An ingenue and an impasse: Tales of non-mentoring.

I'm not sure what is meant by a "block of lessons". I would buy them group lessons for wedding couples at your local studio. Clearly they're not interested in privates because then they'd actually take you up on your generosity and show up at a scheduled time. You are doing *them* a favor not vice versa. What they need is flexibility and with group lessons they have that. Group lessons are also not as pricey as privates and while the instruction at the particular session I am thinking about (at CCB) is not that great, it better to send them there than you having to deal with this crap...
 
skwiggy said:
By the way, I hate being one of those people who asks for help and then meets all attempts to help with a "yes, but...". I'm actually considering Chris' idea of buying them lessons as a combined engagement/wedding gift from both me and my boyfriend. It's a pricey gift, but will save a huge headache. I'm going to discuss it with my boyfriend tonight...
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Can you find a studio in the area that offers a "wedding couple special"? Our studio does that; it's like two hours of basic instruction and a couple of beginner groups. For the price, you don't get the most experienced instructors, but for a wedding dance they aren't going to be doing much other than basics anyway.

And the same problem exists in that they told everyone I was teaching them for their wedding. So just the the OP, my name is on this. If they look like cr**, the finger gets pointed at me.
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I wouldn't worry about that. At a wedding reception, the last thing on anybody's mind is critiquing the newlyweds' dancing; everyone is just happy that they dance at all. (Of course, this may depend on what time the bar opens... ;) If you want to see some crappy dancing, hang around until about 10:00 PM... :D )
 
My boyfriend is encouraging me to give them one last try to schedule before bailing. I will try to do so with a firm indication that if they want to do this, they need to schedule and stick with it. So I'll give them one last chance, but with the "out" that if they're too busy planning their wedding, I totally understand and we can just forget it and I'll get them a traditional gift.

Diplomacy sux.

At the last 2 weddings I went to where I taught the bride and groom as a favor (my sis and some good friends), everyone turned to me during the dance, and after the dance, and asked if I taught them, and commented on how great they looked. So they were paying attention, and everyone did want to know if I was responsible. ;)

If they do end up looking like cr** and my name is on it, maybe I'll just hit the bar myself and then I won't care how cr***y they look. :)
 
First of all, noone at that wedding is going to know that they're looking like cr*p. If they do anything resembling dancing, people will be impressed. Second of all, even if they forget ALL of their steps and revert back to prom sway, people will be so busy taking pictures, crying or whatnot to not really care how their dancesteps look. While the guests will indeed be paying attention, it's not the kind of attention you're afraid of...
 
I've purposely kept this in my mind "as simple as possible", but the teacher wants "a showin'" of something by the end, in December. We're just going to hope to cram in New Yorkers, spot or underarm turns, fifth breaks, and some little fru-fru something like a grapevine crossbody into a turn and new yorkers. Maybe a half-moon. Everyone's scared of the half-moon here.

Or, she can take my old fat Ickis in a circle at a walk and trot. HE won't be so congenial.
 
If you go the choreography route (as opposed to the learn to follow anything route) that seems workable. Keep in mind, non-dancers are easily impressed.

Seems to me that trotting Ickis would be a difficult demo for a high school classroom, lol.

What's a half-moon? (I know it's an AT term, and I know what that is, but in ballroom?)
 
It's that thing where you change hands, the lady cha-chas to the right, turns, and then they're in shadow position kind of. Not the best description, but Chris or someone could say it better.
 
PasoDancer said:
I've purposely kept this in my mind "as simple as possible", but the teacher wants "a showin'" of something by the end, in December. We're just going to hope to cram in New Yorkers, spot or underarm turns, fifth breaks, and some little fru-fru something like a grapevine crossbody into a turn and new yorkers. Maybe a half-moon. Everyone's scared of the half-moon here.

Or, she can take my old fat Ickis in a circle at a walk and trot. HE won't be so congenial.
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Can you tell me one thing - what course is this project for? Just wondering, as a parent of a future high-school student.
 
