Bad News... (Same as in Dancers Anonymous Forum)

[Sakura]

I didn't know where to put this***.... Whether it actually constitued as dance related or not... I'd just like some support, because I'm rather upset right now.

My Granddaddy, the one many of you know who is my reason for dancing and my inspiration while I dance, the man who keeps me at the level of perfection I can attain at this point in time, and the man who keeps me following as best I can (going for the whole "water" thing) is dying.

He'd been having problems for the past six or seven months with just suddenly falling, his legs giving out on him. He'd had a wound around his ankle that wouldn't heal, but now, he's fallen again. He now has a ten inch long gash from just above his knee into his groin that goes all the way down to the bone. He's in the hospital right now. His hands have completely clawed up, so he can't use them any more, and they had to call my Nana in to feed him the other night. He's not expected to leave the hospital again. The only good news in this is that Hurricane Charlie missed them....

My dad and my older brother (who hasn't gone off to college yet) are down in Florida visiting my Nana and Granddaddy right now for three days. I'm rather cross about this because I *know* out of the four of us grandchildren, I'm the closest to him, or so I feel. The rest of us couldn't go because we're in school now, and the situation "isn't that dire," but quite bluntly, it is, because these will be his final months.

I figured I should tell you guys because you're like family to me, even if I haven't met any of you yet, and because this is so connected to my dance life... I dunno..... I just thought I'd tell you guys. I'm really, REALLY upset about this, and I just figured if I got some thoughts or prayers from you guys, I'd at least know some other people care...... Might feel a little better.

To top it all off, I haven't been dancing for about three months (my Grandma had died about three weeks ago**), and just when I thought I was going to get to go dancing (WCS group class and dance), it turned out I couldn't, and now I've strained a muscle in my lower back, so all things considered, there's no way I'm going dancing any time soon. Seeing as that's the one thing that might help me right now with my Granddaddy (or make me burst into tears while dancing, I'm not quite sure yet), I'm a bit on edge right now.....

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

***So I'm gonna put this in the Salsa forum too, as most of my "family" on DF lives there. =^_^=;;

**It's not that I don't care about my Grandma (mum's mum), but I'm not as upset about her because I wasn't (am not) as close to her or my Grandpa... My dad's parents are something entirely else... Much closer to them.

 

[peachexploration]

My thoughts and prayers are with you too sweety. I'm so sorry. Big hug to you my friend.

 

[SDsalsaguy]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Granddaddy both SK...

(Also, please feel free to PM or e-mail me if there's anything I can do. )

 

[cocodrilo]

Sakura
Is there any way you'll be able to see your grandfather for perhaps the last time? I can imagine how much you are hurting...I never knew a grandfather so you are lucky to have such a person in your life, and have special memories of them that will no doubt last you a lifetime.

 

[SDsalsaguy]

That point is a really important one to consider SK... and it was a similar choice that i had to make toward the end with my grandfather as well. Did I want to remember him as I did or have my last impression of him to be hooked up to machines and very, very unwell? Your situation is, of course, a bit different as my grandfather wouldn't have even been able to talk to me by that point, but I much prefer, in retrospect, having the better memories of him being my last.

 

[danceguy]

Sakura,

I wanted to add my prayers and condolences to the list here...I will say a special prayer for both you and your Grandfather tonight.

I believe both Jonathan have made a very important point...you have had a great relationship with your Grandpa and being there with someone during their last moments is very difficult. My Grandma passed away last year and I saw her just a day before she left...and she was able to see and talk to me...and those moments were so very precious. I chose not to go during the very last moments as I was able to say goodbye to her when she still had some fire in her eyes...and that was the way I wished to remember her.

Feel free to PM if you ever would like someone to talk to.

Take care,

Erick (scorpionguy)

 

[jamaicanspice]

oh dahling I'm so sorry to hear about your grand-dad. My prayers will be with you and your family and I will say an extra one on his behalf.

I agree with Jonathan. Your last memories of him should be very good ones. I know you want to see him before he goes...it's only natural. As you rightly said you were both very close and he was the reason for your getting interested in salsa in the first place...that in itself created an even deeper closeness between you because it was something only the two of you shared. Its the one thing you have of him that no-one else in your family has and vice-versa.

I can't help but to think though Sakura that even during this time he would want you to be happy inspite of and despite of what is happening to him. He knows I'm sure that you will be saddened by his death but at the same time I really beleive that he wants you to remember the good times with him rather than the suffering he is going through now. If you could imagine yourself with him now Sakura....what do you think he would say to you? What words would he want to impart?

Chin up my dear...your family here on DF will be here for you whenever you want to talk. IM us....email us....however you choose to communicate we will be here for you.

