Should I tell her I am a beginner?

When I ask a woman to dance, should I tell her that I am a beginner?

The studio that I go to has practice parties. There are people of every level at the parties. I really want to practice leading, but I do not know very much yet. These are practice parties, not clubs.

Any thoughts?

Honestly, i wouldn't bother. I dance with people of all levels and I don't mind dancing with beginners (i'm a beginner myself!!). If you're worried about those having not-so-nice attitudes, you should avoid them no matter what level they are. Think of this way, it's a practice party, people are there to practice!

Good luck!

I warn people that I'm a beginner, that I'm injured, not to step on my feet as I'm dancing bare foot...all sorts of stuff, particularly now. If I scare them off My feet can deal with the resting.

But, this aside...when I started out i would let people know about that as I knew there were those out there who would show from their expressions that I was beneath them. I would rather get it out of the way so they dance from the start willingly knowing what to expect, and if they put me down I wouldn't ask them again as they were not worth it, as Lynn says. I prefered a rejection at the start rather then a torturous dance of 4 minutes with the lady gramiacing or acting bored.

Oh..and welcome to df diputsnyc.

Before having a steady gf & dance partner, sometimes females would ask me to dance (at swing dances this is) but I have a rather unique style (Street Swing) that's easily followable if you are energetic. But I'd get asked by women who can't "keep up" and neither of us enjoy it.

I don't think saying that you're a beginner when you are the one asking is necessary, but I think follows asking leads to dance should watch their target dance before asking. Imagine an ECS-only follow asking a lead who only dances Lindy -- that follow's in for a surprise... :wink:

I think I forgot to say that when I dance with a leader whom I'm not familiar with, I usually tell them I'm a beginner before we start so he won't be leading moves that are difficult for my level.

At a practice party? Don't tell them. 95% chance they're in the same boat too. People go to those to....practice! we know that it's unlikely a world champ is going to be in there. Practice parties are people of all levels working out something or another, and it's expected that people will be of varying degrees of skill level. If there's a couple that isn't dancing with anyone else, best bet is to not interupt, they're probably working on something imparticular.

What form of dance and what studio (I tend to frequent Dance Manhattan and Stepping Out, but only for swing)

Diavo said:

I don't think saying that you're a beginner when you are the one asking is necessary, but I think follows asking leads to dance should watch their target dance before asking.

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same goes the other way around, doesn't it?

now that i'm practicing my lead skills, i watch the ladies first. See if they're more or less my level. than i ask them (unless i know them, than i often ask 'up'). that way you're never in trouble (unless you over- or underestimate your own abillities :wink

What you must understand as a lead, is that the lady is much more dependant on the lead's dancing level for her own level of dancing, than vice versa.
an experienced lead can do relative simple turnpaterns for the lady and then amuse himself with tripple spins or whatever.
an experienced follow dancing with a beginner lead can do NO SUCH THING!!
it would be VERY rude for her to go tripple spinning while her partner is leading a single. and bad following as well.
Now i don't mean that the only enjoyment of the dance is in the difficulty. i'd rather be dancing with a relative beginner who dances ON TIME, knows not too many patterns, but LEADS WHAT HE KNOWS WELL, than with a so called advanced lead who is off beat and janks me through the patterns. Or for instance if the guy is a friend of mine, i dance with him no matter his level.

But... and maybe this sounds harsh... we're all there to enjoy our selves...and for me this goes especially for some favourite mambosongs... some songs just cry out for a really great dance, a challenge, a 'fix', ... and than i'd rather not dance.. than not be able to completely 'give myself' to the music (and my partner).... so then i would say 'no'... No offence meant to the less experienced... but later try to find the guy for an other song.

Bottomline:
i'd say it if i were asking some-one above my level of leading. She'd be probably more patient with my mistakes... And if she's doesn't care for dancing with less experienced leads, well, better now it now, than while dancing, like Sagitta said.

I wouldn't say a thing. No need to handicap yourself. Just ask her to dance nicely and do your best.

If you are having trouble doing anything then I would advise you tell her. But if you can do even a couple of basic steps then don't tell her. She'll figure out quickly what level you're at and dance accordingly. But whatever makes you feel comfortable. It doesn't matter that much either way.

leftfeetnyc said:

What form of dance and what studio (I tend to frequent Dance Manhattan and Stepping Out, but only for swing)

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I went to Dancesport for a Hustle class and a Salsa class. Then I went to the Hustle Practice Party.

My biggest problem is just getting over my own fears. I get really nervous dancing with women. I get scared if they are good looking. The women in class that I danced with and the women at the party terrified me. Why do all you women have to be so beautiful?

diputsnyc said:

Why do all you women have to be so beautiful?

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so you would ask us

africana said:

diputsnyc said:

Why do all you women have to be so beautiful?

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so you would ask us

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She's got a point there...

I think it's wise to tell her you're a beginner if you ask a girl who's more advanced than you. There are a lot of advanced female dancers who are nice and will be willing to dance with you, and may even give you some valuable tips on leading. But there are also others who are too proud to dance with beginners.