Any tips to finding a (follower) partner as a "perpetual beginner" for 17.5 years?

Like you, I HATE social dancing! Don't get me wrong, I would take any dancing over not dancing at all, even social :). I still go just for a chance to dance with with one of the coaches. I hope I am not coming across as stand-offish, it's not that I think that I am better than everyone, but I am better than a lot of people there simply because I put A LOT more work than most. I am not the most trusting and not the most social person and when I dance with the person I don't know well or don't feel comfortable with, it's hard for me to be a good follow. I feel like I don't want to discourage a new or inexperienced lead by not interpreting correctly what he is trying to execute, or I feel super tense worrying that I won't be able to read the lead correctly from a lead more advanced than me. So I am not advocating going this way for you. But I do agree with Worddancer and a few others, I think you might need to compromise to get what you want. Yes, you will not get the world-renown coach with unparalleled expertise in all dance styles technique. But you might find a coach who will be able to help you develop your skill, timing and confidence as a lead so you can then go out and have an easier time finding a practice partner.
 
IndyLady said:
Those are fighting words. [fisticuffs]

Carry on.
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Real nerds use Linux - from the command line, or create their own minimal LAMP-like OS using a free database to support their own [secure] webpage using PHP and JavaScript. Optionally supported in a Docker container. And, of course, implement DoD security requirements and encryption as a minimum - in a cloud-hosted VM.
(Yes, I've put that together for various purposes - and that's even 'yesterday' tech)

Alternatively just use MP3 tags to discriminate.

But then, if you're a real nerd, why MP3? So lossy, even if my hearing is going with age and normal life.

Personally I just listen to, and enjoy, the music - and, of course, some inspires me to dance with a partner.:)
Life's too short and too many other pleasures to record what I've liked and not liked - and I needed an alternative to the nerdy workplace requirements.
 
j_alexandra said:
Second time this phrase has come up. What does it mean?
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In American football the team generally pre-plans a play which is discussed in the "huddle". (The whole team is grouped together discussing the plan.)

Then both teams out to the field to start the next play. Sometimes, the quaterback sees how the defense on other side is lined up and realizes they are prepared for the play his team planned. So he decides on a new play and yells it out as loudly as he can so his team knows the change in plans. This is "an audible".

The dance equivalent would be the lead dancing and calling out all the moves instead of leading with his body/hands etc.
 
NeveraPartner said:
half the time wear a posture (equestrian) device when I dance so that helps
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After a working lifetime driving far too many computer systems, I don't have the best posture - and I have pronation (corrected by insoles). So what? Just get on and dance and learn to adjust your posture. Just don't ever look at your feet! I'm fortunate that I'm still flexible, just lost the muscle support. Dance helps - if you get on and do it rather than finding excuses not to.
 
NeveraPartner said:
unless you have musical instruction as a child and/or are born into a musical family (and can sing), it's not easy to be "on time"
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It's not easy even if you do have musical instruction as a child or are born into a musical family. You just do the learning earlier. Just have to listen to dance music for enough hours so you can hear the beats and bars - and phrases if you want to select your figures to match those, which if you like math should be an interesting challenge.

I wouldn't overly focus on posture. That just happened to be one of the things you mentioned lacking - to be honest, it sounded like an excuse - early on. It's important for competition, and helps a little with the lead by making it easier for the lady to tell what your body is doing, but you can provide a good lead even with mediocre posture.

If you are naturally pigeon toed, you do have to work on that. You know that "3/8 turn" and things like that you say are mathematically attractive? They refer to where the feet are pointing, so being pigeon toed affects that.
 
lucia_l said:
In American football the team generally pre-plans a play which is discussed in the "huddle". (The whole team is grouped together discussing the plan.)

Then both teams out to the field to start the next play. Sometimes, the quaterback sees how the defense on other side is lined up and realizes they are prepared for the play his team planned. So he decides on a new play and yells it out as loudly as he can so his team knows the change in plans. This is "an audible".

