Tango etiquette. Is it normal?

[bordertangoman]

Yes, that was my thought also. Men, we're just shallow really...

aha; a case of tanda-mismatch? when the dame you want to dance with becomes free but you aint done the obligatory three dances with your current partner... well it cuts both ways. I waited for ages to dance with someone who must have had a dozen dances with her favoured partner and I asked and she turned me down as she was "too hot and tired".
So I wouldn't worry about it. C'est la vie.

 

[Wolfgang]

I'm pretty sure she did not turn you down because she was 'hot and tired'.
Sorry, but that's excuse no. 546,879,021.

 

[dchester]

I have asked ladies why they dance with who I consider a bad leader (simply by observation) and the answer often is “dancing with him is a challenge” So as men with Egos we sometimes don’t see the big picture when it comes to how women think. This guy was assuming the damsel was in distress and wanted to be prince charming and save her. The question is did she want to be saved???????

I'll mention that both my wife and I will pretty much give anyone a try for a couple of reasons. We don't want to become "tango snobs", the type who think they are too good to dance with beginners/less skilled. Also, by dancing with lots of different people, it helps you to be able to more quickly adapt to people with different styles/philosophies.

Of course, there are times during the milonga when I will be looking for specific people.

This does lead to a story this past weekend, where I was dancing with someone, and I ended up behind my wife (who was dancing with some bozo). I heard her somewhat sternly tell the guy "Don't worry about it, just keep dancing". I asked her later on what that was all about. She said that the guy was complaining because, all night whenever he led a gancho, the women were doing a sacada. I joked to her, I think the common element in his problem, is him.

 

[delamusica]

I'm pretty sure she did not turn you down because she was 'hot and tired'.
Sorry, but that's excuse no. 546,879,021.

You're so right! Women at dances never get sweaty and don't ever need a break from their heels. I can't believe guys fall for that line when I use it . . . what schmucks!

 

[spectator]

This is tango. The standard period is a tanda ie 3-4 songs. It is expected that if you invite someone to dance, you are asking for three songs. You should never walk off before three unless there is a major problem. If other people see that happen they assume it's because the other person is making their partner uncomfortable. People watch. I watch all the time otherwise how do I know which invitations to accept and which to decline? It is incredibly rude and disrespectful to use such a stupid excuse. If this "bad leader" is that bad the girl herself can say no.
Unless it is a good friend with a valid reason (ie need to fiddle with the music but will be right back) if someone does that to me, we never dance again. Although to be fair most people recognise that I do not respond well to that kind of behaviour so this hasn't happened to me for many years.
Diva yes, abandoned on the dance floor, no.

 

[Angel HI]

This is tango. The standard period is a tanda ie 3-4 songs. It is expected that if you invite someone to dance, you are asking for three songs. You should never walk off before three unless there is a major problem.

In argentina, yes. In the US, not necessary. This has been threaded to death.

 

[Zoopsia59]

threaded to death.

Threaded to death... I like it...:uplaugh: