Advices For Milonga Participants

[larrynla]

I am 100% with Peaches views on this. As for regional differences, it is still a matter of negotiation. This includes Argentina. Dancing is a partnership, not a master/slave relationship. A woman (or man) who does not like a venue where everyone dances a certain way can always go elsewhere, or wait for that rare partner who cares what s/he feels.

 

[basicarita]

And if you are female: well if he doesn't stand at 1 metre/80 or more, has a butt as hard as a brick, washboard abs to make a washboard erm..weep, the torso of a swimmer, the pins of a sprinter, a winning thick-lipped smile, gentle eyes, glossy hair, smells like a toiletries counter, has a chiselled jaw that only yesterday were copied onto GQ and can dance you into another dimension entirely, then ladies, give the bloke a wide berth, he simply ain't worth a look-in. :lol:

Mmm ... sounds like one of my favorite tenistas.
He can't dance, though.
:-D

(I know, I know ... I'm all off-topic. )

 

[LoveTango]

Good idea! But I hope the men who is doing this can indeed dance in close embrace.

I don't like to be in close embrace if the man is much shorter than I, and particular if he is much interested in executing the just learned steps, rather than dance with the music.

I think I like Peach's answer best. Outside of BsAs, it is a negotiation.

...but! The leader has a very powerful tool in that negotiation. That is, the opening gambit. The way I was taught, the dance begins when the follower accepts. The leader is supposed to act his best before the couple even gets to the floor. The leader does not hesitate. He moves confidently, and acts as if the embrace is already decided. If the follower chooses to block, well then, the leader can't force it. He either goes with the follower's wishes, or doesn't dance with her. But the point is, if the leader acts like he knows what the hell he's doing, and projects the attitude of "I am a close embrace dancer. This is how I roll." then the follower is more likely to give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

[newbie]

My advices especially for male dancers.

Sometimes some people go to milongas for just watching and they dont know how to dance. And you had better not to ask them for a dance because you will be rejected. So, how can you know if someone in a milonga knows how to dance or not? If you are a male, you can easly find out if a woman can dance or not by just looking at her shoes. If she doenst wear a high-heel shoe, she probably cant dance so keep away from her

You should be careful before asking for a dance from a woman who has just rejected a man. Because she might be a beginner or she doesnt know how to dance. And dont try to ask for a dance from a woman who rejects more than one men

When you are sitting in a milonga watch the dance floor and decide who you want to dance with.

Let the woman decide close or open embrace. Do not try to dance close embrace if the woman doesnt want.

Never go to milongas before taking a shower and use perfumes.


(Please add your own advices)

It's funny to see how the exact opposite is good advice too.

#1 Beware when scanning the followers, high-heels are not a proof of skill, I once invited a lady who had come with her salsa (as I was told afterwards, too late) shoes/outfit and was beyond beginner level in A.T.

#2 I was once requested by a fellow leader to invite the lady with whom he wanted to dance, because I was a beginner and she would reject me, then he would come and she would accept, because rejecting two consecutive leaders is simply not done.

#3 You cannot decide. The ladies whom I would like to invite are the same than the other leaders like to invite, and therefore they're not available for me, they're always dancing with the other leaders. What I can decide when sitting and watching is who I do not want to invite.
#4 There is another thread about it, my opinion is the leader decides about the embrace as it's part of the leading.

#5 Shower yes. But perfumes? Hey, deo is ok, perfume may or may not be liked by the followers, and perfumes (I suppose, after-shave for the cheeks, fragrance behind the ears, lotion in the hair, armpit perfume, torso perfume, hands washed with perfumed soap) can only be used to keep the other couples at range when you're dancing.

 

[opendoor]

Re: choice

.. my opinion is the leader decides about the embrace as it's part of the leading..

Yes and no ! Embrace is part of interpretation and style. So you are right. But if a follower absolutely don´t want to dance open or close, I will accept it (for the length of that tanda, anyway.)

It´s because I still remember my own development. In my first two tango weeks I only danced open. Then a woman said, hey, now it´s time to start with close hold, and I agreed though I really felt that incommodious with my nose between her boobs and my feet lost somewhere down under in no-man´s-land. Then I danced in close hold for several years, since another dancer said, now it´s time to start with open hold, and so on...

 

[pascal]

But if a follower absolutely don´t want to dance open or close, I will accept it )

Close, ok. This is what everybody has seen when visiting BsAs, the old fat porteno squeezing the young tourist. Ok, it must not be done. Except if you are an old fat porteno.
But a follower who "don't" want to dance open? No way. I will push her away any time I need space, if she does not like it I'll give her the coords of teachers for beginners. One exception was Maria Carmen La Turca something (dances with Dispari), I was physically unable to push her away, I wasn't strong enough lol.

 

[Mosca Negra]

La Turca! Yes, La Turca is no fragile flower charmed by a man's giggling and incessant eyelash-batting! She is an excellent example of a follower who leads when not led.

 

[salthepal]

I think it's sad that some people learn tango solely in the open embrace

 

[salthepal]

I highly suggest everyone look up the word "cabeceo"

 

[Jim Chad]

Any suggestions on where to look it up?

 

[dchester]

I highly suggest everyone look up the word "cabeceo"

I reeeeeally think that most of us here know that it means a nod (of the head). Is there some reason you think that we need to look it up?

 

[Subliminal]

This is generally how I perform the cabeceo.

Sometimes if the milonga is crowded and/or dark I resort to this:

And if the girl is all dressed up, I might go with this:

 

[Lilly_of_the_valley]

This is generally how I perform the cabeceo.

Sometimes if the milonga is crowded and/or dark I resort to this:

And if the girl is all dressed up, I might go with this:

Hahahahahaaaaah.

 

[dchester]

This is generally how I perform the cabeceo.

Sometimes if the milonga is crowded and/or dark I resort to this:

And if the girl is all dressed up, I might go with this:

 

[Zoopsia59]

Where do you guys find all these fabulous smilies?