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Greetings. Been lurking here a bit. I must say I am intimidated because the forums tend to be geared more towards competitions (or pro-am "comps" in the lingo). But, I think this would be a great place to get feedback on my observations.This will be a long post, because some may be interested.
I had started it because someone I knew in the past that I do not talk to anymore suggested it. That was in my late 20s to early 30s, and I am now in my early 40s. I also had a bit of extra money, and wanted something interesting and different to do at the time. Add to that, numerous articles on the internet saying you would meet lots of cool chicks. Not that I am Mr. Octopus and feel the need to feel up ladies, but being single at the time and having a social circle that had a poor or nonexistent selections of mates interested in me or me them, the thought intrigued me.
I first got a free private lesson from a local studio that is blocks from my house. The lady I danced with was pretty good looking in a trendy New Orleans Marigny/ Bywater geek girl kind of way. She was very patient with me and very encouraging. Of course, I had the "money" talk, but had the cash and felt why not? I would get 20 privates or so, as many groups as I wanted, and a free party every Friday where wine flows. I would spend that much going to a pub a lot.
Numerous classes later and parties later, I must say I wish I did this in my 30s and dare say 20s!
I will state right off the bat, if you are going there just to pick up girls, your time and money would better be served going to a dating site, working on your appearance, actually leaving the house for more than just work or groceries, and living a cool life. Either that, or there are escorts, your morals, cash, and security notwithstanding. Also, most of the stories of 3 girls to every boy depends on area. The club I go to has just as many men as women, though out in the suburbs there seem to be more ladies. Half in all places are couples. Creeps are dealt with pretty harshly, men or women, and the scene is very close. Everyone knows of everyone else, so you have to be cool and be there to actually dance.
That said, it DOES add things interesting to you. Current lady I see does it and it was definitely a feather in my hat. While folks do hook up there and I hear stories, I found this one outside my studio. Even though she has done this far longer than I, she has the added benefit that she knows of all the happenings around town and I have more places to go to than just my studio's club party.
I have noticed this, though, on the subject of men vs ladies. The women seem to be swept up in a nirvana and get entranced pretty quickly as newbies. For men, though, this is rough. Your lead and your head will be constantly calculating stuff. You must navigate a floor, small talk, put together stuff on the fly, all the while doing so in a pleasing manner and NOT STOPPING even if a mistake is made and breaks your frame. Anyone that says this is for sissies or makes you less than a man is ignorant. This stuff is hard. Worse, until you get to a certain point, the ladies would rather dance with someone that give them that nirvana than suffer through the guy that only knows the rhumba box and maybe a spin. It is easier just to go with the flow than have to know a full arsenal like men have to.
But I will say it HAS been worth it. You do meet all sorts of ladies, and cool guys. The dance community for the most part, seem to be genuine people. I am at that certain point where I can do a decent (but very limited) amount of things, but still have trouble with some dances and keeping beats. Some, I must even sit out of anxiety about messing up . But, I am much less awkward and nervous than before. It has given me a lot better confidence.
My only complaints are it is pretty steep as for as cost, high learning curve, and my job has an insane schedule that keeps me from getting the most of my training. There are times I miss a week. Also, the "beginners hell" I mentioned with guys where you do not get as much practice as you would like because beats for a newbie can be hard to follow and you may know one or two tricks you can do poorly. Also, careful with the wine..lol. A little gets you over approach anxiety, a bit too many can make dancing rough. Not that I am a drunk, though a Halloween party I was on the border of being too "festive" to concentrate on new tricks. Thankfully, I was not wasted..lol. No wonder many drink nothing but water!
Anyways... wall of text aside, thought the info might be helpful.
I had started it because someone I knew in the past that I do not talk to anymore suggested it. That was in my late 20s to early 30s, and I am now in my early 40s. I also had a bit of extra money, and wanted something interesting and different to do at the time. Add to that, numerous articles on the internet saying you would meet lots of cool chicks. Not that I am Mr. Octopus and feel the need to feel up ladies, but being single at the time and having a social circle that had a poor or nonexistent selections of mates interested in me or me them, the thought intrigued me.
I first got a free private lesson from a local studio that is blocks from my house. The lady I danced with was pretty good looking in a trendy New Orleans Marigny/ Bywater geek girl kind of way. She was very patient with me and very encouraging. Of course, I had the "money" talk, but had the cash and felt why not? I would get 20 privates or so, as many groups as I wanted, and a free party every Friday where wine flows. I would spend that much going to a pub a lot.
Numerous classes later and parties later, I must say I wish I did this in my 30s and dare say 20s!
I will state right off the bat, if you are going there just to pick up girls, your time and money would better be served going to a dating site, working on your appearance, actually leaving the house for more than just work or groceries, and living a cool life. Either that, or there are escorts, your morals, cash, and security notwithstanding. Also, most of the stories of 3 girls to every boy depends on area. The club I go to has just as many men as women, though out in the suburbs there seem to be more ladies. Half in all places are couples. Creeps are dealt with pretty harshly, men or women, and the scene is very close. Everyone knows of everyone else, so you have to be cool and be there to actually dance.
That said, it DOES add things interesting to you. Current lady I see does it and it was definitely a feather in my hat. While folks do hook up there and I hear stories, I found this one outside my studio. Even though she has done this far longer than I, she has the added benefit that she knows of all the happenings around town and I have more places to go to than just my studio's club party.
I have noticed this, though, on the subject of men vs ladies. The women seem to be swept up in a nirvana and get entranced pretty quickly as newbies. For men, though, this is rough. Your lead and your head will be constantly calculating stuff. You must navigate a floor, small talk, put together stuff on the fly, all the while doing so in a pleasing manner and NOT STOPPING even if a mistake is made and breaks your frame. Anyone that says this is for sissies or makes you less than a man is ignorant. This stuff is hard. Worse, until you get to a certain point, the ladies would rather dance with someone that give them that nirvana than suffer through the guy that only knows the rhumba box and maybe a spin. It is easier just to go with the flow than have to know a full arsenal like men have to.
But I will say it HAS been worth it. You do meet all sorts of ladies, and cool guys. The dance community for the most part, seem to be genuine people. I am at that certain point where I can do a decent (but very limited) amount of things, but still have trouble with some dances and keeping beats. Some, I must even sit out of anxiety about messing up . But, I am much less awkward and nervous than before. It has given me a lot better confidence.
My only complaints are it is pretty steep as for as cost, high learning curve, and my job has an insane schedule that keeps me from getting the most of my training. There are times I miss a week. Also, the "beginners hell" I mentioned with guys where you do not get as much practice as you would like because beats for a newbie can be hard to follow and you may know one or two tricks you can do poorly. Also, careful with the wine..lol. A little gets you over approach anxiety, a bit too many can make dancing rough. Not that I am a drunk, though a Halloween party I was on the border of being too "festive" to concentrate on new tricks. Thankfully, I was not wasted..lol. No wonder many drink nothing but water!
Anyways... wall of text aside, thought the info might be helpful.
