Advices For Milonga Participants

[salthepal]

I reeeeeally think that most of us here know that it means a nod (of the head). Is there some reason you think that we need to look it up?

Just that quite a few people posting were describing how they walk up to ladies and ask them to dance ... hence, I thought it would be useful for people to look into ways to get dances that would minimize uncomfortable interactions and rejections, etc.

If you know and use the cabeceo, then clearly this wasn't addressed to you. I'm not sure why it seems like you were peeved by the suggestion (were you?). I'm new to the forum, but not new to tango. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything like that. I just wanted to share.

 

[Mosca Negra]

I cannot help but believe that there be Trolls lurking near the beginning of this thread.

 

[newbie]

I think it's sad that some people learn tango solely in the open embrace

Because this is the only way to dance tango. The glued way was designed for the ones who wanted to dance without having to learn.

 

[Dave Bailey]

Because this is the only way to dance tango. The glued way was designed for the ones who wanted to dance without having to learn.

I agree; clearly the open hold is the only authentic way to dance. :grin:

 

[salthepal]

Because this is the only way to dance tango. The glued way was designed for the ones who wanted to dance without having to learn.

Interesting concept

 

[dchester]

Just that quite a few people posting were describing how they walk up to ladies and ask them to dance ... hence, I thought it would be useful for people to look into ways to get dances that would minimize uncomfortable interactions and rejections, etc.

If you know and use the cabeceo, then clearly this wasn't addressed to you. I'm not sure why it seems like you were peeved by the suggestion (were you?). I'm new to the forum, but not new to tango. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything like that. I just wanted to share.

OK, possibly English isn't your best language, but in any case, you seem to be unaware how your posts are coming across, (somewhat condescending). I seriously doubt you would express yourself like this, if you joined a conversation with people talking.

Similar etiquette (as what you would use face to face) would be advisable on-line, especially when getting to know a new group of people. Speaking for only for myself, getting lectures (that were just as boring, condescending, and ineffective as the last 100 times someone posted them here), doesn't make for a good start.

Another way of putting it, just because you think something is true, doesn't mean that anyone else who doesn't know you, is going to suddenly change their opinions about tango (or accept that you must be right), because you say so.

I think if you try to be friendly, people here will respond in kind.

 

[opendoor]

Not yet a concept,

Because this is the only way to dance tango. The glued way was designed for the ones who wanted to dance without having to learn.

Interesting concept

Don´t know if it is interesting nor does it seem to be a concept, at all, anyway, it was my way to tango. I danced apilado for about 3 years without any class or workshop. Then I changed to Salón, then to open embrace, which I really found to be the most difficult one (for me, anyway).


.

 

[salthepal]

Well then, here is a very friendly suggestion for people to use the cabeceo to get dances. Might not always work at all venues, especially here in the US (a lot of people are too dimly-lit or just way too huge to be able to make proper eye contact).

My seemingly condescending suggestion was my (mostly incredulous) reaction to the fact that in a thread mostly revolving around milonga conduct and asking for and accepting dances, no one had mentioned the cabeceo.

In any case, I'm honestly surprised at the smarmy replies to the few posts I made. There were a few replies that were part of a good discussion, but for the most part it seems like some of the established members are irked this noob dared make some statements without respecting the established totem pole.

 

[salthepal]

Don´t know if it is interesting nor does it seem to be a concept, at all, anyway, it was my way to tango. I danced apilado for about 3 years without any class or workshop. Then I changed to Salón, then to open embrace, which I really found to be the most difficult one (for me, anyway).

Completely agree with you that it's the most difficult. That's why I think people should learn leading and following in close embrace. It helps a lot in establishing walking technique, balance, connection and musicality. One can then learn to open the embrace to do more difficult musical expressions. I think a nice dance will inevitably involve a very fluid embrace, close to open to close again.

 

[JohnEm]

Completely agree with you that it's the most difficult. That's why I think people should learn leading and following in close embrace. It helps a lot in establishing walking technique, balance, connection and musicality. One can then learn to open the embrace to do more difficult musical expressions. I think a nice dance will inevitably involve a very fluid embrace, close to open to close again.

