Naddrin Kentlar
Active Member
story from a small milonga/practica I attend lately, from the 'other' dancing school.
A week ago went there knowing that I want to work mainly on my dissociated walk, my grounding, balance, and to try to control and transform the inertia in my body and my partner's body into a pleasant energy that I tried to put on music. I was minding my own thing, followers seemed to enjoy their time spent with me. (I assume that because I always cabeceo from a safe distance, therefore if they're in my arms I'm sure they really do want to be there, even if the reason they do is because there's nothing much else to do
)
Then a rare face arrived. Last month we danced and most of the tanda she talked to me telling me how, my dance was repetitive and non imaginative, and how much better I would be if I would be joining the 'other' dance school, and that the so what I'm learning, is wrong. (I did know my dance is repetitive, but I did focus on other issues at that moment). Nevertheless I've seen her as pushy, bitchy, and arrogant and I personally felt very hurt.
Now, I cabeceo her again, she accepts, and I feel her starting to assess me. Oh boy, time to brace myself. The moment I felt in the embrace that she was starting to understand a pattern (didn't let her reach the next level - bored) I inserted chaos in my dance to keep her from getting bored. Change in pace, energy, attitude, dynamics and acceleration of the steps.
About 2 minutes later, I do feel a tension in her embrace, she stops me and asks me with a smug arrogant attitude:
- 'why do you use your hands to make me do pivots ?'
In my mind the reflex was like "What the fudge ???, not again". But I did realize that I was giving the pivots wrong. As the other followers were not as good, I instinctively started to use the hands to have more control over the followers movements in relation to music.
I say nothing, I let her show me how to give her the marks. (pretty much the same as I learned at my school)
I adjusted quickly and I realized that she did have some insane flexibility (at 20+ years, that's easier
). I was never before with a follower able to do about 140-150 degrees dissociation. And it felt easy and clean, without using me for support at any time.
We both seemed to enjoy the rest of our dance. I know I did. I presume she did because 1) I felt it in her embrace 2) she remained silent for the rest of the tanda.
And the point is.
If I chose to only get hurt and avoid her, would only hinder my own progress. It's hard and painful to accept, and analyze criticism from a source you particularly don't like. But it's more productive than from a follower that only compliments you, because she'll want to dance with you again, and hopes that by being careful with your feelings she increases the chances.
A week ago went there knowing that I want to work mainly on my dissociated walk, my grounding, balance, and to try to control and transform the inertia in my body and my partner's body into a pleasant energy that I tried to put on music. I was minding my own thing, followers seemed to enjoy their time spent with me. (I assume that because I always cabeceo from a safe distance, therefore if they're in my arms I'm sure they really do want to be there, even if the reason they do is because there's nothing much else to do
)Then a rare face arrived. Last month we danced and most of the tanda she talked to me telling me how, my dance was repetitive and non imaginative, and how much better I would be if I would be joining the 'other' dance school, and that the so what I'm learning, is wrong. (I did know my dance is repetitive, but I did focus on other issues at that moment). Nevertheless I've seen her as pushy, bitchy, and arrogant and I personally felt very hurt.
Now, I cabeceo her again, she accepts, and I feel her starting to assess me. Oh boy, time to brace myself. The moment I felt in the embrace that she was starting to understand a pattern (didn't let her reach the next level - bored) I inserted chaos in my dance to keep her from getting bored. Change in pace, energy, attitude, dynamics and acceleration of the steps.
About 2 minutes later, I do feel a tension in her embrace, she stops me and asks me with a smug arrogant attitude:
- 'why do you use your hands to make me do pivots ?'
In my mind the reflex was like "What the fudge ???, not again". But I did realize that I was giving the pivots wrong. As the other followers were not as good, I instinctively started to use the hands to have more control over the followers movements in relation to music.
I say nothing, I let her show me how to give her the marks. (pretty much the same as I learned at my school)
I adjusted quickly and I realized that she did have some insane flexibility (at 20+ years, that's easier
). I was never before with a follower able to do about 140-150 degrees dissociation. And it felt easy and clean, without using me for support at any time. We both seemed to enjoy the rest of our dance. I know I did. I presume she did because 1) I felt it in her embrace 2) she remained silent for the rest of the tanda.
And the point is.
If I chose to only get hurt and avoid her, would only hinder my own progress. It's hard and painful to accept, and analyze criticism from a source you particularly don't like. But it's more productive than from a follower that only compliments you, because she'll want to dance with you again, and hopes that by being careful with your feelings she increases the chances.