Peaches said:
What's a half-moon? (I know it's an AT term, and I know what that is, but in ballroom?)
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Basically it's a crossover/New Yorker done with a cross-hand hold. In the DVIDA syllabus, you get into it by leading a cross-body and switching hands as you do it. Then, the lead leads a crossover using his right hand, comes out of it with a cross-body, another right-hand crossover, etc. There are several ways to exit it; I like to lead a reverse turn, switch hands at the end of it, lead one more crossover, and finish with an underarm turn.

I've also been taught a variant called "cha-cha circles" in which each of the cross-handed crossovers is preceded by a reverse turn and followed by a natural turn leading into the next cross-body. It's great for making followers dizzy. :D
 
Skwiggy. Wow, annoying people! Call them and tell them that if they still want you to choreograph for them, then they must get their act together. State clearly that you have a busy schedhule and mention a deadline of the "in the following 4 days we must get together for practice" variety. Try to sound serious and stress that you're a working girl and you really don't have time to goof around.

T_E
 
I have no idea. She didn't think it necessary to concern us with the details- eek.

This is crazy, and it's shaping up to be a bad day, too. Our former teacher wants to come back and take up our lessons again, but how do we tell the other teacher to clear off? There's considerably more drama in this than I can really relate, and it's driving me crazy. If we can't reach something, I'm going to quit taking lessons here, and just go once a week, crazy gas prices or not, to DanceWorld, or up to All that Dance in Lexington. This is ridiculous, and I don't pay the equivalent of a car payment each month to fall into a damn soap opera.
 
hmmm...I know quite a few girls who relaxed and as followers were able to do quite a lot in one night. It depends on how good this girl is, really. I've in fact got a person come in with sandals, tell me she has never danced, followed amazingly, and gone away knowing left and right turns, multiple turns, bachata, salsa, merengue, cha cha cha... CBLs, NYorkers, sweet hearts...
 
Chris Stratton said:
I'm of the opion that for many people there is a minimum price they have to pay before they will take something seriously - doesn't matter the quality of free help, if it's free it's not woth much.

Were it not so pricey, I'd suggest making your wedding gift a typical 3 hour block of lessons at a studio - not because it would be better training, but because they might actually show up and get the job done - and more importantly you wouldn't have to worry about how. But then again, I see a lot of teachers sitting around waiting for their wedding couples to show up... and if it's your money not theirs, they still might not.
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Maybe you could buy them an intro package. That would at least get them started. Even if you had to help them after that, they would have gotten the idea that's it's something they need to spend some time on.

Edit: oops, posted before reading the whole thread! Sorry for the redundancy!
 
hmmm...I know quite a few girls who relaxed and as followers were able to do quite a lot in one night. It depends on how good this girl is, really. I've in fact got a person come in with sandals, tell me she has never danced, followed amazingly, and gone away knowing left and right turns, multiple turns, bachata, salsa, merengue, cha cha cha... CBLs, NYorkers, sweet hearts...
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Yes, but I'm jumping to the conclusion that you have previous experience teaching people to dance. We've been told NOT to teach anyone, because we'll just do it wrong anyway, Lol.
 
Well, we're officially being strung along. Whatever happens, happens. If she completes her project looking bad, it's no skin off our noses. This just in from an IM conversation with my partner, who's at work:

Me: No word from Fluffy?

J @ Work says:
Fluffy's Mom said she thought Fluffy would have not opened it, since she was expecting it to be from me... nevermind the fact (and I told her this) the subject said "mentoring: ballroom"
J @ Work says:
i let Fluffy's Mom read the copy you sent me, and she's going to have Fluffy check her mail

I says:
So she emails you... and then doesn't think to CHECK her own email.
J @ Work says:
i think her head's up her @$$

I says:
What did Fluffy's Mom say about the email?
J @ Work says:
she said it was good and informative

I says: and a complete waste of time...

Summary- she chooses email as preferred communication medium, and then neglects it.
 
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