Each to their own I suppose.
For me and many others, it is open hold that is much easier
than in the embrace. I use it and a closer practice hold to explain/demonstrate
or to work something out with a partner but not at milongas.

But of course it depends what kind of embrace(*) you're talking about. Sadly
it seems that in Europe (close) embrace includes every type of variation.
D&M are now embodying that concept in the UK. Salon/VU is possibly
easier, in line and apilado definitely not (for me anyway).

See: http://web.archive.org/web/20110128173753/http://www.tangokombinat.de/uk_abrazos_con.htm

Here you will even see a redefinition of Milonguero to suit European tastes.
This is Argentine Tango, and milonguero has come to describe a popular
style danced in central BsAs. Can't we respect that, perhaps by inventing
a new catchall description for the whole range of (close) embraces.
Whose got the imagination and the equivalent clout of a Susana Miller.

(*)I still refuse to call open hold any kind of embrace.
In fact the only embrace is a close one, you don't hug at a distance.
So no qualifiers are needed, except perhaps in the US where two words
are often used when one is enough.

For me open hold is a practice hold, it's all it's fit for.
And now many words will rain down upon me.

Note I'm not talking Nuevo here - I'm concerned with social
Argentine Tango where the space consuming, feel deleted
open hold is not appropriate.

 

[jantango]

I agree with you, John. By definition, an embrace is a hug. You put your arm(s) around another and your bodies touch.

What keeps people apart in the UK and other countries is their CULTURE. If you haven't been demonstrative in expressing your affection to others, then it's a real challenge for you to get close and intimate with a dance partner you met ten minutes ago at a class. None of my family was as affectionate as I am, so living in Buenos Aires suits me perfectly. I naturally greet everyone with a kiss and a hug; no one gets a handshake from me. Giving myself to a strange's embrace in the dance is no big deal for me, but I know it is for many.

Tango classes need to start not with steps, but with listening to the music and learning how to hug. When dancers are comfortable with the embrace, their bodies will move as a natural response to feeling the music. Then each dancer creates his own dance in the moment.

Does anyone want to learn how to hug? Come to BsAs and I'll help you. There is no embrace like the embrace of a true milonguero who dances a feeling.

 

[dchester]

Does anyone want to learn how to hug? Come to BsAs and I'll help you. There is no embrace like the embrace of a true milonguero who dances a feeling.

I just might take you up on that this summer (your winter), if the wife and I make it out there. We're thinking about making the trek again.

 

[Nathan]

Does anyone want to learn how to hug? Come to BsAs and I'll help you. There is no embrace like the embrace of a true milonguero who dances a feeling.

There just aren't enough individuals out there who are both willing and able to impart what that kind of connection feels like. I was extremely lucky that I found someone early on in my tango career who did that for me. If she hadn't helped me to understand, I might have spent many, many years floundering about without any clue regarding the true nature of tango.

 

[salthepal]

Any suggestions on where to look it up?

Since I'm a newbie here, I'm not able to post links. But there's a good article on the totango website as well as on the tango and chaos website. While the cabeceo may seem kind of archaic and as I pointed out, a lot of it times it doesn't work out, especially here in the US, where people aren't expecting it, or because it's dark and you can't make eye contact, etc. But it's useful and it's pretty charming

 

[jantango]

There just aren't enough individuals out there who are both willing and able to impart what that kind of connection feels like. I was extremely lucky that I found someone early on in my tango career who did that for me. If she hadn't helped me to understand, I might have spent many, many years floundering about without any clue regarding the true nature of tango.

There are many who teach who have never experienced the embrace themselves, so they have no way of doing so.

I recently met a young woman and her partner who teach and host a milonga in Australia. They have both been dancing for ten years, and they finally decided it was time to dance in the milongas of BsAs.

I invited her to join me at my table on her first visit to Lo de Celia, so I could explain the codes that she had never used before. I also pointed out the dancers I know. She had a quick orientation and jumped in with two feet. I watched her dancing tandas with the best in Lo de celia over a three-week period. She wrote me upon her return to Australia that she found something in the embrace of the milongueros that she hadn't expected. She thought she danced tango in Australia, but she realized how different it is in Buenos Aires. She was overwhelmed by the experience of discovering the essence of tango.