Let's Talk About Trust, Baby!

By now, I'm sure we all know how essential trust is to a good dance partnership -- teacher/student, partner/partner, or even strangers in a nightclub. There's a certain amount of trust required.

Let's talk about that a little. Is there any dance relationship you've had that benefitted from or was killed by trust, or the lack of it? Have you ever done something specific to build trust? How important is trust in your relationship with your coach and/or students?

well, I have never lost any trust in anyone (in the dance area) before but I am learning to trust my fellow dance instructor that I practice with every day. We have been practicing me falling backwards into his arms (very scary). When I finally got up the nerve to just go for the gusto HE CAUGHT ME! I was pleasantly surprised and I gained trust!

My coach does two cool trust-related things.

1. The infamous, "do it blindfolded" exercise. Builds both trust and following skills.

2. Something he calls "counter-sync". Don't know if that's the official name, or just a cool name he made up.

Goes like this. It's hard to describe, but I'll make an attempt.

Make a connection to your partner, any connection. Maybe hand to hand or maybe something weird, like hand to shoulder, or hip to hip. Then take turns moving around the connection, creating the weirdest, most extended, oblique or imaginative body movements you can think of.

Maybe develope with the right leg, bend over backwards as far as you can, or something similar. The whole time, you have to trust your partner to keep the connection and not let you fall down. Then, of course, you switch places and hold the connection while your partner does the stretching.

Absolutely terrifying the first several times, but you do build trust.

that's an interesting technique. I am going to have to try it!!

Trust was a big issue for me and my coach, maybe because I'd been badly burned by a previous teacher. It took us a long time, and lots of effort, to get to the point where I could trust him as much as I needed to.

I saw a show today which had a lot of dancers (16 people on stage, or so) and :shock: talk about flips, lifts, dancers flying threw the air to be caught by a group of other dancers :shock: and they were moving with such speed! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall during their rehearsals to see how they built up their trust

I was almost sitting on the edge of my seat, thinking that at any moment there is going to be collision but thankfully no collisions happened which made even more breathtaking.

I was impressed by a couple of partners who would voluntarily close their eyes when dancing with me on crowded floors.

I killed a dance partnership becase I didn't trust my partner on pretty much any level and so would try to micromange him. It was a weird situation, he did need some managing but I went way overboard.

I didn't enjoy another partnership again because I didn't trust my partner on a dance level.

Gee, do I have trust issues or something?

jon said:

I was impressed by a couple of partners who would voluntarily close their eyes when dancing with me on crowded floors.

Click to expand...

In my case this is almost an automatic reaction... .

MacMoto said:

jon said:

I was impressed by a couple of partners who would voluntarily close their eyes when dancing with me on crowded floors.

Click to expand...

In my case this is almost an automatic reaction... .

Click to expand...

Sometimes I like to close my eyes while leading. When I follow I also like to close my eyes. :wink:

We haven't actually done any specific exercises, but I have gained trust in my instructor, just through the process of him teaching me. By far the biggest impact on trust has been working on showcases together.

The number of spins out to a catch or a dip, I was wary at first, but once I knew that he wouldn't drop me, I was fine. Just dancing close takes a lot of trust as well. Knowing that neither of us will take "liberties" makes it very comfortable to do some of the sexier moves.

In my latest routine he is putting in a neck drop. Have had two lessons with this, and am starting to be able to throw myself into it, because, even though it is a new move to both of us, I know that he will pull me out of it if he isn't ready.

We joke about me ending up on the floor, but I know it won't happen.

My instructor today wanted to know what I wanted to accomplish with the lesson. I explained I was struggling with the transitions from one series of steps to the next. I told her since I was so new to Vienese Waltz whatever she felt was best to work on the basics was ok with me. Sometimes just letting the instructor set the course of the lesson is best, and this one was not an exception to this.

jon said:

I was impressed by a couple of partners who would voluntarily close their eyes when dancing with me on crowded floors.

Click to expand...

There are certain leads (good friends of mine) who I almost always clost my eyes with. I know they won't run me into anyone no matter how crowded the dance floor is. If a follow closes their eyes when you lead them, I would take it as a compliment 8)