Here is something I wrote earlier this year. Just thought I would share it with you.....who knows, maybe in some way you can find a bit of comfort in its meaning :|

A Dying Wish

To be the hand that gently
sweeps life's tears away.
To catch the falling tendrils
of soundless pain.
To be the breath of peace that
hugs the battered hearts and minds.
To echo through the cavernous
depths of blinded will and hate.
To be the voice that soothes
the beast;
that quells its raging inferno of destruction.
To watch the child of destiny
evolve to form a world of light
and beauty.
To see a place of rarest bloom
emerge from the pit of great despair.
That is My Dying Wish

Tarin aka 'Jamaicanspice'

Copyright ©2004 Tarin

 

[Anonymous]

I can't say it any better than the late Dr. Buscaglia:

"Everything dies. No matter how big or small, how weak or strong. We first do our job. We experience the sun and the moon, the wind and the rain. We learn to dance and to laugh.

Then we die.

And then:

We all fear what we don't know- it's natural, yet you were not afraid when Spring became Summer, when Summer became Fall. They were natural changes. Why should you be afraid of death?

.. There is something stronger- it is Life. That lasts forever, and we are all a part of Life"

Many of you might know the book, "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf" that was taken from. This year is it's twentieth anniversary. Dr. Buscaglia, the author passed on in 1998 at his typewriter from heart complications. The very last words he ever wrote were:

"Every moment spent in unhappiness is a moment of happiness lost."

 

[MacMoto]

My thoughts are with you, Sakura. I remember your post about your granddaddy, and it must be very hard for you not to be able to see him right now. But I agree with Jonathan... It's very painful to watch someone you love die, and the memory haunts you for a long time... I don't think your granddaddy would want you to remember him like that. Cherish your happy memories of him and of the times you spent with him. Perhaps you can write to him, send your photo and let him know that you are thinking of him even though you can't be with him?

I'm also sorry about your forced dance hiatus... hope you are getting better soon. *Hugs*

 

[squirrel]

SK... I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing... I lost a grandfather too, and I sincerely hope you won't go through the sorrow of seeing what is left of the man you once had beer with and went to walk with... I wasn't spared and it haunted me for years...

I think you need to be strong and remember how he used to be...

About dancing... just keep in mind you'll get back on the dance floor some day!

Be strong! My thoughts and sympathy are with you!

 

[Sonia in Aalborg]

Hi Sakura,
I'm truly sorry to hear about your granddaddy and all that you're going through. I hope he doesn't suffer too much and that your back gets better and you can get back on the dance floor. I have a grandmommy and daddy too and miss them coz they live a 1000 miles away and hope and pray everyday that they are ok. The same wish goes to your granddaddy too.
Take care.
...Sonia

 

[Sabor]

we will all inevitably loose people we love.. but we also need to remeber that there are many others who we love and they love us back unconditionally.. :kissme:

 

[Pacion]

Hi Sakura

Sorry to hear about your granddad. :cry: Will write more later. As Sagitta suggested, how about telephoning? Can you send him a recent photo of yourself, perhaps whilst dancing? Perhaps even give your Dad and brother a top of yours with your perfume on it (or that you have worn for an hour or so) so that your Grandfather can feel you close, even if you are not?

It is not the best option/or the option you want but as wrote, it may be better for you to remember him when he was well, rather than being in hospital surrounded by that very clinical environment. I know you want to just put your arms around him and hug him. Based on the connection you told me you have with him, I am sure that if you think about him and imaging your arms around him, he will feel it, even if you are not physically there.

Perhaps you could even ask your Dad if he could bring you back something of your Granddad's? A jumper/t-shirt or so?

Hug back to you. Lots of love during this time.

 

[borikensalsero]

Prayers to you and your grand-daddy SK! I'm sorry to hear abour your Grand-pa and heartache !

 

[pygmalion]

SK. My heart is with you. :friend:

I first read your post yesterday and it's taken me this long to even attempt to say something. Truth is, I have no wisdom for you. Everybody feels these tragedies and handles them in their own way. All I can do is tell you what I did when I was in a similar situation with three of my grandparents -- two of my gradmoms and the only granddad I've ever known. All three and my great-grandmom died with a few years of each other.

What I did was start sending them cards and letters. Religiously. One a week, to each of them. I didn't necessarily spend a lot of time and effort writing, but, no matter what else happened, I sent a card, note or letter every single week without fail. Sometimes, I'd include a picture or a newspaper clipping. Sometimes, I'd talk about things that were going on in my life or at work. Anything. I just wrote.

Oddly enough, that gave me comfort. I really believe it helped my "old folks" get more enjoyment out of their last days, too. But it helped me most. It was my way of enjoying and treasuring the last moments I had with some people I love very much. I got to "talk" with them, and, over the course of months, say all that I needed to. And, later, I knew that they'd felt my love in a tangible way.

May God bless you, sweetie. :cry: :friend: