Correlaton between active dancer and being childless?

Yes my name is Jason and I have been practicing dancing for about 3 months. From the people I have run into it seems that there are many students/teachers that do not have children. Some are too young to tell if they ever will have children but it seems that if you were an avid dancer it might stand to reason kids might interfere with that lifestyle. I am writing to ask people with much more experience than I if they have seen a lot of childless people/couples in the dancing world. To me it is great to see people nurturing a hobby/profession they love rather than a child they felt obligated to create to fill a void in their lives.

Well, I don't know who around me has kids and who doesn't (and sometimes when I find out I'm suprised one way or the other), but as a data point I'm childfree and dance.

People generally don't (or at least shouldn't - which means those who plan things don't) have children until there is a degree of stability and security in their lives, relationships and careers. A lof ot people involved in dancing are single, and perhaps to some degree in the process of trying to figure out what their lives are going to be like.

Amongst competitors it does seem like having children tends to be delayed, either until they've already achieved their goals (the Hiltons, retired from competition, recently had baby) or have reached a point where they can put what they hope to accomplish in enough perspective that they can find room for other obligations, feel comfortable taking some time off, etc.

People with a singleminded focus on dancing probably would not make good parents, so it's best they wait until their priorities change. In some cases that might end up meaning never... but the world has a shortage of attentive parents, not babies.

Welcome to df ruanishtar! Like Laura I do find quite a few social dancers have children and are married. I guess that for professional dancers, it is like any other career, as Chris said. Many couples postpone having kids until they are settled.

There are plenty of childfree dancers. There are plenty of childfree non-dancers, too. I have no idea how to compare, particularly since I don't make a point of asking people about their reproductive status unless I'm interested in dating them.

All I really care about is that they not bring young children to dances! In particular one of the local swing dancers has decided it's OK to bring her infants to every dance she attends. It was bad enough when they were just squalling (and not being immediately removed from the room), but now they're toddling around amidst the dancers. This nonsense needs to stop. Dances are adult entertainment, not a childcare center.

jon said:

All I really care about is that they not bring young children to dances! In particular one of the local swing dancers has decided it's OK to bring her infants to every dance she attends. It was bad enough when they were just squalling (and not being immediately removed from the room), but now they're toddling around amidst the dancers. This nonsense needs to stop. Dances are adult entertainment, not a childcare center.

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Not to mention dangerous to dancers on the floor and the children if they decide it might be fun to go running into the middle of a crowded floor!
I would never consider taking my children to an adult social, there are plenty of kids classes around.
And if you cant get a babysitter, well then your first priority should be as a parent NOT a dancer, regardless of how much you love to dance.

I have 2 young children, it doesnt stop me dancing at all. I only started dancing after they were born so having them didnt have an effect on my dancing.
Although Im lucky that my partner or mother are always available to look after the kids so thats never been an issue either.

There are some dances out there that advertise themselves as "kid friendly." If that's the case, take your kids, I think. Otherwise, hire a sitter. It's a pain and makes the dancing more expensive, but really. The little darlings aren't nearly as darling, if they aren't yours.

I personally believe in "it depends" on whether to take your children or not, how old the child is, the type of event etc.

My parents took us partically everywhere with them. We knew we had to behaviour otherwise once we got home, we would not have been able to sit down for a week :?

I have been to places where there were children and the children were causing chaos whilst the parents a) did nothing b) were clearly thinking how cute the children where or c) pretending that the children did not belong to them and still did nothing. I have also been to places where children were there and dancing themselves. So, I think it should be upto the parents to KNOW their children and recognise that the child will either be a pleasure for those around them or a terror.

At my first salsa weekender, one of the local teachers brought his son on the final afternoon (Sunday). The boy was about 5 years old. We spotted this boy doing his little thing in a corner :shock: I don't believe one female left there that evening not having fallen in love with him and not one guy left the venue not wishing they could be him! :lol: I feel very grateful that the teacher brought his son along, who incidentally he says he never taught - the son just watched the classes.

One of my fondest memories was seeing the boy and his father doing footwork/shines. It was beautiful - there was such innocence

I was at an all day event a couple of years ago where my sister took her son along. He was totally taken with the music and alternating on the shoulders of the men in the group. His ethusiasm was so infectious, other people got up and danced too!