The dance equivalent would be the lead dancing and calling out all the moves instead of leading with his body/hands etc.
Click to expand...

"Calling an audible" also has the meaning of making an on the fly change from the plans, which is how I suspect the OP was it. After all, both the huddle and the audible involve talking.
(not disagreeing with your etymological roots)
 
David_D
Agreed. I meant it as giving leads orally. It also can mean making changes on the fly. In football that means the QB communicates the new plan outloud in public where everyone can hear.
 
1. idiopathic toe walker is not the same as pigeon toed
2. I think the pt. I was simply trying to make with physical limitations is if you have nil core strength and mobility to dislodge rib and chest, your samba bounce won't look appealing ... if you have tight legs, you're not going to be able to bend the knees and extend and look sharp in a rumba fan or something more advanced ... and IDGAF at my age and ability about improving that .... cause it's a lost cause .... not my focus is as I've enumerated many times ... I desire COMBINATION, CHOREGRAPHY, some BASICS, VARIATIONS, SUPER VARIATIONS, CONVERSATION+DISCUSSION of different syllabi (there's a lot to discuss, especially with FRDS theory vs. the WDSF/ISTD/Hearn)
3. mp3 was a tangential remark ... I obtained a treasure trove of files from yesteryear when they were easily avail from our Eastern European and Russian friends on the internet, so I'm knowledgeable about a lot of songs .... but I don't speak Spanish and can't discern music well, so it's benefit is not as effective as it should be ... and frankly the point is moot ... IMO, you can easily become a great latin or standard dancer without ever turning on the music ... unless it's a performance piece where you need to sync it .... music is just soothing noise ....
4. Frankly the only lingering question is should I continue with groups, find a local coach for privates, find a "expert coach" for just myself (at first) ... and frankly I think at this point I'd rather solo practice at a social or open event with my tablet with a handwritten sign around my neck, front & back, pimping myself out saying if you want to practice syllabus++ with me, tap me on my shoulder ... it's probably a better choice than anything I've done before...to get what I desire from this hobby.
 
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It's a bit like saying, I love to cook, I've studied all the top chefs, I want to make the most elaborate recipes, and I want someone else to eat it with me.
But oh, by the way, what I have actually cooked so far isn't actually edible, I can't even make a decent batch of chocolate chip cookies or scramble an egg, but that doesn't matter, because I am not worried about such trivia, I just want to use my fancy stove, and high end cooking gear, and buy exotic ingredients and combine them in really very specific ways that I'm technically attracted to, all of which I've studied extensively on youtube. No, I haven't trained with a chef. No, I've never eaten the foods they cook, like by going to a restaurant and ordering something someone else with experience has made, so I don't know what they're supposed to taste like. But I've been studying this for years, trust me, I know a lot about cooking.
And I'm so frustrated because I haven't been able to find a single person that will discuss all the cooking details with me, and also eat my cooking night after night, and discuss all the ingredients with me at length.

You can absolutely approach dance any way you want, and for any reason you want. I truly don't think anyone here is trying to discourage that. But if you want to approach it **with a partner** and accomplish something other than mutual frustration, you will likely need to approach it in a way that makes it at least somewhat enjoyable for one or more partners to dance with you over and over.

You just might find that person, by chance. But it's pretty tough for anyone to find just the right practice partner, and you're making it about 1000x tougher by looking for someone very specific while also refusing to work on the sorts of things (dancing to music on time, learning to lead well, etc) that are likely to make the experience worthwhile for someone else to spend a bunch of time with you on this.

And by the way, if someone wants to cook a bunch of very challanging recipes that yield inedible food, they are welcome to do that too. But they shouldn't act all shocked when no one wants to eat it with them night after night.

If you just want to chat about various syllabus differences, type away. There may be a number of people here with an interest in discussing things online.
 
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