Be truthful now....

Woof. What a topic.

I've been dancing for many many years now, since my mid twenties and sometimes anticipation of a lead just happens. Probably best not to beat yourself up over it. :) How to avoid it? The people I see that have the most problem with this aspect of following tend to be ladies who learn strictly by pattern, rather than basic structure. If you learn in a class that every time he goes outside partner you will be required to cross (not true) then you set yourself up for anticipation and this applies to any other pattern you may learn. I see plenty of ladies who auto-ocho and auto-boleo and auto a bunch of other things because they just either haven't learned basic structure (and rely on patterns to figure out what a leader is doing) or just haven't been doing it long enough to develop the sensitivity for it. Even when you have, there's always a day when your focus goes and you anticipate something. Generally, minimizing it is what I'd aim for.

So the first advice I have always given to followers in a learning situation is stop worrying about the steps and focus on staying with your partner and less about whether you think he's leading an ocho cortado or a giro. Chances are because they are also learning their leading is less than clear, so you have that working against you to when it comes to anticipation.

Also, though Opendoor's comments may have struck a nerve, I have been dancing long enough to see what he means. Learning a dance can be very hard on a couple. It even starts to come between some people (personal experience) outside of the dance. When I first started AT I asked others who were married and had been dancing for some time how they do it without causing issues between the couple. The general consensus was "learn separate" (which is my preference and I have seen this work to great advantage) and "only dance with each other at set times, like warm up or final tanda".

Jantango is right though. Posting on a public forum, you are bound to read entries you don't agree with. The ones I see here are so much more tame than some other places most times.
 
I would disagree that learning with your SO makes you more likely to anticipate with people. You may anticipate more with your SO because of the familiarity with dancing with him, but that's not likely to affect your anticipation with other leaders. If you find yoursealf anticipating with others than your SO, then I would tend to think the anticipation comes more from pattern based learning than from over-familiarity with the leader. But that's just my .02 and as they say, people vary.
 
Here I would like to share a little report from the fields. While lately I see a lot more people coming to learn tango as a couple, I encounter much less fighting, arguing, blaming-the-partner, struggling couples, and a whole lot more patience, cooperation and teamwork effort. I hear the partners exchanging a lot less of "No, no, you are supposed to do this, and then I go there...", and I don't see much anticipation. I don't know if it is due to the fact that more couples coming to class nowadays are younger people or that the notion "tango is supposed to be about connection and partnership, and not about getting the pattern right" has finally reached the general public.
 
I guess the strife I am referring to and what I thought of when I read Opendoor's comment has more to do with the amount of interpersonal struggle I have seen develop between partners. Often it seems to stem from a disparity of learning ability/experience between the partners and/or different preferred dancing style and lack of personal flexibility. I rarely see the "no, no put your feet here and I go there" type either but the other, I see fairly often.
 
I would say my biggest problem when I was learning to follow wasn't anticipation, but rushing. Which I guess could be a form of anticipating. I had to really learn to take my time and draw out the whole step. Especially with the giro pattern. Had a good discussion with my teacher about old-school vs nuevo teaching. I think the nuevo way is more about waiting for each lead on each step, the traditional pattern way can lead to more anticipation.
 
Subliminal said:
I would say my biggest problem when I was learning to follow wasn't anticipation, but rushing. Which I guess could be a form of anticipating. I had to really learn to take my time and draw out the whole step. Especially with the giro pattern. Had a good discussion with my teacher about old-school vs nuevo teaching. I think the nuevo way is more about waiting for each lead on each step, the traditional pattern way can lead to more anticipation.
Click to expand...

Sub- you're a leader most of the time though, right? (Tell me I haven't got it all backwards all this time!)

I have taught leaders to follow (and think it's important for them to learn) and know what you mean. I've been teaching hubs to follow this past year and he does pretty well, but rushes, which I think you are right and is a form of anticipation. Or he reacts to what I've led based on what he knows about what I'm doing from a leader's standpoint and formulating a response to it as opposed to just feeling the general direction of the lead and relaxing his legs and hips and going where his body (should) want to go when I remind him to relax (and not assume). I'd say that's a form of anticipation particular to leaders! :)
 
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