How to avoid close embrace

M

MadamSamba

Member
There's one chap I dance with a lot who drives me nuts. It's not that I don't enjoy dancing with him, but I definitely don't enjoy dancing in the very close tango embrace, cheek to cheek.

Inevitably, when I've wrangled my way back into a less "familiar" embrace, he finagles me back into it...do any of the tango lasses have tips on avoiding the embrace altogether. On the flip side, how do the fellows among us know that a gal doesn't wish to dance so close?
 
MadamSamba said:
\On the flip side, how do the fellows among us know that a gal doesn't wish to dance so close?
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I can usually tell by the woman's body language. Generally, you can feel when your partner is uncomfortable or not enjoying herself.
 
Ah, but sanityheaven, you sound like a nice one, someone who actually pays attention to that feeling. The fellow I'm talking about knows full well I don't like it but continues to do it. I'm just gonna have to stop dancing with him...it's not icky or creepy, just uncomfortable. I dance close embrace with plenty of people, but sometimes it just doesn't work! :)
 
MadamSamba said:
Ah, but sanityheaven, you sound like a nice one, someone who actually pays attention to that feeling.
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:oops:

An uncomfortable close embrace is more difficult to deal with in Tango since it is a more intimate dance. Even so, the guy should respect the ladies space. It's shame to have to cut someone out of your dance card, but if he's not pleasent to dance with, then so be it.
 
Maybe you should be blunt and tell him you are not comfortable with the close embrace yet, especially if you don't do it with others either.
 
if he knows, then i woulsn't dsnce with him. he's a deliveratw creeep & doesn't csre, or juxt likes to see you uncomdorgavle.

by not telling him or vontinuing to dance with him, you are confoning it, like ldtting a colt get aqay wiht nipping his hsndler.
 
A heavily wired bra, might do the trick with pointy metal bits like Madonna used to wear.

But just tell him; if he's a gentleman he'll do as you ask; otherwise he's a creep.
 
You put your left hand on his biceps, your palm towards him, your thumb and index like a claw. No need to squeeze, you just put gently your hand this way (and not the usual wrapping way, with your palm towards yourself).
This way, there always will be the distance of your forearm between you and him. There is absolutely no way he can come closer, he can't extend his arm and will have to dance in an open embrace.
This technique was taught to us by our teacher, your own teacher sure knows it too. Maybe he/she can show you, because it's easier to explain it in situ than with words.
 
ponidancer said:
if he knows, then i woulsn't dsnce with him. he's a deliveratw creeep & doesn't csre, or juxt likes to see you uncomdorgavle.

by not telling him or vontinuing to dance with him, you are confoning it, like ldtting a colt get aqay wiht nipping his hsndler.
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Do you have huge fingers?
 
:shock: How come you don´t see anyone starting a thread with "How to get a closer embrace" :shock: :wink:

Seriously now, I frequently dance Kizomba which is an African dance. You are supposed to dance real close. When I don´t know the girl well I usually start dancing at a comfortable distance from her. As the song goes on, I slowly get closer. If I see she´s not comfortable with that , I´ll pull away immediately. As Sanity says, you can easily tell by her body language.

Anyway Kizomba and Tango are very sensual dances, if you dance close you can lead better and it feels like you´re dancing as one. If by any reason one of them doesn´t feel comfortable with the distance you should pull away into a comfort zone.
 
Stop dancing with the creep.

MapleLeaf Salsero has a good point about how a guy can judge how close is comfortable for a woman.

And this is really something that should develop over several dances, not just the first one. Those are the getting-acquainted dances.

Later, after you know someone and what they like, you can go immediately to a close embrace.

When I dance I shift from close to more open, then back to close, depending on the needs of figure I'm leading. After almost 14 years dancing the tango this is automatic. I don't even notice it anymore unless there's a problem which brings it to my attention.

That is, I practice Zen tango!
 
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