The side by side work is the hardest. I practice with pro in the mirror. Ok, we are doing the same steps, but it doesn't look the same. The nuances of his movements are so much greater than I can produce. So, he breaks each step into multiple counts which we practice really, really slowly until I can somewhat get it to look reasonable. Each little body move gets its own count.
I do look at him for visual clues, which looks connected, or so I am told, so it worked out ok. Also, he does put me slightly in front if we are executing side by side identical moves. Then I do my thing, and he really follows me. Yay!!
I too have found that gaining more confidence allows me to produce a better product so I don't have to be as worried about the visual cues. I rely on them to get started with the side by side action, but that's it.
Really I think it does boil down to confidence and control. Knowing where your body needs to be on each count helps eliminate a huge reliance on the visual.