So I say, bring children as long as the child knows how to behave in public/the parent have a handle on the child. :banana:

Good point, Pacion.

I remember spending a couple hours in a dance workshop with a couple who brought along their sweet tempered, quiet infant. There was absolutely no problem, and, on the few occasions when the baby wanted attention, either the Mom or the Dad excsed him/herself, and took care of it. Perfectly fine with me.


On the other hand, I remember a dance workshop I attended where a young couple couldn't keep their three year old off the floor. Both Mom and Dad insisted on dancing, and their little one kept joining them on the floor and disrupting the class. After the fifteenth time tripping over him, he didn't seem too cute to me.

I think it's a matter of using your best judgment. The only problem is that parenthood sometimes changes people's best judgment a bit. Sometimes parents get used to the noise and interruptions that kids make, so they don't notice how disruptive it can be, it seems. The people around them aren't so lucky. Grr.

pygmalion said:

On the other hand, I remember a dance workshop I attended where a young couple couldn't keep their three year old off the floor. Both Mom and Dad insisted on dancing, and their little one kept joining them on the floor and disrupting the class. After the fifteenth time tripping over him, he didn't seem too cute to me.

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He wouldn't have seem so cute to me either, which is where the parents were wrong. If the child had stayed on the side and 'played' or the parents were perhaps on the sidelines to give him attention, your memories would be better ones :?

Line in a recent Bravo channel "reality show" to a couple about to have a baby: "say goodbye to your life as you know it"...

I'd suggest the "childless dancer" effect has less to do with dancers making active choices to not have children and more to do with adults-with-children not having the free time to spend on A), learning how to dance, and B), going out dancing.

I'll bet dancers-with-children were most likely dancers-before-children.

I don't have kids myself, but the lives of my friends that do revolve around the kiddies until they're out on their own. Not that there's anything wrong with that ...

Debbie Ramsey and Wesley Boz run their monthly dances at the Raleigh YW/M?CA and they have on-site childcare. Oh yeah, Debbie and Wes do have two kids. You can guess it's no coincidence that child- and family-friendly accommodations were specifically arranged in this instance. I certainly wish there could be more situations where one can bring young kids (not under 4 though) to dances.

I think on-site child care is something that more dance organizers should look into, if they can.

Well

Yes it is true children should not be brought where adults are being taught without supervision. I mean no matter how cute they are is it still not considered distraction? Technically speaking I am not sure why people have children in the first place. I have never heard a child that wasn't created complaining. It seems strange people cannot end another's life but they can create one. Who do you know ask to be born? Anyone who creates a child is in some way or another playing the role of God. In fact are they not making someone in their image? Are they not ruler/programmer/creator/leader/provider to this individual due to the biasness that comes from them being the chosen people (offspring). I mean if a child playing T-Ball is so cute why don't just go watch one at random? A person probably would say "They aren't mine" which is a common capitalistic statement. To me creating children is selfish and as far as bringing them to dance classes it just shows an additional inconsideration to the child, group, and to themselves for lacking the ability to consider others in the process of making a decision.

jon said:

All I really care about is that they not bring young children to dances! In particular one of the local swing dancers has decided it's OK to bring her infants to every dance she attends. It was bad enough when they were just squalling (and not being immediately removed from the room), but now they're toddling around amidst the dancers. This nonsense needs to stop. Dances are adult entertainment, not a childcare center.

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I couldn't agree more. It's my pet rant at the moment!!! It seems to be an epidemic in the town I live in - bringing children not just to dances, but to all kinds of venues that I would consider "adult" such at the theatre, good restaurants, cafes etc. I choose not to be surrounded by children and it does annoy me when parents seem to think that they don't have to alter their pre-child lifestyle in any way. Get a baby sitter for God's sake! I don't have children and the jury is still out on whether I will have them - I don't feel as strongly about it as ruanishtar but I definitely think that just because you can have children doesn't necessarily mean you should.

This town is "a great place to raise kids" and consequently there are a lot of people in my studio who have kids and do bring them along. I don't have a problem with it if the kids can behave themselves but sadly this seems to be pretty rare these days. But to be honest, it surprises me to hear so many people expressing a similar sentiment, because I thought I was just a scary old kid-hating freak! And me in my prime breeding years too...