The agony of being a good dancer... and alone.

Here's a dilemma.

You want to compete. You're the only good [male] dancer in a small (semi-remote) community. There is a decent-size partner pool in town, but no one really matches up to your skill. You have to drive 2 (two) hours just to find partners who might measure up to your dancing. There are no good coaches in town to even do a Pro/Am with. Two hours away, the three good followers who can give you a run for your money are all taken. Can't really relocate...

Do you--

Look for a partner who lives two hours away and drive to every practice?
Look for a decent newbie who's in town and train them?
Have a willing partner relocate?
Relocate and move to where the good ones are?

Regardless of circumstance (Level A or E, Bronze or Champion, Amateur/Pro, etc...) What do you think?

madmaximus

Whatever works...It's not even being a 'good' dancer. It's about finding that compatible partner. Sometimes they can even be thousands of miles away! And you just have to make it work.

Pros do that, amateurs do that.

Training newbie is always an option. You never know when your partner may leapfrog you. May be you'll be pleasantly surprised that is sooner than you think.

I speak from experience. As long as it's a compatible partner, it's all worthwhile...

How did you get to be so good if the local talent pool is so...shallow?

I'm amazed how ballroom seems strongly related to competition in DF. I've been taking ballroom classes, and dancing it socially, for years, but 98,5 per cent of my ballroom life has nothing to do with competition. (one per cent is because I know a couple who does compete, and the last half per cent for one bronze medal I once helped to pass, the lady needed a partner.)

newbie said:

I'm amazed how ballroom seems strongly related to competition in DF. I've been taking ballroom classes, and dancing it socially, for years, but 98,5 per cent of my ballroom life has nothing to do with competition.

Click to expand...

This may be true at first, but past a certain level of development, something like competition seems to be needed as an excuse or justification to work on and practice dancing at the kind of level many of us want to. I really wish there were social opportunities at a comparable level, but there really are not. You either see something that is very formal with really limited dancing, or you see competitors partying informally, but with wonderful dancing.

an international latin teacher i know insists that ballroom is danced "socially" in "europe," unlike in the US where it is very closely tied to competition. is that true?

swan said:

Whatever works...It's not even being a 'good' dancer. It's about finding that compatible partner. Sometimes they can even be thousands of miles away! And you just have to make it work.

Pros do that, amateurs do that.

Training newbie is always an option. You never know when your partner may leapfrog you. May be you'll be pleasantly surprised that is sooner than you think.

I speak from experience. As long as it's a compatible partner, it's all worthwhile...

Click to expand...

Welcome to DF swan! Thanks for the reply.

Would you say then, that finding a compatible partner (if available) is preferable to training a newbie? What do you do in the meantime--while waiting for that compatible partner--expecially if there's a newbie with good potential waiting at the wings? Keep training alone, drive? Fly?

Let's make it a little more complicated. What if you have very limited time to devote to your dancing. Do you *waste* your time commuting, for the sake of dancing with a quality partner?

What if finding a compatible partner would take more time than training a newbie to dance at your level?

I know a number of dancers (of varying skill levels) who are faced with this dilemma too.

m

Joe said:

How did you get to be so good if the local talent pool is so...shallow?

Click to expand...

This thread is partially theoretical--as I know a few others [men and women] in this same situation. Most had been dancing with a good partner who either had to leave or stop for personal reasons. Others were simply leap-frogged.

Personally, I had the benefit of top teachers in another city, before I moved to this town. Then I was lucky enough to partner with a lady who used to dance at the international level (and was very good at it--judging from the amount of medals in her display case). But she decided to retire a few years ago.

madmaximus.

alemana said:

an international latin teacher i know insists that ballroom is danced "socially" in "europe," unlike in the US where it is very closely tied to competition. is that true?

Click to expand...

Here I can dance ballroom socially once a month. If I really scan the opportunities it would amount to once a week. Not counting the parties organized by studios of course.

newbie said:

Here I can dance ballroom socially once a month. If I really scan the opportunities it would amount to once a week. Not counting the parties organized by studios of course.

Click to expand...

From the other side of the house, once a week isn't enough practice to maintain basic skills.

alemana said:

an international latin teacher i know insists that ballroom is danced "socially" in "europe," unlike in the US where it is very closely tied to competition. is that true?

