Joe
Forum Master
Perhaps it was from warriors making drinking cups from the skulls of their enemies!
At last: the problem with the cabaceo is solved!
- Thread starter twnkltoz
- Start date
Lilly_of_the_valley
Well-Known Member
I am still not sure I understand what is a problem about cabeceo.
Situation #1:
"I am seated in a single's section at a traditional milonga in Buenos Aires. All invitations happen by way of cabeceo. I am not comfortable with this social custom. I have to get used to it, or I will dance very little, if any, at this milonga". That might be a problem.
Situation #2:
"I am a member of a North American (European) tango community. Most people in the group are fine with verbal invitations, and I am one of them. Some, however, do not like to ask/be asked verbally. They prefer cabeceo. Perhaps, it means they are out of reach for me as dance partners, unless I get used to it."
Is that a problem? and why?
Situation #1:
"I am seated in a single's section at a traditional milonga in Buenos Aires. All invitations happen by way of cabeceo. I am not comfortable with this social custom. I have to get used to it, or I will dance very little, if any, at this milonga". That might be a problem.
Situation #2:
"I am a member of a North American (European) tango community. Most people in the group are fine with verbal invitations, and I am one of them. Some, however, do not like to ask/be asked verbally. They prefer cabeceo. Perhaps, it means they are out of reach for me as dance partners, unless I get used to it."
Is that a problem? and why?
And what if the lady in question can't see well enough to even know he is trying to make eye contact, and therefore never nods?
You are saying it is simple AFTER eye contact has been made. What the OP (and IME it's a valid concern) is saying is that the nature of how many milongas in the US are arranged (and lit) makes it so difficult to even make the eye contact in the first place.
Lilly_of_the_valley
Well-Known Member
It is very true, and very unfortunate.
People would dance so much more, and with more different partners if the milongas were arranged to facilitate that.
Sit#1: Not a problem as I've never been in that situation. If i ever choose to put myself in it I shall know what to expect and adjust my expectations accordingly. In reality, i would expect to watch, not dance, following the rules of the host culture.
Sit#2:Not a problem unless a significant number of people are of the cabeceo persuasion. If they are, I would expect to mainly watch, not dance, feeling cross that alien and unBritish customs were adversely affecting my evening.
I'm not sure that this is the thread to go into great detail about the pros and cons of using the cabeceo - but surely you are aware that many people are ambivalent about it, it can hardly be a surprise?
Lilly_of_the_valley
Well-Known Member
This thread starts with a preposition that cabeceo is a problem, which somehow needs a solution (and the OP comes up with a humorous one). My understanding, we are here in presence of the situation #2:
"I am a member of a North American (European) tango community. Most people in the group are fine with verbal invitations, and I am one of them. Some, however, do not like to ask/be asked verbally. They prefer cabeceo. Perhaps, it means they are out of reach for me as dance partners, unless I get used to it."
That leaves me a little confused, why cabeceo is even a problem in that case?
Subliminal
Well-Known Member
I thought it was funny.
But I know to some people tango is Serious Business. (No smiling! More Tango Face!)
But I know to some people tango is Serious Business. (No smiling! More Tango Face!)
Whether people prefer to ask or use cabeceo don't you think it sorts itself out in the end, people will just go with the flow?
You answered your own question. Those partners are out of reach unless you get used to it. For some, it's not an easy matter to "get used to it". Therefore it's a problem for those people.
I'm a little confused why you don't see any problem. But then, I fail to see stuff all the time... like someone cabeceo'ing me from across the room, the reaction of someone I'm trying to cabeceo, and what is going on behind the thick spectacles of that guy over there who I think might be responding, but the glare off his glasses is making it hard to tell even if my own eyesight weren't so darn poor too.
:rocker:
Lilly_of_the_valley
Well-Known Member
From my observations, people tend to stick to their ways, and, as a result, end up patronizing milongas that are frequented by like minded "support group" big enough for them to dance with. Perhaps, in smaller communities with very few venues people compromise more... So I guess yes, it sorts itself out one way or another.
Lilly_of_the_valley
Well-Known Member
I see. Thank you!
I guess you read more into the OP than I did. I thought she was just making a joke, and nothing more.
twnkltoz
Forum Master
Bingo. Yet, all the fun has been effectively sucked out of it. Whee!
opendoor
Forum Master
Not yet
Abroad I actually use the cabeceo, at home (sorry, my scene here´s notoriously cliquy) I ask dancers directly.
Last night it happend the other way round: the DJ announced the last tanda, and I looked across the room to a former girlfriend to have it with her. Two other ladies near by jumped up. Think they were tourists sittting for a longer period watching like a hawk.
(The situation is usually solved by the man, who attends only the selected girl. Not until then a woman should rise.)
So what would you do?
Abroad I actually use the cabeceo, at home (sorry, my scene here´s notoriously cliquy) I ask dancers directly.
Last night it happend the other way round: the DJ announced the last tanda, and I looked across the room to a former girlfriend to have it with her. Two other ladies near by jumped up. Think they were tourists sittting for a longer period watching like a hawk.
(The situation is usually solved by the man, who attends only the selected girl. Not until then a woman should rise.)
So what would you do?