Negative comments from family members who don't dance

I know someone who often gives me free advice, but advice that's not necessarily correct. Actually, majority of the time, the advice is incorrect or inaccurate. This person is only a social-level dancer. And yes, it is a family member.
 
waltzguy said:
... This person is only a social-level dancer. ... .
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Excuse me, but is there something wrong with being "only" a social dancer?

Once again, we social dancers are seen somehow to be less worthy of respect.
:mad:

In spite of long-time DFers assertions to the contrary, social dancers can easily feel marginalized around here and that may be why we often tend to lurk quietly in the DF shadows.

Rant over.
 
I second the idea that those negative comments from family don't come from a vacuum and that there might be more behind it than being about one's dancing. It can be hard to blow off comments especially from ppl who are supposed to be close to you.
I think it's pretty common for the parents to worry and try to push their kids down paths that seem secure to them, and to try to somehow get them to do their best, even if they don't always know what they're talking about (eg technique).

One of the things that we've thought about with our team dynamics (kind of a loose family that you're not stuck with) is that even though a dancer might not be able to perform a sequence, they could still have valid feedback about how other ppl are doing it, if not valid info on how to do it correctly-- but I think this is kind of different from the problems tanya's having.
 
old dog said:
Excuse me, but is there something wrong with being "only" a social dancer?

Once again, we social dancers are seen somehow to be less worthy of respect.
:mad:

In spite of long-time DFers assertions to the contrary, social dancers can easily feel marginalized around here and that may be why we often tend to lurk quietly in the DF shadows.

Rant over.
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agree...and hopefully WG will take more care in the future
 
waltzguy said:
I know someone who often gives me free advice, but advice that's not necessarily correct. Actually, majority of the time, the advice is incorrect or inaccurate. This person is only a social-level dancer. And yes, it is a family member.
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On behalf of our social dancing DFers, who span a wide range in ability, let's try to use the term "social" to describe activities or events, rather than ability level. Thanks! :)

It's unfortunate - that negative correlation between skill and unsolicited advice on the floor. DL's signature comes to mind. :)
 
My dad doesn't comment on my dancing so much, but with other sports he thinks he knows something about, he doesn't hesitate to give me the 'do this, do that, put your mind in this place' comments. Frequently.

I tend to ignore it, because most of the time he is pointing out something I laready know and am trying to fix.
 
I guess you might say I'm a social dancer with fairly extensive studio and lesson background.
And I don't feel marginalized.:D
 
our daughter always suggests us to smile more and keep energy going on the floor during the comps, this is very good suggestion and we try to obey:)
 
very often our friends ask us how did they do during specific heat in a comp, but it is very hard to give suggestions on their technique, because I am not sure what are they working on with their teacher and on our level we all have many problems and we cannot correct them all at once. I only reserve to small and very specific suggestions, for example, heel lead from promenade in waltz or leader's fingers all apart in a hold; and only if I was asked for my comments.
 
in regard of non-stopping nagging negative comments from family members, who do not dance and do not stop their comments, here is my advice:

ask them to dance for you, video tape them, then ask them to watch you and then them, and then tell them that when they do at least 75% of what you can do, they are welcome to comment on your dancing. Until then, do not take them seriosly, and may be stop inviting them to your comps (well not too much you can do about all of these if they are your parents so:)
 
At least your family members make comment. Whenever I start to talk about dancing to my mom, she does not respond at all. That means she totally disagrees, but she does not talk about it. That's the scary part.
 
dlgodud said:
At least your family members make comment. Whenever I start to talk about dancing to my mom, she does not respond at all. That means she totally disagrees, but she does not talk about it. That's the scary part.
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Why do you think she disapproves dancing so much? On what ground: financial, religious?
 
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