Click to expand...

This too, is second hand information. From what I've been told by my mentors, the Paso Doble is danced socially in France and the Philippines.

Also, the American Style is only recently gaining popularity in Europe (again according to my UK-based mentor--she's had more requests for American style lessons this last five years). Most of the dancers there have been weaned on the International style--hence, that is what they would naturally dance socially.

madmaximus

Chris Stratton said:

newbie said:

I'm amazed how ballroom seems strongly related to competition in DF. I've been taking ballroom classes, and dancing it socially, for years, but 98,5 per cent of my ballroom life has nothing to do with competition.

Click to expand...

This may be true at first, but past a certain level of development, something like competition seems to be needed as an excuse or justification to work on and practice dancing at the kind of level many of us want to. I really wish there were social opportunities at a comparable level, but there really are not. You either see something that is very formal with really limited dancing, or you see competitors partying informally, but with wonderful dancing.

Click to expand...

Hmmm. This reminds me of my jazz band days. Some how being part of a jazz band with performances and competitions did elevate us. We could have gotten together and had jam sessions but I doubt we would have been as good. I wonder what I'm getting myself into.

Still some salsa dancers seem very good without competitions.

tacad said:

Still some salsa dancers seem very good without competitions.

Click to expand...

If ballroom had half as much popular participation as salsa, you might start to see people approaching it differently. (And to a limited extent, when the large Boston collegiate teams get together, you in fact do see a much more social take on things).

But the dances are also different - although ballroom was originally and briefly a "deviant" dance, for generations its been a formalized one, wheras even though salsa makes appearences in organized classes and studios, it's still much more of an informal club dance.

madmaximus said:

Here's a dilemma.

You want to compete. You're the only good [male] dancer in a small (semi-remote) community. There is a decent-size partner pool in town, but no one really matches up to your skill. You have to drive 2 (two) hours just to find partners who might measure up to your dancing. There are no good coaches in town to even do a Pro/Am with. Two hours away, the three good followers who can give you a run for your money are all taken. Can't really relocate...

Do you--

Look for a partner who lives two hours away and drive to every practice?
Look for a decent newbie who's in town and train them?
Have a willing partner relocate?
Relocate and move to where the good ones are?

Click to expand...

In a (kind of*) similar situation, I'm opting to train a newer partner. Well, I'm not really TRAINING him, but I've decided to work with someone who is not quite at my level so that we can grow together as a pair.

*It's not REALLY the same situation. I live near a big city with a large number of potential partners. However, I'm a franchise instructor, and in order to make my life a LOT easier, I really need to find another pro from the same franchise to partner with (in order to limit the amount of wrath that will fall on me from on high :wink: ). That makes it tough. The best male pros (well above my level) are already taken, or are no longer interested in competing. And if they were, they probably wouldn't be seeking someone like me for a partner. There are a few that are about my level, but the ones that aren't taken are mostly obnoxious, egotistical or lazy (hence the fact that they aren't taken :wink: ). My new partner is not quite up to my level of dancing, but we get along well, we're comfortable dancing together, and we're both willing and excited to work on our dancing. So, deciding to work with him is definitely the best choice for me. Luckily, we do have some good local coaches to work with, which will help a lot.

I think the overall answer to your question, though, is going to vary a lot on a situation by situation basis. It will depend on whether you're talking about pros or amateurs, how much time and money people are willing to invest, the distance (for travel) involved, and the extent to which the local talent is good enough to be worth investing that kind of effort in.

Chris Stratton said:

tacad said:

Still some salsa dancers seem very good without competitions.

Click to expand...

If ballroom had half as much popular participation as salsa, you might start to see people approaching it differently. (And to a limited extent, when the large Boston collegiate teams get together, you in fact do see a much more social take on things).

But the dances are also different - although ballroom was originally and briefly a "deviant" dance, for generations its been a formalized one, wheras even though salsa makes appearences in organized classes and studios, it's still much more of an informal club dance.

Click to expand...

Yup we don't have too many ballroom dances in our area. However, there are many dance mixes, and often a waltz or foxtrot can be done during swing dances... Perhaps this is why it is good that I have a street latin addiction.