dancing without a partner

sorry about the huge post, please read it...

OK, i've had a pretty in depth look around this site and there pleanty of information about how to dance with a partner. however there's nothing useful about dancing in a club without a partner.

i've never really had problems dancing before because i've always had a girl to dance with and i find it really easy to just play off her reaction. When i'm on my own the whole thing changes, i can still move with the music but i get over concious of what to do with my hands, shoulder and hips, everyone else i see is the same.

i've been clubbing literally hundreds of times and i've noticed a few things:

1. i've never seen a guy that can dance without a partner

2. most girls find it easy to pick up dancing because having a lighter and looser body frame mean you have a looser range of movements that flows more naturally, i would have no problem at all dancing like this the problem is it just looks gay.

3. i've never seen anyone waltzing on a club dance floor.

4. no-one learns "moves" to dance to hip hop etc.

5. just telling someone to loosen up, or follow the music, .... isn't going to tell them what to do with their hands

words like foxtrot, swing, polka, waltz... mean nothing to me.

please don't redirect me to that 'club dancing index' post.

Like every other guy that's ever gone clubbing, I don't want to be an amazing dancer I just want to dance without looking stupid.
i'm pretty open to talk about anything to do with this and i'm going back to college in 2 days to for a week of clubbing/bars/fun... so if you can help please post but do it quick.

any advice would be really welcome...

Watch your self in the mirror.

Im not kidding, its the only way you will truly learn to be comfortable enough with yourself to dance alone in public.

Then try out moves, they dont have to be moves you have seen, just make something up, try it a few different ways, if you like something you see in the mirror you will be comfortable doing it on a club floor, and people WILL notice the confidence you have in the move rather than the move itself.


1. ive never seen a guy that can dance without a partner

Ive seen plenty, maybe you arent looking in the right places!

2. most girls find it easy to pick up dancing because having a lighter and looser body frame mean you have a looser range of movements that flows more naturally, i would have no problem at all dancing like this the problem is it just looks gay.

I dont think that is true at all..I think its the issue of guys thinking it looks gay that hampers their efforts


3. i've never seen anyone waltzing on a club dance floor.

Thats because Waltz is a difficult dance to do on small crowded floors, and its not easy to glide without proper shoes and surface.

4. no-one learns "moves" to dance to hip hop etc.

True. Hip hop is excellent for that reason, its completely open to interpretation. Confidence is the key here.

5. just telling someone to loosen up, or follow the music, .... isn't going to tell them what to do with their hands

As long as your arms dont flap around wildly and you keep them above your waist line and in time with the music it wont look bad.

ShyDancer said:

4. no-one learns "moves" to dance to hip hop etc.

True. Hip hop is excellent for that reason, its completely open to interpretation. Confidence is the key here.

Click to expand...

You mean "Save the Last Dance" was totally hollywood fakery? There sure seemed to be quite a mix of improvisation with learning and rehearsal in that storyline.

Of course people learn moves - anything they see and copy is learned, even if they then expand on it. The difference is that popular dances tend to be learned informally by observation and experiment, wheras other dance forms such as the ballet family, partner dances, and folk dances are taught in a structured context.

But there's no reason someone couldn't make a structured presentation of common basic "starting point" ideas in an improvised dance style... Those who aren't yet used to picking things up just by watching and then trying would probably appreciate such a head start.

Hip Hop here is aus is very different to anything in Save The Last Dance... in fact I have never seen it danced like that and I used to go to the hip hop clubs every weekend before I had children. So mine is just from a Aussie perspective

Oh, I'm sure the actual dancing was very much dreamed up for the movie... I was just meaning that the idea of learning new things, drilling the details in private, etc seems pretty universal to people who take dancing - of any sort - seriously. A lof of it looks and feels natural, but natural in the context of someone who is already fluent in a a dance style - people who aren't have to find a way to immerse themselves in a dance form before they can be natural at it. Of course if this is mixed into one's childhood practically parallel with simply learning to walk, then the fact that the process took place may not stand out in their memory.

Or perhaps learning to dance *is* just a continuation of learning to walk. That would suggest it's only difficult if you stop at walking and don't try to extend things to dancing until a few decades later, when your mind has long forgotten what it's like to experiment with movement.

I agree with you Chris. I like to draw the analogy of learning to dance with trying to learn a new language. You learn one language growing up, and then afterwards when you try to learn a second language as a young adult you struggle. It's new and unfamiliar. Same for walking/dancing.

And niteclub84 I'm going to be the evil one here and say that you should check out the club dancing thread. :twisted: Everything that people have said so far has already been repeated there. Seriously!!

The idea of dancing as "gay" or certain types of dancing as "gay" is an old one, and a person needs to get rid of this misconception if they are going to learn to dance. I've seen people dance alone in night-clubs, doing freestyle dancing. However, I personally prefer dancing with someone when I go out, always, even if it is a circle of friends. If I want to dance alone I put the music on in my house and dance to it. :wink:

The idea that people of certain body type find it easier to pick up dancing is also another misconception. I've seen people of both gender picking up dance easily and struggle with it. I've seen people growing up in latino households who had a worse time learning latin dancing then those from non-latino households.

When I started to learn dance last year I discovered that my biggest problem was myself. The way I though about dance was what was holding me back. Everytime I looked outside at what others were doing, saying that this person finds it easier because of so and so reason....I just held myself back. Everytime I made an excuse, such as that person is latino so they are natural at it, or people will look at me and see me acting like a fool (equivalent to thinking something is gay) I was doing myself a dis-service. After 1, or 1.5 years, depending on how you look at my dance experiences I'm still a beginner, but I've discovered that doing something new seems odd, maybe uncomfortable, but with time it goes away. The only way it does is by actually doing something about it. If certain movements feel gay practice them alone and eventually they won't feel gay anymore. Let's take AT (Argentine Tango) partner dancing as an example. Very close embrace, full upper body contact!! I did a ton of practicing this past weekend and now I don't find this odd or uncomfortable anymore. Not really.

Not sure what to do with your arms? Go to a night club. Have a drink, and while nursing it concentrate on how guys move their arms. Just their arms and nothing else. How wild are their movements? Do they keep their arms close to their body at all times, and if not, about how much time do their arms move far away from their body. Look at music videos. Then work on your arm movements at home.

Hope this helps, though I'm sure I have just repeated what has been said in the club dancing thread.

thank you everyone, what you've said has helped so much.

also as far as my whole you don't waltz in a club quote, i'm thinking now that it's not the dances that transfer to the club but the skills and rhythms maybe.

anyways, thanks again.