How to swap teachers...diplomatically?

Hi, folks. I've been dancing for little over a year and I've had only one instructor for private lessons. I like my instructor and while he's a beautiful and competant dancer of all styles, his strength is modern.

I've done a new vogue medal with him and am working on silver. The next lot I want to do is latin and there are other teachers at my studio who are better technically and aesthetically with latin and I'd rather do lessons with them. I can't afford two privates a week, so after I've done the silver new vogue medal, I intend to go straight into bronze latin, but with another instructor.

Any advice on how I can break the news to my teacher without looking disloyal or insulting him? We get on well, but I don't want it to look like I'm finished learning from him and am ditching him because I've found someone better. How have you swapped teachers in the past?

Using the "One Minute Manager" technique:

Tell him how truly wonderful he has been in helping you with your dancing. maybe give him a small gift as a small token of your appreciation. Then let him know that you will be pursuing Latin dancing for a while. Maybe you could ask him which teacher he thinks would be best for you.

Keep in mind that losing students is part of being a dance teacher, and I'm sure he has dealt with similar situations in the past.

This is a tough one, MadamSamba. I have switched teachers a few times, but because I was taking multiple lessons, I just weaned one while increasing the other. The ugliness happened when I switched studios completely. The very nice people I used to study with just didn't want to let me go. The thing is, not only is ego involved, but livelihood is involved too. A lot depends on the personality of your instructor.

If you plan to stay at the same studio, your best bet is probably to sit down with your current instructor and tell the truth. Don't say that he's BAD at Latin. Maybe say he's known for smooth. Or something like that. But let him know in no uncertain terms that you have to move on, in order to reach your goals. If he's a good guy, he'll let you go

Accentuate the positive and it is difficult to go wrong. Make sure that there is nothing negative in the entire conversation. I've even said things like "I'm interested in trying out a different teaching style". [Talk of possible bad reactions to something like that!] However, this was to an instructor who said that one can always learn something new from different people; who noticed that I exhibited greater enthuisasam then the other people in my class for learning to dance, and even took the time to offer tips on how to improve before class, during breaks....I knew that this guy would not take what I said the wrong way, and anyway that wasn't the entire substance of our conversation. But, if you've been with an instructor that long you probably know what to say/do if you just trust yourself.

I've not had a problem personally. There are no studios in Ithaca, but I have taken some private lessons/group lessons with different instructors switching between them. One month I did latin with one and the next I did swing with the other. I have always made it clear that the switching was solely because of my changing focus. While the instructors all can do the various dances they acknowledge that there are others from whom it is better to learn as that is their primary dance, the one they love to danec and teach. Why should there be a problem in this case? I don't see any, never did, and never had!! I also dance with these instructors socially and haven't seen my switching around affect our social dances. Granted I've not been dancing for long so perhaps the instructors don't view me as that big a source of income, unlike doing dance with one instructor for as long as you have MadamSamba.

In fact I have switched to latin again, as I am finishing my lindy class, and just took a private with the latin instructor so that I could jump into the ongoing casino rueda class.

That's good advice, Sagitta. Keep it positive. But be prepared for any outcome. I've had a teacher get verbally abusive with me, I've had one act mortally injured, and I've had one who ignored me as much as possible until my lessons with him were done. People can get strange when their livelihood is involved.

MadamSamba said:

Any advice on how I can break the news to my teacher without looking disloyal or insulting him? We get on well, but I don't want it to look like I'm finished learning from him and am ditching him because I've found someone better. How have you swapped teachers in the past?

Click to expand...

We're going through the same thing. We have a terrific teacher who, as a 13-time regional champion, has been great for giving us rock solid technique, but we feel it's time to work with someone younger who can provide the high-energy look we want in our performances. So we decided to work with a second teacher at a different studio. One of the benefits is that we can try out the new teacher and see what the chemistry is like. It also lets us gradually move from the one, cutting down the number of lessons as we build up with the other. And the optics are good because it won't look as if we've dumped one teacher in the same studio in favor of a different one. As members of both studios we can practice in either location.

Whether a teacher feels insulted depends on the individual personality as much as how you handled it. No matter how nice and encouraging you are, some people find it hard to handle rejection of any type and will be unpleasant about it.

What counts is doing what you need to do for yourself, not doing something because of someone else's reaction.

I'd also just like to add in that, as much as there may be some genuine affection between teachers and student(s) it is still, ultimately a business relationship. Yes, you may have got a lot from them... but that in no way means you shouldn't be able to move on if that entails getting more somewhere else.

As far as keeping it positive, I think that one good way to go about it entails saying that you just want a different perspective on dancing and, as long as you're starting up a new style, it seemed like a good opportunity to get two for the price of one.

I can empathize with MadamSamba. I've been with the same Pro for a long while now, and even longer if I add in the years that she was our dance team coach.

I'm toying with the idea of trying someone new, just so I can get some "new stuff," etc.

I really feel like I will create friction, so it's a tough call, but I guess I need to keep as a business since it's not a realtionship! But . . . . . .

Yes. It's hard. Okay so bottom line it IS a business relationship, but it's also a very intimate relationship. Physically intimate (as in dancing in someone's embrace), and sometimes emotionally intimate (as in friendship) as well. One of the teachers I had to leave, the one who acted injured, has actually held me while I cried, listened to my stories, and been a truly good friend to me. For years. It was so hard to tell him I was moving on. But I had to, because I had grown beyond what he could teach me. It's not a cut and dried thing.

Yes, very hard. I have genuine feelings for my dance partner (Pro). Not the "I love you" or "let's have an affair" kinda of feelings, but as very good friends. The laughs, the tears, the injuries, the sad stories, family good and bad talks, and thousands of dances with her, etc.

So, it's more than a business-like relationship . . . ???

It is hard to switch. Like Jonathan said, though, you have to remember that it's a business relationship, first and foremost. It's especially hard when you realize you've "outgrown" a teacher, and need to move on. I'm lucky in that there's no way I could ever have that problem with my current instructor, but I have had that problem in the past, I know the feeling.

I'm curious how the teacher swapping went.

I also wanted to add that sometimes it's good to alternate teachers and have one for Latin and one for smooth (for example).

Oh, dear, DanceMentor...dare I admit that I read every word of everyone's advice then wussed out of telling him. It's not that I am too scared (I don't want to hurt him, though I know it's part of the job), it's that he is such a great teacher in his style, that I'm loathed to move to another style while still having sooooo much to learn from this one...while my love is salsa and latin, I adore modern and he's brilliant at it...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'll probably still be with him this time next year...gosh darnit!

Hug! I understand. It's not easy at all. *sigh* :?

Definately not easy . . .