Becoming more responsive to the lead?

[mshedgehog]

I often wonder how much of our being able to lead and follow has to do with our common set of expectations (such as having had the same class, learning from a particular individual, etc),

Well, apparently it was roughly zero in the specific case of me and Ampster, since we have danced together only on one occasion, we had never seen each other before, and we learned our tango eight time zones apart.

We danced three tandas, tango, vals, and milonga, separated by dances with other people (none of whom I had ever met before either, though one of them danced remarkably like a man of similar physique I dance with here). My only not-good dance of the night was also not-good in a way that's completely familiar to me from back home.

But obviously where this is not the case, other possibilities are much more likely.

 

[Ampster]

My take on the follower being more responsive to the lead is this:

It is the Leader's responsibility to provide a CLEAR ENOUGH LEAD for the follower to follow.

Yes, she must know how to follow. But, as a leader you must give her something to follow in the first place. If your leading is not readable (muddled, fuzzy, absent, tentative), then no matter how good the follower is, she will have a hard time doing what you want to do if you can't lead it. Its a conversation. You can't give an answer to a question you can't hear.




I was at one time, one of those jerks that tried to teach on the dancefloor. I was also obsessed with steps at one time. But, I made a concious decision to understand AT's fundamental nuances. Becasue of this, I had epiphanies that happened in a around the time I wrote these posts:

• Stages_of_learning_dance...
• Don't_impress_her_with_your_fancy_steps...

I basically accepted and admitted to myself how bad I really was. I also made it my mission to be able to lead anyone at any level and make her look good. It made a difference in her following, which made a difference in the total character of each and every Tanda.

 

[Zoopsia59]

I have to conclude that lots of people get along by developing a shared vocabulary with individuals, rather than the vocabulary made possible by very basic principles.

I believe that you never really learn to follow until you dance with total strangers. Even when you know the basics and make an effort to practice and implement good technique, there is alwyas the danger of "recalling" rather than following when you dance with people well known to you. My following started REALLY improving (or should I say, I started to really realize what I needed to work on) when I allowed myself to dance with "out of towners" that came to milongas that I attended and got over my fear of dancing with leaders I wasn't "used to".

 

[Angel HI]

Good point, Zoops.

 

[BlueSkies]

I believe that you never really learn to follow until you dance with total strangers. Even when you know the basics and make an effort to practice and implement good technique, there is alwyas the danger of "recalling" rather than following when you dance with people well known to you. My following started REALLY improving (or should I say, I started to really realize what I needed to work on) when I allowed myself to dance with "out of towners" that came to milongas that I attended and got over my fear of dancing with leaders I wasn't "used to".

Ahh! This makes so much sense from the leader side as well. Recently I've started dancing with quite a few new people, and experienced a bit of a "low" in my dancing. I was feeling that my lead was clear only to people that I danced with often. I'd be metaphorically banging my head against the wall particularly after dancing with followers who were clearly very skilled but struggled to follow me. One lady saved me from my motivation troubles though, we just clicked (in the dance connection sense), and had some great dances right off the bat. So I was in this "I can't dance!", "I can dance!" mood swing.

Now I'll take on board these wise words from Zoopsia and flip the whole experience into something I can genuinely feel I'm learning from - that will make me a much happier (blue) bunny!

Thanks!!

Blue

 

[bafonso]

I believe that you never really learn to follow until you dance with total strangers. Even when you know the basics and make an effort to practice and implement good technique, there is alwyas the danger of "recalling" rather than following when you dance with people well known to you. My following started REALLY improving (or should I say, I started to really realize what I needed to work on) when I allowed myself to dance with "out of towners" that came to milongas that I attended and got over my fear of dancing with leaders I wasn't "used to".

Good advice, the same goes for leaders. Besides, AT is a social dance, so always good to meet new people Just watch out for dancers that may hurt you...

I feel it's always very important and humbling to get out of our comfort zone to learn from it.