And So It Begins ...
- Thread starter DWise1
- Start date
peachexploration
New Member
Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
SDsalsaguy
Administrator
Sorry to hear it DW1...
twnkltoz
Forum Master
I think you mentioned before that this has been in the works, so it sounds like this might actually be a relief in a way...at least you can have some closure and move on. Sorry to hear it didn't work out, though...that's always unfortunate! At least you have your dance friends to talk to! *hug*
DWise1
Well-Known Member
Thank you all for your support and wishing me well.
Unlike here, I don't go around in dance class announcing my woes, especially since that's part of my vacation from these problems. But I do answer direct questions, especially from those who've known me longer. On Sunday after Lindy class a number of us, including the instructor and his girl friend, usually go out for dinner, so when they asked what was new with me I informed them. Three of the others present (out of six), including our instructor, had also gone through divorces recently so they also offered their support.
Pygmalion's description in another thread of "shell-shocked divorcees" had struck a bit close to home (though I will be a divorcé and my wife will be a divorcée -- beware of geeks who had taken French). Though I've basically been watching this coming for the past few years and have essentially been living alone for the past year and a half (she's been in the same house and in the same bed (until a couple weeks ago), but acting as if I weren't there and practically forbidding my trying to talk to her), so I might have been going through the "shell-shocked" period all that time, I hope. And I'm ashamed to say that at the Saturday night dance, after my wife had informed me, I found myself already checking the women's left hands for "hardware", as one single guy last night refered to the wedding band. In the meantime, until it's all final, my "hardware" is staying in place.
I don't know which I'll miss more: her or la familia. Actually, I've already been missing her for a year and a half, but there's so much love in that family.
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El Salsero Huero
Mexican by marriage, at least for another six months.
Unlike here, I don't go around in dance class announcing my woes, especially since that's part of my vacation from these problems. But I do answer direct questions, especially from those who've known me longer. On Sunday after Lindy class a number of us, including the instructor and his girl friend, usually go out for dinner, so when they asked what was new with me I informed them. Three of the others present (out of six), including our instructor, had also gone through divorces recently so they also offered their support.
Pygmalion's description in another thread of "shell-shocked divorcees" had struck a bit close to home (though I will be a divorcé and my wife will be a divorcée -- beware of geeks who had taken French). Though I've basically been watching this coming for the past few years and have essentially been living alone for the past year and a half (she's been in the same house and in the same bed (until a couple weeks ago), but acting as if I weren't there and practically forbidding my trying to talk to her), so I might have been going through the "shell-shocked" period all that time, I hope. And I'm ashamed to say that at the Saturday night dance, after my wife had informed me, I found myself already checking the women's left hands for "hardware", as one single guy last night refered to the wedding band. In the meantime, until it's all final, my "hardware" is staying in place.
I don't know which I'll miss more: her or la familia. Actually, I've already been missing her for a year and a half, but there's so much love in that family.
-------------------------
El Salsero Huero
Mexican by marriage, at least for another six months.
Ugh! This is a bummer to hear even though you have been forshadowing it for a bit. 
I once had a very lengthy relationship and it came apart after a marriage proposal, a yes, and then a "I don't think I can go through with it." from her. Totally devastating at the time, so I can understand the loss you have felt and likely will continue to feel. Shock is usually the first phase, followed by an awareness of loss, and then a prolonged period of conservation, confusion, and stress, before turing points begin, and then a new life will be created and discovered.
These things are never easy. Even my recent almost one year relationship coming to an end wasn't fun, and I still have pangs of stress and it's been two months since her and I last talked.
Don't worry, you are not burdening me, I get it, and am willing to be there if needed. Let your grief flow when it does and this will quicken your healing process. Vent whenever you want.
I once had a very lengthy relationship and it came apart after a marriage proposal, a yes, and then a "I don't think I can go through with it." from her. Totally devastating at the time, so I can understand the loss you have felt and likely will continue to feel. Shock is usually the first phase, followed by an awareness of loss, and then a prolonged period of conservation, confusion, and stress, before turing points begin, and then a new life will be created and discovered.
These things are never easy. Even my recent almost one year relationship coming to an end wasn't fun, and I still have pangs of stress and it's been two months since her and I last talked.
Don't worry, you are not burdening me, I get it, and am willing to be there if needed. Let your grief flow when it does and this will quicken your healing process. Vent whenever you want.
