Dance the first dance with someone who can dance?

Anecdotally, I've discovered that if you turn up at a new dance place and dance the first dance badly (usually because you've danced with someone who isn't necessarily au fait with the dance), nobody will dance with you.

On the other hand, if you dance the first dance at a new place well, you're never short of dances for the rest of the evening.

Is this something other girls have found?

Similarly, do the guys in the thread always "watch" a girl dance before they approach them for a dance? Obviously this won't be 100 per cent of the time, but in instances where you ask a girl you don't know to dance, what steps do you take before you pop the question?

By now in my area I'm pretty well known so it isn't an issue. I can get dances wherever I go, whether or not I'm good at the dance, even if I;ve never done it before. I never really subscribed to this whole notion of checking a person out before dancing with them. I suppose when I go to a new place I should do that...hmmm...it does make sense...should prepare myself..okay, I'm all ears. :wink:

MadamSamba said:

Similarly, do the guys in the thread always "watch" a girl dance before they approach them for a dance?

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Usually, but it only takes a few seconds of watching to categorize someone as beginner, intermediate, or probably better than I am.

Off to the ballroom social.

MadamSamba said:

Anecdotally, I've discovered that if you turn up at a new dance place and dance the first dance badly (usually because you've danced with someone who isn't necessarily au fait with the dance), nobody will dance with you.

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Reasons are going to be different in different cases of course. But I don't think everyone is watching every dance. As others have said, aspects of good dancing can stand out even with a very limiting partner; further if most of the people in the venue know each other, observers may already be adjusting what they see in a new person for the known tendancies of the regular she is dancing with.

As a leader the two things that make me most likely to pass over someone at a social are:

1) Making themselves inaccessable, by either sitting well away from the floor, or being constantly engrossed in groups/converstations. I generally won't cold-interrupt an ongoing conversation to ask for a dance, so if someone doesn't look up and make eye contact to invite the interruption, I probably will not ask her to dance. That's not to say that someone needs to shun all company and stare longingly at the floor, but being aware of people walking in her direction would help.

2) Clothing or footwear unsuited to the dance in question. Yes, I will attempt to dance a slow foxtrot with a teammate even if she's in clogs, but for unkowns... if your footwear doesn't look sturdy or your dress looks like it will get in the way, I'm unlikely to ask you to do dance.

Question for others: have you ever noticed a tendancy where if a group of two or three women are talking and one gets asked to dance, often the others quickly are as well? I think this could be that once the conversation is broken up the others are clearly available, plus seeing one couple form up at that point in the room draws the attention of other men looking for partners.

It never ceased to amaze me how much footwear becomes a determining factor on my chance of getting a dance :roll: !!!!!!

Having recently become one of the "dance-shoe changing as soon as you hit the club" member (I have been know previously to dance in platform mules......still do!), I don't think I've gotten more offers or less.

That said, I might have been getting asked by differnt people, as now I may have passed the footwear requirement :lol: :lol: :lol: !

Ok, back to the topic. I can only comment from a salsa perspective, mainly relating to my local scene.

Depends on where you are, and if you are a new face there.

Generally, you will be watched (or judged, like it or not) during the first song, in one of those 'serious' dancer's (ironically hardly any Latinos there apart from the musicians/pro dancers) clubs.

In a more 'Latino' kind of club, you will be asked regardless of your dancing! As long as you are cute or friendly (or both!).

I've had my night sabotaged before (not in my local scene though) by following badly during my first dance. I've been very aware of that ever since.

It's sad isn't it.....? When salsa is meant to be a fun & social activity you actually have a few things (too many) to watch out :roll: !

salsachinita said:

It never ceased to amaze me how much footwear becomes a determining factor on my chance of getting a dance :roll: !!!!!!

Having recently become one of the "dance-shoe changing as soon as you hit the club" member (I have been know previously to dance in platform mules......still do!), I don't think I've gotten more offers or less.

That said, I might have been getting asked by differnt people, as now I may have passed the footwear requirement :lol: :lol: :lol: !

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You may be right about the footwear thing. Several guys here have mentioned NOT asking girls to dance if they're not wearing the right shoes. Not sure why ...

Chris Stratton said:

As a leader the two things that make me most likely to pass over someone at a social are:

2) Clothing or footwear unsuited to the dance in question. Yes, I will attempt to dance a slow foxtrot with a teammate even if she's in clogs, but for unkowns... if your footwear doesn't look sturdy or your dress looks like it will get in the way, I'm unlikely to ask you to do dance.

Question for others: have you ever noticed a tendancy where if a group of two or three women are talking and one gets asked to dance, often the others quickly are as well? I think this could be that once the conversation is broken up the others are clearly available, plus seeing one couple form up at that point in the room draws the attention of other men looking for partners.

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I have danced with many who are wearing flip flops...

As for the 2/3/4/5 women group thing I've noticed it too. Often gents will hesitate to approach a group of people having a conversation. However, if one gent does so and gets accepted then it increases the likelihood that the others are not having a serious / engrossing conversation and will accept offers to dance. It often amuses me when I'm that gent and a minute later I glance in that direction and all the seats are empty.