Beginning Dancers' Frequently Asked Questions

i get my shoes from tango-wear they are custom made and absoloutely perfect.
 
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Hi everyone im new here and I can already feel the ppl are friendly and helpful here.

I was SO glad to find those links, but they dont seem to work, and I tried the search function, and I couldn't find the exact same one? Please someone help me, 100% of them (basically ALL of the links posted) I really really really wannt to see, but none of them work.

Thanks, guys and girls
 
I'm new here and decided to update the links to help out my fellow noobs (plus I was looking up some of them anyways). Hopefully they all work :)

I'm just starting out. Do you have any words of wisdom?
What Would You Tell Beginners

What do I wear to dance?
Swing Dance Clothes
Dressing for Social Dances/Parties
Basic Wear to Practice

How and where do I find a reputable dance teacher?
What Makes a Good Teacher
Dance Instructor Questions
Does the Sex of the Instructor Matter?

How do I practice?
Keeping Practice Exciting
Practice Makes Perfect … Or Does It?
Dance Practice Drills

Do I need dance shoes? Where do I buy them? How do I care for them?
Help with dance shoe sole issues!
Shoes and Foot Care

I only have a couple weeks to learn to dance. What do I do?
Help! I Have a Wedding in Two Weeks
Ballroom Lite Please

What about dance lessons -- how much do they cost? Should I take group or private lessons?
Cost of Private Lessons
How Can I Get More Out of My Group Classes?

Are there rules of etiquette for the dance floor?
Etiquette
Social Obligations

How do I find a dance partner?
Dance Partners

I need to know the basics of club dancing. Help.
Club Dancing Index
 
I have 2 questions:

1. I was taught that a man can "invite" the woman to turn but that she does not have to turn (her shoe is loose, she's dizzy, etc.). Is this true or does the woman always have to turn?

2. This really happened. A couple was bearing down on us and would have run into us if I had not taken the lead to steer us out of their way. I didn't feel I had time to warn my husband. Hubby says I should "never" take the lead. Is this true? If not true, when can the woman legitimately take the lead?

Thanks in advance for any help on this.
 
ksulli said:
I have 2 questions:
Click to expand...

Hi there.

1. I was taught that a man can "invite" the woman to turn but that she does not have to turn (her shoe is loose, she's dizzy, etc.). Is this true or does the woman always have to turn?
Click to expand...
The sun won't fall out of the sky or anything if she doesn't. :)

Sometimes I lead an underarm turn and my partner, for one reason or another, just doesn't go. That's OK, as long as we sort ourselves out and (ideally) get back on the same page for the next measure.

2. This really happened. A couple was bearing down on us and would have run into us if I had not taken the lead to steer us out of their way. I didn't feel I had time to warn my husband. Hubby says I should "never" take the lead. Is this true? If not true, when can the woman legitimately take the lead?

Thanks in advance for any help on this.
Click to expand...
I think not-colliding is better than colliding. That said, there's a wide spectrum of back-leads. My favorite back leads:
* make it clear that my partner will keep following no matter what
* let me know that there's a problem where we're headed
* give a clue about where the problem is (how far, what direction)
* suggest a safe alternate route.

I know very very few ladies who can do all of that; and I have a LOT of respect for the hard-earned skill they exhibit when they do it.

In any case as a leader I think it's ideal when my partner communicates but leaves it up to me what to do about what she communicates. This requires a certain amount (!) of trust on her part.

It's tough for a beginner follower to back lead adeptly. It's disconcerting for a beginner leader to feel that leads are being disregarded. It's useful nonetheless for both to work together to avoid being bumper cars.

Suggestions might be to make a point of returning the lead immediately after taking a *brief* action to avoid a problem; or indeed to allow minor collisions to occur (back-of-leader-to-back-of-leader is generally not so bad in my experience).

Finally, not having been there and not having seen the incident, I might note the possibility-in-principle that the other couple, despite all appearances to the contrary, had their own plan to miss a collision.
 
ksulli said:
I have 2 questions:

1. I was taught that a man can "invite" the woman to turn but that she does not have to turn (her shoe is loose, she's dizzy, etc.). Is this true or does the woman always have to turn?
Click to expand...

It's a free country. If I don't want to turn, I'm not going to turn. If there's a reason though, I'd probably mention to the lead, "Ummm, I'm dizzy/tired/shoe about to fall off." Otherwise, he's going to keep trying to lead you to do it.

ksulli said:
2. This really happened. A couple was bearing down on us and would have run into us if I had not taken the lead to steer us out of their way. I didn't feel I had time to warn my husband. Hubby says I should "never" take the lead. Is this true? If not true, when can the woman legitimately take the lead?
Click to expand...

With a good leader, I won't backlead, but I will indicate that something is amiss. GOOD leaders can pick up on a teeny indication. Like a slight "pull" (for lack of a thesaurus at the moment to come up with a better word for it) on his arm. Granted, I've also social danced enough that I can make my indications there pretty clear.
With a beginner leader, I'll flat out back lead away from danger. If he gets peeved about me "taking over," then in the future, I'll just make sure I'm safe and the other couple's lady is safe and let the stupid leaders run into each other.
Of course, if I happen to not like the other couple, smacking the guy with my elbow might be a good thing. (I kid, I kid. My dear departed (for another state, I didn't kill him) former instructor would purposefully put me where I could "arm style" into my much formerer instructor, and the social part of me wins over the gladiator part of me and I just can't do it. :x )
When I was starting out though, sometimes the best thing is to just grab the guy and get out of the way. But then you've also got a blind spot too, so you might be moving him into a danger that YOU don't see. So really, my rule is to just keep myself and the other couple's follow as safe as possible. And until I was aware and skilled enough, my rule was really just keep myself safe. Let the guys battle it out. Once the clueless leaders run into each other a few times, they learn.:p
 
DW does a great job of quickly taking the lead if there is danger on the social floor. But often she over reacts. For example, I am moving forward in LOD, someone is moving quickly toward us from behind in LOD. They should wait for us. I do not want her to hold me up for that split second because that interrupts our flow as I am moving into free (forward) space. Often this causes me and the overtaking hot dog to arrive at the open space simultaneously.
 
Two questions:

1. Does the woman always have to turn when the man invites her to?
2. Is it permissible for the woman to take the lead to avoid being "hit" by another couple?

Thanks for your help!!
 
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