether the business policies are ones that you (preferably) agree with, or at the very least, are willing to adhere to.
TangoRocks
Member
Sounds like your studio owner has franchise roots--that level of strict non-frat I've only seen at franchise studios. The only exception seems to be if you had a pre-existing relationship, i.e., someone you did NOT meet at your current studio. Your childhood friend or sorority sister would probably be ok, but not someone you first met at the studio. One of my friends at my studio is now in the "training" program so she is not even allowed to have me on her facebook as a "friend", let alone, say, go grab a drink at the pub, whereas she is still allowed to fraternize with a lady she has known a long time, and is still a student at the studio. The independents around here are less strict, I even know a girl who is getting married to her dance teacher, and she'd only switched to the independent studio to compete in International style, not to find a boyfriend or future husband.