How to acheive the "Magic" Embrace
- Thread starter aaah
- Start date
ON a more serious note... I think women are often better leaders simply because they are already so familiar with tango when they start learning to lead. I don't know many females who started with leading.. they all learned to follow first. So I can't say for sure whether they are better in the long run or whether they just progress faster in the beginning of leading since only the actual leading is new. For men, usually it's ALL new. I would imagine that men who learned first to follow would make better leaders too. And that men who have learned to lead might learn to follow faster than those who are only just starting tango.
Basically, anyone who has already learned one part has a head start when learning the other part over those who are total beginners.
Do women lead better because of something innate in women? I'm not going to speculate!
Basically, anyone who has already learned one part has a head start when learning the other part over those who are total beginners.
Do women lead better because of something innate in women? I'm not going to speculate!
bordertangoman
Well-Known Member
No women do not lead better, but a few lead very well.
newbie
Well-Known Member
I try here and there to follow and I'd say that I am worse than a starter. I'm worse on moves that are easier with heels (5th of 8CB), I know the sequences therefore I am anticipating all the time, and I am familiar with the music which makes me do pauses when the music stops, even if there is no lead for that.
Peaches
Well-Known Member
Eh? What am I chiming in about? Sorry...haven't been paying much attention to the forums lately.
No, I can say with all certainty that I will not be going to Denver.
I'm sorry for some of the experiences that the women on the forum have had, dancing with complete spanners who there's no excusing... for what it's worth, we do it very differently round here... (extremely follower- and floorcraft-centric from top to bottom).
Assuming men who aren't complete tools (but are fairly typical men), is it likely that the woman having to adapt the embrace to the man is due to 'us' having been told that it is both the woman's prerogative and responsibility to establish the bounds of the embrace and maintain it?
So us literal-minded and turf-conscious guys go, 'Phew - one less thing to have to juggle and take responsibility for; and it's rude/domineering to step on another person's turf - it's hers.'?
It takes experience, subtlety and - most importantly! - feedback (the never-tiresome 'not being a mind-reader' thing) for the guy to realise that it's more of a two-way negotiation, rather than her happily doing 'her job'.
I know how different things can be in other cultures, but I'm flabberghasted that there are women who would find it innappropriate/problematic etc to mention to a man that his embrace is hurting her! Blimey!... I'd be mortified if I found that out about a woman I'd danced with (that she'd not told me there and then, let alone afterwards).
By the way, however questionable/newb the technique, I'll never cease to tend to slightly exaggerate the foot to foot initial weight transfer as you both synch-up to each other and the music - who doesn't like to be held and gently rocked to music? Seems to help the 'magic'....
It's also my soothing 'reset button' if we screw-up at some point, before we start moving again (since I don't care what any external observer might think, if they see me do it; but do care about how my partner and I feel).
Assuming men who aren't complete tools (but are fairly typical men), is it likely that the woman having to adapt the embrace to the man is due to 'us' having been told that it is both the woman's prerogative and responsibility to establish the bounds of the embrace and maintain it?
So us literal-minded and turf-conscious guys go, 'Phew - one less thing to have to juggle and take responsibility for; and it's rude/domineering to step on another person's turf - it's hers.'?
It takes experience, subtlety and - most importantly! - feedback (the never-tiresome 'not being a mind-reader' thing) for the guy to realise that it's more of a two-way negotiation, rather than her happily doing 'her job'.
I know how different things can be in other cultures, but I'm flabberghasted that there are women who would find it innappropriate/problematic etc to mention to a man that his embrace is hurting her! Blimey!... I'd be mortified if I found that out about a woman I'd danced with (that she'd not told me there and then, let alone afterwards).
By the way, however questionable/newb the technique, I'll never cease to tend to slightly exaggerate the foot to foot initial weight transfer as you both synch-up to each other and the music - who doesn't like to be held and gently rocked to music? Seems to help the 'magic'....
It's also my soothing 'reset button' if we screw-up at some point, before we start moving again (since I don't care what any external observer might think, if they see me do it; but do care about how my partner and I feel).
newbie
Well-Known Member
Reminds me of one of my partner coming back to our table in one BsAs milonga after her first (and last) dance with a milonguero. "So tight that I could barely breathe. The guy almost broke my spine". Litteraly speaking a breathtaking experience.
So, remember another thing (besides the no-Pugliese part) about dancing like a milonguero: don't forget to break the follower's spine.
You appear to be saying all/most milongueros dance that way. Is that your opinion?
By the way, DChester: I suspect that there's an element within what Newbie said of: 'Within the 'Mecca' of 'authenticity' - the very thing that all proto-milongueros aspire to - the dynamics and codigos etc rendered her less able to 'acceptably' speak up for herself than she might have been in a less 'authentic' and 'worthy' milonga-situation.'
It's more an interesting, ironic point than a blanket-statement about all milongueros.... [At least I took it to be so....]
It's more an interesting, ironic point than a blanket-statement about all milongueros.... [At least I took it to be so....]