bordertangoman
Well-Known Member
bring back the laser sights; see that red dot on you....you're picked, take out your compact mirror to signal me back....
At last: the problem with the cabaceo is solved!
- Thread starter twnkltoz
- Start date
bring back the laser sights; see that red dot on you....you're picked, take out your compact mirror to signal me back....
As a follower, quite possibly one of the ones "sittting for a longer period watching like a hawk", I'd back off immediately it had become obvious there was confusion. I would be mortified with embarrassment to do anything else!
I would not stand up until it was crystal-clear that the invitation was intended for me - one of the reasons why I prefer a very direct approach.
Actually, i hate "watching like a hawk". I hate looking and feeling needy, demanding and opportunist. I feel uncomfortable when speculatively seeking eye-contact even though I know it's what the game requires. Another reason why I prefer a direct approach.
pascal
Active Member
Here we have both. Yesterday at the milonga I realized that I had inconsciouly developped the habit of keeping the eyes on the floor, to avoid crossing a cabeceo. Yet I could not avoid five direct invites. Five orders by the way; come here, tangotoy boy. The highlight being a lady asking to be led in nuevo and adding that she hadn't attended ever any class in this style. She kept waving her free leg, trying to catch anything she could, and I kept evading.
opendoor
Forum Master
One sat down immediately again.
Two stood in front of me then and for I could understand that unknown woman,
I told her that because last dances always have a particular meaning I only will have the first piece of that tanda with her and the following two with the actually meant woman.
Dave Bailey
Active Member
I'm enjoying visualising this scene.
Me too.
I have tried to develop a reputation for dancing with anyone who asks unless I am at a point of refusing everyone. Theoretically that should take some of the risk out of approaching me. I try to approach newbies myself since they won't know that.
I've also found that since it is a small community where almost everyone knows everyone else, that there is a lot of eye contact and nodding going on as a greeting when folks first notice someone they know who they haven't said hello to yet. That tends to confuse any use of cabeceo.
The alternative becomes very awkward:
You arrive at the milonga. Someone you know and are friendly with is dancing. At some point after they leave the dance floor, they see you have arrived and they "say hello" from across the room. You don't want to dance with them at that moment (or at all) for whatever reason, so you either avoid eye contact (and therefore any friendly greeting) or you look away quickly when eye contact occurs, which in context, is fairly rude. You could smile and give a little wave then look away, but that becomes a rather mixed signal.
I don't live in Buenos Aires. I live in a mid-sized US city. People tend to arrive and greet at a milonga in a similar fashion to any other social occasion or venue, because that is the cultural pattern of Americans.
They non-verbally acknowledge (greet) people they know whether directly in front of them or across the room.
This acknowledgment as a greeting is not sufficiently different from cabeceo. It's farily easy if you are doing it as you first arrive (taking off a coat, changing shoes, etc). Then other people realize it is meant to be "hello" and not "I'm ready to dance with you" (since you are obviously NOT ready to dance.. although I've had leaders come over and wait while I get ready).
But it gets tricky when you are out of your coat and into your shoes before someone ever realized you had come in, or if all that "gettin' ready" takes place in a lobby. As the evening progresses, it starts to sort itself out. But it can be a couple of tandas before all the greeting smiles and nods are over for any one individual.
Subliminal
Well-Known Member
+100 zoops!
As it's been mentioned before, unless everyone is doing it, it's almost more confusing.
As it's been mentioned before, unless everyone is doing it, it's almost more confusing.
twnkltoz
Forum Master
bring back the laser sights; see that red dot on you....you're picked, take out your compact mirror to signal me back....
Brilliant!
Hippy
David do you think I need to grow a ponytail?
