Student Challenges Prevalent in the Pro-am Structure

Okay, new challenge of pro/am for this thread. I am my pro's only out of town student who does not come to his studio - we meet halfway. So, lesson scheduling becomes a nightmare. I only get the chance to dance on weekends while his local students dance several times a week. Which, despite all of my very constant efforts to squash it, results in frustration on my end when his other students get the showcases, the special events, and the social invitations. I get a fantastic pro who is professional and focuses on my progress for competition and generally takes good care of me, so I have no cause for complaint - and feel guilty when I notice he is offering up all of the "fun stuff" to his other students.

Believe me, I am VERY grateful that I have a pro who drives halfway to my location to meet at someone else's studio and doesn't charge me extra for it. I know exactly how lucky I am to have that. But, come competition time when he has multiple students in attendance I am inevitably and always the outsider with everyone but my pro, and despite all efforts to change that it is getting progressively worse.

I'm venting here...because, honestly, I'm used to it and mostly over it. My goals are competition. It would just be nice if I didn't feel like I was in competition with my pro's other students. Something that, to me, is VERY unique to pro/am. And, I should also quickly state it is not the fault of my pro, who is doing his job - it is just me dealing with a very strange dynamic.
 
GGinrhinestones said:
I'm venting here...because, honestly, I'm used to it and mostly over it. My goals are competition. It would just be nice if I didn't feel like I was in competition with my pro's other students. Something that, to me, is VERY unique to pro/am. And, I should also quickly state it is not the fault of my pro, who is doing his job - it is just me dealing with a very strange dynamic.
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It's a strange dynamic that can reach some eyebrow raising levels in pro-am. This subject can get really ugly, so I'm hoping that if people do approach it, they will do so in a general and respectful manner.

That said, yes not only is there an issue of how a pro allocates entries at and for competitions, events and the like - but there is also the issue of student competitiveness or "rivalries" that can develop under the same pro. I'm not saying this is the case for you GGinR...just generalizing the topic a bit.

On any pro-am "team" I am part of, I am always very careful to try to diffuse any type of animosity that might arise due to a perceived student "status" with a pro, and I believe building a team dynamic with all is the wise choice.

And, I do believe it's best if the pro is as fair as possible and has preset ground rules going in as to how he/she allocates comps etc. among the students.
 
I feel very fortunate in that this has never been an overt problem w/either pro in my 7 1/2 years of dancing...mostly because divas usually leave when they don't get what they want...and everyone else seems to understand working together...while I think my FP had a small tendency to try to placate difficult people, I think my current pro is really very business like in this regard, and doesn't much suffer that sort of thing vey well...having said that, as a long distance student, I do empathize with the fact that it can leave one feeling like an outsider from the local scene as relationships form and you simply aren't a part of that..and things happen at the studio and you are the last to know, but they probably also imagine favoritism because he travels to you as well...I think a certain portion of this is unavoidable...to me pro/am seems a bit like having sister wives without the benefits..and you have to focus on the benefits and not compare the way it gets split or who likes whom better...etc...but I get your need to vent...hug
 
GGin, I am not sure if I understand correctly. I know you have to travel for lessons, but why would that prevent you from being part of showcases, special events and social occasions? Are you not invited or is it just too far to travel for those events too?
 
Latingal - I agree with everything you said. There are some very wise thoughts here. I’m where I am now with this situation in part because I learned the hard way. It’s a difficult side of pro/am. In theory, students with the same pro shouldn’t feel competition among one another, but in fact it’s difficult to avoid it completely. As fasc said, I think a certain amount of it is unavoidable. For the most part, my pro is very good at keeping things fair and equitable among his students, so I have no complaints there.

From a social standpoint, believe me, I have tried to diffuse any animosity and build a team spirit as nicely as possible, but…well, the short answer is that it isn’t one, and won’t be one any time soon. I come from an environment where everything I do is part of a team effort, so this is particularly difficult for me. I’m resigned to it, though. Again, as fasc said, “you have to focus on the benefits” and not all of the other stuff. I think it’s doubly hard because I started at that studio, as a local student, and then left…so I actually did build relationships with many of the people there, which have since changed over time.

Thank you both for your support!
 
GGinR, sometimes no matter how much you try to be a positive influence on a situation, there are times that you won't be able to effect the embedded or developing dynamic. It sounds like you've done what you could, and now have had to take the only path left....try to make it a positive situation for yourself. Brava.

And I do appreciate the need to vent....heaven knows I've been on both sides of that coin (ventee and ventor - LOL!).

Hope that all goes as well as it can!
 
debmc said:
GGin, I am not sure if I understand correctly. I know you have to travel for lessons, but why would that prevent you from being part of showcases, special events and social occasions? Are you not invited or is it just too far to travel for those events too?
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It's a bit of both, but mostly the former. The last two showcases weren't really offered to me as an option, though I attended both as a spectator. As for the other stuff...well, without going into too many details, it is a definite lack of invitation on the part of other students. So, once again, resigned to just letting it be, accepting the lack of team spirit, and focusing on my dancing. And whining on DF. ;)
 
my empathy on this GG...while sometimes I feel out of the loop at my studio, I also love the fact that I am not embroiled in any of the local stressors ...it cuts both ways...I have decided that I am actually better off
 
So sorry to hear this GGin, but I would just put all that energy to focus on your dancing. It sounds like your pro is supportive of you and so just focus on what you are working on and ignore the rest. What is that saying... "when you think about the other person ( or in your case people), it gives them the power". Focus on you and your dancing, enjoy the friendships you have outside of dance and let go of the things you cannot change. Venting is a good thing, it always helps just to get those feelings heard and understood.
 
latingal said:
Did we already cover having to find ways to stay motivated while practicing alone year after year after year? *grin*
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That is a difficult one for me. It helps to see how my practice time influences my lesson time, and to have clear goals for my practice time. That being said, I still don't practice as often as I should! That is a unique part of proam.. the bulk of the student's time in dancing is practicing on your own, away from your pro. It requires a level of discipline and a clarity in goal setting that is challenging.
 
I actually like practicing alone...it is far more relaxing :)...that being said, working at a gym and taking so many lessons, my greatest challenge is working through the pain of how sore I always am at first, and it is very hard to make myself do that...otherwise, I enjoy it very much...as alone, I can concentrate on one or two things...on a lesson, lol, that man wants all of it at once...the only real drawback for me beyond the initial soreness, is the risk of having forgotten something and practicing it wrongly...but that is slight and the merits far outweigh it...I look at my practices as a way to get my money's worth...so that we don't have to waste too much time repeating crap I should have nailed on my own
 
lol...having said that, if he was available for FREE, I would far rather have him here than have to practice without him...
 
fascination said:
lol...having said that, if he was available for FREE, I would far rather have him here than have to practice without him...
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This!!

Like fasc, I do enjoy practicing alone also....but for days and years on end, it can make it challenging to stay motivated to get your a** in to the studio as much as needed.

It's mostly habit now thank goodness....but there are days when I look at my heels sitting in the dance bag waiting to go and I heave a sigh of resignation (and I must admit, every once in a great while I get dressed to go and decide to play hookey - LOL!).
 
And then again....I find solo practice to have been invaluable to my learning. I believe I have progressed faster because I do have time to work on just what I need to work on, and solo practice gives me a lot of discovery/exploratory time. I have developed a great understanding of latin because of it.....but more actual partnered practice time would be nice....
 
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